Wellbeing Assistance

29/10/2025

Do you ever feel stuck in life? I certainly do. At least from time to time, I meet an obstacle that I just wish wasn't there: my if! Many of those 'ifs' seem objective: this is just how the world is, I don't have a way or power to change it!

But there is another type of 'if'. One that begins search for an alternative, for change, for a way to overcome the obstacles in an innovative way. Is it easy? Not really. But that's the only way I know to reclaim my power: change the perspective and try new ways.

Do you find it easy to work with your 'ifs'?

10/10/2025

https://www.facebook.com/share/17KhCetDpv/

We live in times when the stigma is replaced with misinformation.

Using a counsellor when you are distressed should be as normal as seeing a GP when your body is ailing.

Today is . 2 in 5 Australians aged 16–85 have experienced a mental disorder at some point in their life. Anxiety disorders are most common, with over 1 in 4 Australians experiencing a disorder from this group at least once.

If you, or someone you know is experiencing distress, please contact Lifeline on 13 11 14 or lifeline.org.au or Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636.

30/09/2025

Listening can be hard! Some people are amazing storytellers, and it's easy to listen to them. But even then, we might get lost in associations and our own thoughts.

When we aren't really interested in another person or preoccupied with our own life, it's very easy to catch a phrase or two, stop listening, and follow our own story.

Listening takes effort, practice, and perhaps some bravery.

What do you usually do when you got lost in your own thoughts and weren't paying attention at all?

Do you give some generic statement to make an impression as if you did listen? Or do you admit that you were distracted? If you are acknowledging that you didn't listen, are you willing to give it another go, but this time paying attention?

How do you feel when you are on the other side, when your story is being ignored?

Communication is a bridge. It takes skill to build them.

28/09/2025

Listening to understand takes focus, patience, ability to suspend one's judgement, and good will. It takes a lot! That's why it doesn't happen that often. Especially when we are to listen to someone whom we labelled as the type of person who lacks understanding.

Sometimes, it's political affiliation, or age, or s*x, or job, or nationality, or... can you think of more examples?

We want our lives to go smoothly, so why waste time trying to understand people we already believe we disagree with?

Yet, we live in an interconnected world. We might disagree, but we still have to share the planet and share our offices and homes.

Understanding someone doesn't mean agreeing with them! You might still follow different values, priorities, and goals and therefore refuse to accept someone else's way of doing things. But understanding them helps (not hinders) navigating the conflicts.

What do you think?

17/09/2025

Sometimes, we fail at communication because we are too narrowly focused. Yes, we listen, but we listen with an intention different to the intention of a speaker. We try to hear the information that WE consider important, and ignore the rest.
For example, a loved one is sharing with you how their day went. You remember that they had some trouble with a colleague at work, so your focus is on whether it got solved. It did, so you stopped paying attention. But from the perspective of your partner, it was about them considering if they should apply for a new position. But you didn't listen that far... ouch!
Yes, paying attention is costly! It takes time, focus, and energy! But the alternative is, if we don't listen the first time, we will have to navigate some kind of conflict resolution.
Yes, sometimes it's hard to stay focused because we feel tired, have too much on our plate, and are preoccupied with something else. Usually, it's a good idea to share with the other person why right now it might be hard for us to fully listen and make time for a proper conversation on another occasion.

12/09/2025

Perhaps training ourselves in listening to understand instead of listening to reply is an act of courage.

Some of us were trained to see every important conversation as a battlefield where one person's needs, visions, and plans will trump the needs of the other person.

One who was louder, more witty, more intimidating will win, and the other one who listened and couldn't find the right words would lose. So it's important to defend oneself, to find a good reply even before the other person is finished speaking.

But fully listening, giving yourself time to think before you answer brings better results. Firstly, the other person is feeling heard (and like most human beings, feeling heard makes us more interested in reciprocating and hearing our point of view). Secondly, you know what's the actual problem and can address it. It's already a win-win, at least at this stage.

10/09/2025

Have you ever experienced talking to someone who seemed to 'knew better' what you really think and feel? Or maybe you are the one who tends to 'see' hidden messages in everything that is being said?

Again, it's tricky because reading between the lines, noticing if people really mean what they say, is an important skill!

Unfortunately, we can go overboard with that. So, how can you know if you are perceiving the hidden or projecting of your own attitude?

You might want to ask yourself: Am I feeling safe in this conversation?

If you are feeling safe, you are more likely to stay present and mindful, notice what's happening with the other person, and be responsive to them.

On the other hand, if you are already anxious or angry, you might be projecting your own thoughts and emotions. If you assume that someone is lying to you, you will be looking for ill-intentioned thoughts and attitudes.

Building safety and trust in communication is a must. Do you know how to do it?

08/09/2025

Most of the barriers to real and deep communication are made by our minds.
Have you ever tried to notice what your thoughts are when you 'listen' to another person?
As social animals who live in hierarchical societies, we are well trained in comparison. It's not only about keeping up with the Johnsons, we also learn what is possible from the achievements of others. Comparison isn't all bad. But it can be.
One of the situations where comparison harms you is when you listen only to find out how you rank against the person who is sharing their experience with you.
When it becomes a habit, it's hard to build real friendships and meaningful connections.
That's why it's important to learn listening without comparison.
Listening is a skill, and developing skills takes practice. If you are interested in developing your listening skills, send me a message for more information ✨️

07/09/2025

There is probably no one in the world who never had an experience of feeling misunderstood. When this happens, we can have many types of emotional responses. Someone might feel isolated and defeated, or someone might feel angry and scornful of 'a fool who doesn't understand him'.

Communication is tricky! But it's also a skill that we can develop and improve. It's actually one of the most important social skills that determines the character of our relationships.

For good communication, we need to be able to both express ourselves and to understand the other side. In the coming weeks, we will focus on what it means to truly listen.