The Ol' Factorie

15/04/2026

There’s a strange intensity to this one. Like everything is sitting in the same room inside me and refusing to be ignored. It’s not anything new really- more like I’ve been the person covering my ears, squeezing my eyes shut, singing la la la to drown it out. This time I’m like… hey guys, what we got cooking? It's like I've stepped up to the table of a major heist and I'm finally ready to play my role.

A bunch of planets in Aries doesn’t feel like inspiration, it feels like compression -🎶 like a diamond🎶 thought, desire, instinct, direction- all pulled into one point until there’s nothing left to dilute. Refinement.

And here, in autumn, it’s an odd contrast. The world is softening, releasing, letting things die back while something in me is suddenly very awake. Alive.

Not rushed. Just clear in a way that doesn’t really ask for agreement or permission anymore.

It feels like something has already moved, shifted, and I’m just noticing it now. This whole time the gang has been going over the plan; mastering it, finalising routes, exit points, possible bottlenecks, security, and now it's time to put it into action.

X

16/02/2026

So much going on. I opened my feed today and was given whiplash with all of the stuffs.
So naturally I'm adding to the stuffs 😜

The loudest thing I'm feeling is rebellion.
Rebellion against all of that *gestures out there*
Staying with what is present.

Allowing the beauty of the eclipse season to do what it be doing, while we focus on remaining with ourselves, observing, breathing.

When eclipse season ends, what remains will tell you more than any forecast ever could.

Trust that.
Not what everyone else is telling you
Trust you.
Trust your experience.

For what remains ⚔️

💋

07/02/2026

I look around and all I see
Is you 🫵🏽
and you 🫵🏽
and you 🫵🏽

and me

The world is a heinous place
But I still see
That with you and me
We can still be

Ruthless
Alive
Uncompromising
Free

It takes courage
and courage
and bravery

For us to unite
Despite what we see
About her
And him
And them
And we

Be ruthless
Be alive
Uncompromising
Free

For what you believe
Despite what you see

Despite you
Despite them
Despite us
Despite me

Uncompromising in our humanity

⚔️❤️‍🔥

02/02/2026

Lately, fear isn’t loud.
It’s familiar.

It shows up in the body first:
the spike, the tightening, the alarm.

I can hear my blood pumping.
Feel my heart beating.
My hands start to tingle.
I clock every ache, every pain,
from my head to my toes.

I look around.
My kids are laughing,
talking to their dad over dinner.

I know where the loop goes.
I know how easily panic turns into escape.
And still - I stay.
For them.

Part of the fear isn’t the panic itself.
It’s what comes after.
Because I know what helps me:
food, movement, tending my space and self.

And once, I lost myself inside those things.

Care became control.
Support became compulsory.
Devotion turned into something I had to obey.

So now there’s hesitation.
Not because those things are wrong
but because my body remembers
what it cost me when they stopped being a choice.

For a long time, panic meant I had to do something.
Fix it. Override it. Optimise my way out.

That only taught my body
that presence required supervision.

I learned early that presence wasn’t safe.
That lesson settled deep into my bones.
Eventually, the body itself
became the place I tried to escape.

So I’m learning something harder.
I’m staying inside the panic without correcting it.
Letting it move through my body
without turning care into another form of control.

This is strength.
Not forcing calm.
Not performing regulation.
Not abandoning myself to feel safe.

The loop breaks here
not through effort,
but through presence that doesn’t flinch.

I can feel fear
and still choose nourishment without punishment.
Movement without obligation.
Care without disappearance.

This isn’t about doing everything right.
It’s about staying.
And every time I do,
my body learns something new:
that panic can exist
without me losing myself again.

The alarm sounds.
Chaos ensues.
Panic present.
I remain.

29/01/2026

I didn’t come back up.
I went further down.

Past the point
where my nervous system keeps
panicking
and calling it danger

Past the frazzle
past the urge to
outrun
discomfort
in
tiny
socially acceptable
ways

Panic attacks are forcing honesty
they’re showing me how often I
don’t stay
with
myself

So I’m slowing the inputs
less caffeine
regular food
ice in water
reading
cooking
movement instead of spiralling

Not as a glow-up
as hygiene

Somewhere in this descent I’m realising
more deeply
my thoughts aren’t mine
they’re shaped by what my brain is
tuned to receive
and if I don’t choose the signal
the signal chooses me

There’s fear here
that if I refine the signal too much
life won’t feel romantic
that depth will be dull.
that tending to myself will be flat
unremarkable
unmagical

I’m learning to love it anyway
to tend to myself as a whole
not in fragments
not chasing the bits of frequency that break through
and feel
right

That way of living was like a spirit box
catching pieces in the static
mistaking fragments for truth
calling it intuition
while losing myself in the noise

The demons weren’t the threat
they’re honest
they don’t pretend

The real risk is staying at the surface
overstimulated
porous
mistaking awareness for absorption

So I’m piercing through the depth I’ve always avoided
not to come back up
but to reach the island on the other side

A sanctuary that doesn’t shimmer or perform
it’s anchored
quiet
and it asks to be tended
not chased

The work is simple
relentless
unromantic

Staying with myself
protecting the depth

20/01/2026

A reading that feels like a docking point- shadow material setting the tone into 2026.

Post reading rambles: 🕳️🐇

Very Matrix energy.
Blue. Red.

But it’s not about the choice here... That was made a long time ago. This is about what followed.

Our good old friend, HESITATION
Be it from shame
Guilt
Fear
Ya mum..

So it stayed there
dissolving on the tongue,
bitter enough to notice every day,
sweet enough to keep you wanting more.

Savouring.

All that’s left now is the mental part.
Accept the perspective.
The swallowing, if you will.

Not so simple.
Because the bitterness has become familiar.
Comfortable
Predictable.
Safe, in its own way.

Hanging inbetween
On the edge.
Ooh..
Risky.

And letting go of that
means finally moving forward.

Which is the goal..
Right?

No, not moving forward..
It's something else
Clarity? Understanding?

Acceptance.

"Break the pattern today, or repeat the loop tomorrow."

Feels very eye roll, duh,
but ya know.. things have a way of revisiting
Landing differently
Seen with new eyes

Yada Yada

Something about this feels cellular - which is where the matrix analogy is coming from.
Programming
Coded
Bleepbleep bloop
Downloading

Remembering?

Hmmmm

This one hits deep in the bones. Tingly head.
Goosebumps. Touch of joy, and acceptance.
Heart space feels open.
Solar plexus feels a bit tight - confidence/willpower blockage. - this is the fear of commitment and hard work.

Energized. Oof dare I say I feel some momentum?

We're orienting 💃🏽

Yeehaw 🤠

*Reading this back feels insane, but welcome to the experience*

16/01/2026

I let myself wander longer than I’m comfortable admitting.
I did feel lost.
Kinda liked it there too.

I needed that, because anything decided too early would’ve been borrowed from somewhere else.

The why is clear now.
I can’t move from comparison.
I can’t keep looking at how other people do things and trying to graft it onto myself -
putting pieces of me back together with borrowed or stolen parts.
Frankenstein’s monster.

That’s where I dilute.
That’s where I disappear.

My lane is my lane.
There are no shortcuts here.
No merging lanes.
No softening it so it’s easier to travel.

What I’m locking into is staying with what’s mine -
even while I’m still learning how to stand comfortably in it.
Even while it wobbles.

And part of that means I’m done giving time and energy to anything that isn’t aligned with this.
No more side quests.
No more entertaining things that don’t actually matter to me.
No more leaking energy just because something is familiar, convenient, or expected.

This doesn’t feel like confidence.
It feels like being forged.
Heat.
Pressure.
Resistance.

A tempered blade isn’t made by rushing, and it isn’t made by copying someone else’s shape.
It’s shaped by staying in the fire long enough to hold its edge.

So I’m locking in.
Not to how it’s meant to look.
Not to how anyone else does it.

To my lane.
To what I’m devoted to.
To who I am - shadows and all.

And the discipline to stay there.

07/01/2026

Emotionally, things feel steady right now.
No highs. No lows. And that’s been an adjustment.

At first, it felt strange - like my emotions were slightly further away - and I wondered if that meant something was wrong?
I’m used to intensity.
To feeling things sharply.
Overwhelmingly.
To movement inside me meaning something needs attention... NOW.

But this doesn’t feel like apathy.
I still feel things.
They’re just not pulling me around.

Stepping back has shown me how much I usually absorb from other people - moods, tension, undercurrents I don’t consciously track. Without that constant exchange, my internal state has levelled out.

A new baseline, not a flatline 〰️

There’s been a small hum of guilt around not doing much beyond reading and writing. But I’m not pushing myself out of it. This feels like a necessary pause, not avoidance.

The signs and symbols still appear. Numbers. Small moments. Odd details that catch my attention. I notice them, but there’s no urgency attached. No need to chase meaning or turn them into direction.

Someone said something to me recently - about seeing me in someone else, about a certain softness and strength existing at the same time.
It caught me off guard.
Part of me wanted to say that’s not me.

But maybe it is.
Without the overgiving.
Without trying to be held together by force.

What’s different is that I’m not fighting the darker parts of myself anymore. I’m not over-indulging them, and I’m not trying to override them. They’re allowed to exist without running the show.

I've actually missed those parts of myself. The introvert. The part of me who can sit in the playground at school and watch the ants, read a book, and feel the sun on her skin.

This steadiness doesn’t feel exciting or profound.
It feels lived.

Like something inside has finally stopped bracing.

05/01/2026

I’ve been having a time out from everything.

Not a clean break.
Not a crisis. Well maybe a little 😅
Just that feeling of I can’t keep showing up like this anymore.

I didn’t step back with clarity.
I stepped back with fatigue.
Hurt.
Confusion.
Burn it all down energy.

Honestly, I was going to close the business and disappear, ghost everything and everyone.
Like I was an apparition.
Just p**f.
Irish exit.
Was she even real?

Still might 🤷🏽‍♀️

That low-level irritation.
From too much performance, too much fake, too much adjusting myself so things feel easier for everyone else.
Many small moments that accumulate.
Ya know?

What I noticed first wasn’t some big insight - it was how quiet things got when I stopped trying.
Stopped managing how I was perceived.
Stopped smoothing edges before they were even touched.

And in that quiet, a lot became obvious.
How often I make myself smaller without realising.
How often I stay available out of habit rather than choice.
How easily being “understanding” turns into being used.

None of that feels dramatic to say.
It just feels… true.

I don’t feel angry, exactly.
More resolved.
Like something has settled into place and I’m less willing to override it now.

I don’t think I’m changing who I am.
I think I’m just noticing myself more - where I tense, where I go blank, where something feels off and I usually talk myself out of it.

I’m still not sure what this looks like.
But things are changing.

As always.

X

26/09/2025

Hello My love!

I'm loving this holiday I'm having and I can't bring myself to come to the shop for 1 day 😅

I'll be back in the cave next Tuesday with some extended hours for the school holidays.

Here's a link to in person readings: https://theolfactorie-bookings.as.me/tarot-reading
if you want to secure one.

Otherwise I do have 3 card email readings- They're currently only $33 cos that feels fun.

https://theolfactorie.com.au/products/3-card-email-reading

Have a glorious Saturday and see you beautiful people soon 🥰

Schedule your appointment online The Ol' Factorie

22/09/2025

The shop will be closed this week.
Taking a week off before school holidays.
Might be back Saturday
Will keep you all posted ✌🏽

07/09/2025

12 signs. 12 ways of arriving.
This is your invitation.

As part of the lead-up to , I’ve channelled an energetic reading for each zodiac sign- not predictions, but reflections.

Whispers to guide you into the frequency of this event.
What it might awaken in you.
And how it might meet you where you are.

Start with your sun.
Then your moon.
Then your rising.
Or just feel into the one that calls.

NENA isn’t just an event. It’s a resonance.
And maybe, just maybe, it’s calling your name.

Tickets at nena.au.

2 weeks to go!