13/10/2025
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐖𝐞 𝐓𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐎𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐬: 𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐎𝐮𝐫 𝐈𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐍𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐬 𝐔𝐬 𝐁𝐚𝐜𝐤
Recently, I’ve been having conversations with my daughter about asking for help.
In particular, asking for help before she becomes so completely and utterly shutdown and overwhelmed.
This last few weeks, she’s been starting Year 8 Algebra.
And I started to notice the behavioural signs in her — the hiding away, the avoidance of conversation, the reluctance to go to school, the big emotions bubbling up seemingly out of nowhere.
When we finally talked, the truth came spilling out through tears and frustration. She was really bloody struggling to make sense of it.
"MUM! why the hell do they use letters in Numeracy!!!" She shouted at me. I laughed to myself and thought, oh hunny, l know.
As we dug further into the conversation, I noted all the stories she was telling herself:
“I’m not smart enough to do it.”
“Everyone else gets it except me.”
“I’ll never understand this, Mum!”
I could see how wretched she felt inside — not because of the math's itself, but because of the beliefs she had started building around it.
So, we sat down. I listened, without trying to fix it straight away.
And just that — being heard, having space to express what felt so heavy — softened everything.
Then I asked, “Can l suggest something to help?"
Reluctantly, l got a "sure".
I mentioned how her dad (an engineer) would absolutely love to help her, and how brilliant he is at math's, she looked genuinely surprised. "Dad's good at math's?"
I laughed and replied "Very good at math's, he's a very clever man and he'd be delighted to help you, if you asked."
The idea that he’d want to help, that she could ask, and that she wasn’t meant to know everything, that someone so close to her could help, already seemed almost mindboggling.
From my point of view, l was just giggling that she was surprised that dad knew something like this. hahaha.
It made me reflect on how often we all do this — as adults.
𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 𝗼𝗳 𝗢𝘂𝗿 𝗜𝗻𝗻𝗲𝗿 𝗡𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲
We might not be struggling with algebra anymore, but we’re often telling ourselves similar things:
“I’m not good enough.”
“Everyone else seems to manage this better than me.”
“I can't ask for help, everyone is too busy.”
“It’s too late to change.”
These stories become our invisible barriers — shaping what we try, what we avoid, and how we see ourselves.
Our internal narrative is powerful.
It can either build us up or quietly chip away at our confidence, leaving us stuck in cycles of self-doubt and overthinking.
𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝘀𝗲 𝗦𝘁𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗙𝗿𝗼𝗺
Most of these narratives aren’t new. They’re echoes from old experiences — things we heard, moments that left an imprint, expectations we picked up without realising.
When we were younger, these beliefs may have helped us feel safe or in control. But as adults, they often become outdated stories that no longer serve us.
Just like my daughter believing she “wasn’t smart enough to do mathmatics” — it wasn’t the truth. It was a protective story her mind created to make sense of the intense discomfort she felt.
Later that evening, my daughter finally sat down with her dad for just twenty minutes.
And within that short time, something shifted. She didn’t suddenly understand everything, but she began to understand enough.
What once felt impossible started to make sense — not because the problem changed, but because she did.
Just twenty minutes outside her comfort zone, and that uncomfortable space had already reduced.
And that’s how it happens for all of us — one small moment of courage, one new story, one choice to believe something different about what’s possible.
You Are Not Your Thoughts
The voice in your head is not you.
It’s simply the echo of old patterns, fears, and memories trying to protect you.
But you have the power to rewrite those stories — to remind yourself that you are capable, deserving, and never too far gone to learn something new.
Because when we change the story, we change the energy.
And when we change the energy, we open up space for growth, connection, and confidence to return.
If you’re tired of believing the same old story, maybe it’s time to write a new one.
Mars💛
