13/10/2025
๐๐ก๐ ๐๐ญ๐จ๐ซ๐ข๐๐ฌ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐๐ฎ๐ซ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐ฏ๐๐ฌ: ๐๐จ๐ฐ ๐๐ฎ๐ซ ๐๐ง๐ง๐๐ซ ๐๐๐ซ๐ซ๐๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ๐ ๐๐จ๐ฅ๐๐ฌ ๐๐ฌ ๐๐๐๐ค
Recently, Iโve been having conversations with my daughter about asking for help.
In particular, asking for help before she becomes so completely and utterly shutdown and overwhelmed.
This last few weeks, sheโs been starting Year 8 Algebra.
And I started to notice the behavioural signs in her โ the hiding away, the avoidance of conversation, the reluctance to go to school, the big emotions bubbling up seemingly out of nowhere.
When we finally talked, the truth came spilling out through tears and frustration. She was really bloody struggling to make sense of it.
"MUM! why the hell do they use letters in Numeracy!!!" She shouted at me. I laughed to myself and thought, oh hunny, l know.
As we dug further into the conversation, I noted all the stories she was telling herself:
โIโm not smart enough to do it.โ
โEveryone else gets it except me.โ
โIโll never understand this, Mum!โ
I could see how wretched she felt inside โ not because of the math's itself, but because of the beliefs she had started building around it.
So, we sat down. I listened, without trying to fix it straight away.
And just that โ being heard, having space to express what felt so heavy โ softened everything.
Then I asked, โCan l suggest something to help?"
Reluctantly, l got a "sure".
I mentioned how her dad (an engineer) would absolutely love to help her, and how brilliant he is at math's, she looked genuinely surprised. "Dad's good at math's?"
I laughed and replied "Very good at math's, he's a very clever man and he'd be delighted to help you, if you asked."
The idea that heโd want to help, that she could ask, and that she wasnโt meant to know everything, that someone so close to her could help, already seemed almost mindboggling.
From my point of view, l was just giggling that she was surprised that dad knew something like this. hahaha.
It made me reflect on how often we all do this โ as adults.
๐ง๐ต๐ฒ ๐ฃ๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ผ๐ณ ๐ข๐๐ฟ ๐๐ป๐ป๐ฒ๐ฟ ๐ก๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐๐ฒ
We might not be struggling with algebra anymore, but weโre often telling ourselves similar things:
โIโm not good enough.โ
โEveryone else seems to manage this better than me.โ
โI can't ask for help, everyone is too busy.โ
โItโs too late to change.โ
These stories become our invisible barriers โ shaping what we try, what we avoid, and how we see ourselves.
Our internal narrative is powerful.
It can either build us up or quietly chip away at our confidence, leaving us stuck in cycles of self-doubt and overthinking.
๐ช๐ต๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฒ ๐ง๐ต๐ฒ๐๐ฒ ๐ฆ๐๐ผ๐ฟ๐ถ๐ฒ๐ ๐๐ผ๐บ๐ฒ ๐๐ฟ๐ผ๐บ
Most of these narratives arenโt new. Theyโre echoes from old experiences โ things we heard, moments that left an imprint, expectations we picked up without realising.
When we were younger, these beliefs may have helped us feel safe or in control. But as adults, they often become outdated stories that no longer serve us.
Just like my daughter believing she โwasnโt smart enough to do mathmaticsโ โ it wasnโt the truth. It was a protective story her mind created to make sense of the intense discomfort she felt.
Later that evening, my daughter finally sat down with her dad for just twenty minutes.
And within that short time, something shifted. She didnโt suddenly understand everything, but she began to understand enough.
What once felt impossible started to make sense โ not because the problem changed, but because she did.
Just twenty minutes outside her comfort zone, and that uncomfortable space had already reduced.
And thatโs how it happens for all of us โ one small moment of courage, one new story, one choice to believe something different about whatโs possible.
You Are Not Your Thoughts
The voice in your head is not you.
Itโs simply the echo of old patterns, fears, and memories trying to protect you.
But you have the power to rewrite those stories โ to remind yourself that you are capable, deserving, and never too far gone to learn something new.
Because when we change the story, we change the energy.
And when we change the energy, we open up space for growth, connection, and confidence to return.
If youโre tired of believing the same old story, maybe itโs time to write a new one.
Mars๐
