Ingrid Wells

15/02/2026

As I continue to unpack and heal from my childhood trauma, I'm gaining profound insights into the complex family systems and legacy burdens that have shaped me.

I've come to realize that the roles, behaviors, and beliefs I adopted early on were survival strategies, attempts to meet my needs and find safety in a world that often felt overwhelming.

My nervous system, wired through relationships, has been learning to respond to nurturing and threat, and through trauma and neglect, it's been stuck in survival mode. But I've discovered that I have the power to shift this narrative.

By understanding myself within the context of these systems, I've been able to shed the weights of shame, guilt, and people-pleasing that once defined me. I'm freeing myself from the parentified child and fixer roles, and embracing my true identity.


I know I'm not alone in this journey and that connecting with others, growing together, and being supported is crucial for me to fulfill my purpose - breaking the generational cycles in my family system and living a life of purpose and freedom.

04/02/2026

I work with people who are emotionally insightful, self-aware and often deeply tired.

Many of my clients have experienced emotionally immature or narcissistic relationships, childhood parentification, or long-term care giving roles - and despite "knowing all the language", still feel disconnected from themselves.

My work is slow, trauma-aware, and grounded in emotional safety rather than fixing or pushing for change.

If you (or someone you support) are navigating loss of self-trust, relational exhaustion, or the long aftermath of emotional trauma, I currently have limited capacity and welcome referrals.

Feel free to reach out if this resonates with you.

12/01/2026

04/01/2026

It's not your fault that you attract particular people into your life .....

22/12/2025

This season can be tough for many. Please remember to always take care of YOU first, then you will know how to be present for others.

The holiday season can be a time of joy, connection, and also stress. These self-compassion phrases are gentle reminders to nurture yourself during this busy time. Save this post to use whenever you need a moment to pause and reconnect with kindness. 💛

Which phrase speaks to you most? Share in the comments!

24/10/2025

I've only just started reading/listening to this book - a recommendation from my IFS therapist (www.fleurieucounsellyandwellness.com). Its another book that describes the fawning response and how people-pleasing and having sensitivity to the moods of others can be a survival response, sometimes becoming a chronic response developed in childhood as a result of complex trauma.

🌾Chapter 1 question .....

Do you know how to shed the fawn response when you don't actually need it - when you actually feel safe?

15/10/2025

Love Bombing - Do you know what you are vulnerable to? I was seeking someone who noticed how i felt, and who talked to me and made me laugh. I then ignored the Lies.

02/10/2025

The wisest parenting expert i have come across in my Family Therapist career. His training and workshops are definitely a good investment. When I am working with parents you will often hear me refer to Dr Neufeld Institute.

What happened to maturity? Gordon Neufeld explores immaturity in society, attachment, and how parents can provide the conditions for children to grow.

20/09/2025

Last week I got to sleep next to awesome Banu. It was a gift from my daughter, a once in a lifetime experience! (Jamala Wildlife Lodge - Canbera)

When I reflected back on this experience with the tiger, and remembered my feelings, behaviours, and thoughts, I realised it was similar to a couple of my relationship's over the past years.

I realised how I have been caught in the Tiger’s Illusion.

Tigers are majestic, beautiful creatures. Their markings are mesmerizing, their movements graceful, their power undeniable. To see one up close can awaken something childlike in us — an urge to reach out, to stroke its striped fur, to touch what feels both wild and gentle. It’s almost as if the tiger lures us into forgetting its nature. But the truth is: a tiger is still a predator. Beneath the beauty is danger, and the instinct to protect ourselves is there for a reason.

Narcissistic personalities can have a similar effect. On the surface, they may appear charming, playful, even vulnerable — like a tiger rolling onto its back, inviting us closer. They present themselves in ways that stir our empathy, curiosity, or longing for connection. But this display is often a camouflage. The hidden claws — manipulation, control, cruelty — remain ready beneath the surface.

The danger comes not because we are weak, but because our human hearts are wired for care. We long to connect, to soothe, to believe the “play” is real. But just as with the tiger, our desire to pet and trust can leave us wounded.

The lesson is not to harden or to live in fear, but to respect what is in front of us. A tiger can be admired from a safe distance. Its beauty is real, but so is its nature. Likewise, we can learn to see the allure of narcissistic behaviours for what they are — a powerful disguise — and choose not to step inside the cage.

The tiger is beautiful, yes. And the narcissist can appear the same. But I've learned beauty doesn't equal safety and charm doesn't equal love.

I can forgive the instinctive nature, and I can care for the welfare of the creature. I can also walk away when I realise or remember what's no longer safe.

I know I can admire the tiger from a distance - to acknowledge its magnificence without stepping inside its cage again.

11/09/2025

Have you noticed this pattern play out in your conversations with others?

09/09/2025

If you feel like you have to apologise all the time, sometimes even for your own existence, this is what fawning feels like. When speaking up for yourself feels terrifying, like facing life or death, or even feels like you are being too aggressive - fawning. Can we do this differently?

It's here!!! Ingrid Clayton's book Fawning ...a relational trauma response ..... doesn't happen in a vacuum. A MUST read if you want to understand the 4th threat response (Fight, Flight, Freeze, FAWN).

Eating my book for breakfast and can’t shout enough love out to and for making FAWNING a reality 🤗😭❤️

08/09/2025

WARNING - you may hear your story listening to this - I DID! If you would like to talk about it, please reach out. I get it!

ORDER MY NYT BESTSELLING BOOK 📖 "IT'S NOT YOU"https://smarturl.it/not-youJOIN MY HEALING PROGRAMhttps://doctor-ramani.teachable.com/p/taking-yourself-back-h...