16/11/2025
Eye 3: Focus on Client-Therapist Relationship
When you and your client sit together in a session, you create something greater than the sum of its parts: a relationship. The therapeutic relationship is created in the here-and-now by both therapist and client and, in my experience, it is the vehicle of therapeutic change. Although the quality of the relationship is often the deciding factor in the therapeutic outcome, it is nonetheless an intangible, ever-changing experience which can be difficult to describe. To help gain perspective on a therapeutic relationship, it can be useful to consider of the relationship creatively using metaphor, or by taking a perspective view of it. For example you might start by asking yourself questions such as:
If you were shipwrecked on a desert island with your client, how would you each behave?
What would you do straight away to survive?
Imagine you’ve now been on the island together for a month. How are you each behaving now?
Think about your client’s most recent session and imagine you are watching it as an observer. What do you notice about the client and counsellor?
If you were both animals, what would you be? (E.g. “I’m a cat and my client is a mouse.”)
How do you interact with each other? (E.g. “The cat is chasing the mouse! ... I think my client wants to run away from me ... I think she’s scared ... I hadn’t thought of it like that.”)
What do you imagine is the transference and counter-transference occurring in the relationship?
Thanks