https://www.amberdoddspsychology.com.au/

Amber Dodds Psychology, Brisbane (2025)

28/10/2025

🌱 Shifting out of people-pleasing

You don’t need to “stop being nice” — you need to feel safe being honest!

Try these steps:
- Notice your body’s cues.
Do you feel tension, racing thoughts, or pressure to fix something for someone?

-Pause before agreeing.
Ask: “Do I genuinely want this?” or “Am I saying yes to avoid discomfort?”

-Practice small truths.
Start with gentle honesty: “I’d love to help, but I don’t have capacity today.”

- Reassure your nervous system.
Remind yourself: “It’s safe to let others feel disappointed. I’m allowed to take up space.”

- Celebrate discomfort.
Feeling guilty means you’re breaking an old pattern, not doing something wrong.

Healing people-pleasing is about reconnecting to your truth, not abandoning your empathy.

Kindness rooted in honesty is more powerful — and more sustainable — than kindness rooted in fear. 🌿

12/09/2025

A Guide to Decoding Your Emotions 😊😲😭😤

Emotions are not random or meaningless — they act as signals, drawing attention to underlying needs, values, or experiences. When we learn to understand what emotions are communicating, we can respond with greater clarity, compassion, and intention.

Here are what some of your emotions might be telling you:

😟 Anxiety – A call for safety and reassurance
Often arises when your system senses a threat (real or imagined). It signals the need for grounding, reassurance, or a plan that restores a sense of security.

😰Fear – A call for courage and support
Alerts you to possible danger, but also points to the need for bravery, reassurance, and strategies that strengthen your sense of safety.

😩 Overwhelm – Too much, too fast, or too unclear.
Signals that demands exceed your current capacity. It calls for slowing down, creating order, and pacing yourself.

😡 Anger – A signal that a boundary has been crossed
Highlights unfairness, disrespect, or violation of values. It points to the need for protection, fairness, or assertive communication.

🫣 Guilt – Misalignment between actions and values
Arises when behaviour doesn’t align with values. It signals the need for repair, change, or letting go through forgiveness.

😳 Shame – Fear of rejection or unworthiness
A painful signal that you feel unworthy of acceptance. It calls for compassion, understanding, and safe connections that remind you of your worth.

😢 Sadness – Grieving a loss or absence
Signals that something important is missing, whether connection, meaning, or a loved one. It calls for comfort, support, and permission to grieve.

😞 Loneliness – Lack of genuine connection
Highlights the need for meaningful human contact. It points to reaching out, building relationships, and seeking belonging.

🤑 Envy/Jealousy – A signpost for growth
Shows you what you value but feel you don’t yet have. It can guide self-reflection and point toward goals or unmet desires.

😁 Joy – Needs fulfilled and meaning found
Signals that your values are being honoured and your needs are met. It invites you to savour the moment and share it with others.

15/08/2025

Your Brain Isn’t a Camera, It’s A Storyteller 📖

Your brain doesn’t take in the world exactly as it is—it interprets it. Every sight, sound, and feeling you notice is filtered through a lifetime of memories, patterns, and learned associations.

That “gut feeling” you get?
The snap judgments that pop into your mind?

They’re not direct truths—they’re your brain’s best predictions based on what’s happened before.

Some everyday examples may include:

*You see a colleague frown and instantly think they’re upset with you—when in reality, they’re just concentrating on an email.

*You hear footsteps behind you in the dark and feel danger, because your brain connects it with past times you’ve felt unsafe.

*You assume a friend is ignoring your message because they haven’t replied quickly—when really, they’re in a meeting.

Sometimes, what we expect overshadows what’s actually unfolding in front of us. Noticing when your mind is predicting instead of perceiving can open the door to more choice, flexibility, and clearer thinking.

12/08/2025

🔍 Understanding Burnout: What It Is and How It Manifests in Everyday Life
Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion resulting from prolonged and excessive stress. It affects individuals across all walks of life—not only high achievers or those in high paced careers, but also parents, students, and caregivers who continually strive to meet overwhelming demands without adequate rest.

🔍 Common Signs of Burnout in Daily Life:
* Increased irritability or frustration over minor inconveniences
* Avoidance of communication or social interactions due to feelings of depletion
* Persistent fatigue despite sufficient sleep
* Difficulty completing routine tasks or self-care activities
* Emotional numbness or detachment, leading to a sense of “going through the motions”

Recognizing these symptoms is the first step toward addressing burnout. It is important to remember that experiencing burnout is not a sign of weakness or lack of motivation. Rather, it reflects the need to prioritize self-care and seek appropriate support.
If you or someone you know is exhibiting signs of burnout, professional & psychological guidance can provide effective strategies for recovery and resilience.

31/07/2025

🧠 Mindfulness Isn’t Just Meditation — It’s Mental Clarity in Real Time.

I’ve been speaking a lot lately with clients about automatic behaviours — the small, repeated actions we barely notice but that shape how we feel day to day.

Most of what we do — eat, scroll, sip, react — happens on autopilot.

Research shows up to 50% of daily actions are habits, not conscious choices.

But here’s the good news: ✨ Mindfulness can help you see your habits more clearly — and shift them.

How to Practice Mindfulness in Daily Habits:

1. Pause Before the Habit 🛑 Before you eat, drink, scroll, or react — pause for 5–10 seconds. Ask: “Am I doing this out of hunger? Boredom? Stress? Habit?”

2. Check In With Your Body 👀 How does your body feel? Are you tense? Tired? Thirsty? Many habits (like snacking or sipping) are responses to discomfort, not need.

3 Use the “Noticing, Not Judging” Rule 🔄 When you catch yourself on autopilot, don’t criticize. Just label it: “I’m stress-eating,” or “I’m drinking out of routine.” Awareness is progress — not perfection.

4. Create 1-Minute Mindful Moments 🕐 While making coffee, washing your hands, or waiting in line — just breathe. Feel your feet. Notice your surroundings. This trains your brain to pause — even during busy days.

5. Reflect Once a Day 📝 Ask yourself: “What habit did I notice today?” Awareness builds pattern recognition — and patterns are where change begins.

✨ When you become conscious of your habits, they stop running you — and start serving you.

Mindfulness doesn’t require more time. Just more attention. That’s the beginning of real perspective shift 🕥

25/07/2025

Your Thoughts Are Not Facts 🌊 🧠

Sometimes our thoughts tell us harsh things: “You’re not good enough.”
“You always mess things up.”
“No one really cares.”

It can feel like these thoughts are true—but they’re not. Thoughts are just words your mind creates. They come and go like waves in the ocean. Some are strong, some are quiet, but none of them define who you are.

💭 A Helpful Skill: Defusion - You can learn to take a step back from your thoughts instead of getting pulled into them. You don’t have to argue with them—you just don’t have to believe them.

🌊 Try This:
1. Take a slow, deep breath. In through your nose… and out through your mouth.

2. Notice the thought. Label it: “I’m having the thought that…”

3. Picture it like a wave. Let it rise and fall—no need to fight it.

4. Refocus on what matters to you. Let your values—not your thoughts—guide your next step.

Remember: Thoughts aren’t facts. You are not your thoughts. You are the awareness behind them.

22/07/2025

Brain Hacks 🧠

Give these a try & see what differences you notice!

👂 Overwhelmed by noise or chaos?
Try: 5-5-5 Grounding
👉 Name 5 things you see
👉 5 things you hear
👉 5 things you can feel (touch)
🧠 Why it works: Brings your brain back to the here & now. Great when your kids are loud, or life feels too much.

💬 Snapping at your partner?
Try: Name it to tame it
👉 Silently label the emotion: “I feel hurt / disrespected / dismissed.”
🧠 Why it works: Helps shift your brain from reacting → reflecting.

🧊 Spiralling with anxiety?
Try: Cold therapy
👉 Splash cold water on your face or hold an ice pack to your chest
🧠 Why it works: Stimulates the vagus nerve — your body’s calming pathway.

🚶 Stuck in your head?
Try: Bilateral movement
👉 Walk, rock side-to-side, or tap your knees left-right
🧠 Why it works: Encourages your brain to process & regulate emotions. Helpful after a hard conversation.

🛌 Can’t sleep from a busy mind?
Try: 4-7-8 Breathing
👉 Inhale 4 | Hold 7 | Exhale 8
🧠 Why it works: Slows your nervous system & prepares the body for rest.

🌿 Gentle reminder
These are science-backed tools, not quick fixes. The more you practise during calm moments, the more powerful they become during tough ones!

20/07/2025

Let’s Talk About Triggers 🔁

“It’s not overreacting. It’s remembering”.

Ever felt your heart race over something “small” — like your partner’s tone, or your child slamming a door? That’s a trigger. And no, it doesn’t mean you’re broken or dramatic. It means your nervous system is reacting to something familiar, often rooted in the past.

🧠 What Is a Trigger?
A trigger is any stimulus — sound, word, facial expression, memory, or even silence — that activates an old emotional wound. It can send your nervous system into survival mode: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn… even if the current situation isn’t dangerous.

🚨 Common Examples of Triggers in Everyday Life:
* Your partner ignoring you during a disagreement ➡️ reminds your body of being dismissed or unheard as a child
* Your child shouting or crying ➡️ brings up overwhelm from a chaotic or unpredictable home growing up
* Loud noises or doors slamming ➡️ startle response from environments that didn’t feel safe
* Someone raising their voice ➡️ your body associates it with past verbal aggression or tension

These aren’t just “reactions” — they’re protective responses your body learned long ago.

🌿 The Past Shows Up in the Present
Triggers are like echoes of old pain. You might not remember the event, but your body does. When we pause with compassion and curiosity instead of shame, we can begin to respond rather than react.

💬 Gentle Reminder
Being triggered doesn’t mean you’re weak — it means you’re human. Understanding your triggers is the first step toward healing. You don’t have to do it alone. Therapy can help you make sense of what’s coming up and why.

If you can relate to this & want to know more, comment below 👇

⚠️ Note: This post talks about triggers in everyday situations. If you're experiencing abuse, your responses are not just triggers — they are valid survival instincts & support is needed.

17/07/2025

POV: You’re in an EMDR therapy session with me 🧠👀

💭 If you have any questions about this type of therapy, let me know & I’ll post more about it!

16/07/2025

🔹 Myth #1: “Talking about it will make it worse.”
Truth: Avoidance keeps the wound active. Safe, titrated processing helps the brain finally let it go.

🔹 Myth #2: “You have to remember everything to heal.”
Truth: Your body remembers, even if your mind doesn’t. EMDR therapy can work without full memory recall.

🔹 Myth #3: “If it still affects you, you’re weak.”
Truth: Ongoing symptoms are often a sign of strength—your system adapted to survive. Healing rewires that survival into safety.

🔹 Myth #4: “Only big traumas ‘count’.”
Truth: Small, repeated experiences—like neglect, criticism, or instability—can be just as impactful as single events.

🔹 Myth #5: “You just need to think more positively.”
Truth: You can’t out-think a nervous system response. Healing often starts in the body, not the mind.

🔹 Myth #6: “I should be over it by now.”
Truth: There’s no timeline for healing. Trauma impacts the brain in nonlinear ways—progress isn’t always visible, but it’s real.

🔹 Myth #7: “Crying in therapy means I’m failing.”
Truth: Emotional release is a sign of safety. Tears often signal that something important is being felt and processed.

🔹 Myth #8: “Therapy is just talking about the past.”
Truth: Good therapy helps you make sense of the past so you can live more freely in the present.

14/07/2025

Therapy: The 8 Phases Explained

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) is a powerful therapy that helps people heal from trauma, distressing memories, or stuck emotional patterns.
Here’s what the process actually involves 👇

1️⃣ History & Treatment Planning
Your therapist learns about your history, current struggles, and goals. Together, you identify the memories, experiences or themes to focus on in treatment.

🗂️ “Where have you been, and what needs healing?”

2️⃣ Preparation
You learn what EMDR is, how it works, and what to expect. Your therapist helps you build emotional resources and grounding tools.

🧘‍♀️ “We make sure you feel safe, supported, and ready.”

3️⃣ Assessment
You and your therapist identify a specific memory to target. You’ll explore the image, belief, emotions, and body sensations linked to that memory.

🔍 “What do you notice when you bring that memory to mind?”

4️⃣ Desensitisation
Using bilateral stimulation (e.g. eye movements, taps), you process the memory. The goal is to reduce the emotional charge and shift how you relate to it.

🌊 “Let your brain do the work — we’re just following the flow.”

5️⃣ Installation
You strengthen a positive belief to replace the old negative one (e.g. “I’m safe now” instead of “I’m powerless”).

🔐 “We anchor new beliefs that support your healing.”

6️⃣ Body Scan
You check for any lingering tension or distress in your body. If something remains, it can be processed further.

🌀 “Healing happens in both the mind and body.”

7️⃣ Closure
Each session ends with grounding techniques. You don’t have to leave raw or overwhelmed — your therapist supports you in re-stabilising.

🧺 “We contain what’s left and return to the present.”

8️⃣ Re-Evaluation
At your next session, you check in. Has the memory changed? Is more processing needed? Do we shift to another target?

🔄 “Healing isn’t a straight line — we go at your pace.”

14/07/2025

Boundaries Are Not Walls — They’re Doors 🚪🧠

When we talk about boundaries, many people imagine shutting others out — putting up walls, cutting people off, or being cold. But real, healthy boundaries aren’t about keeping people out — they’re about letting the right energy in and protecting your space in a kind, clear way.
Think of boundaries not as walls, but as doors. 🚪 A wall says: You can’t come in at all. A door says: You’re welcome — but please knock first.

Boundaries let us decide who gets access, when, and how. They create emotional safety, mutual respect, and space for authentic connection. Without them, even the closest relationships can start to feel draining, overwhelming, or unsafe.
🌱 Tips for Creating Healthy Boundaries with Family & Friends:

1. Start with Self-Awareness Ask yourself: What drains me? What energizes me? What do I need more or less of? Boundaries begin with understanding your own limits and values.

2. Be Clear, Not Cruel Communicate your needs directly but kindly. Try: “I love spending time with you, but I need a little space to recharge after work.” or “I’m not comfortable talking about that — let’s change the subject.”

3. Use “I” Statements Saying “I feel overwhelmed when...” rather than “You always...” keeps things grounded in your experience and reduces defensiveness.

4. Expect Some Discomfort Especially with family, setting boundaries can feel wrong at first — especially if you’ve been in a pattern of people-pleasing or overgiving. That doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you’re changing the pattern.

5. Reinforce With Actions Boundaries aren’t just things we say — they’re things we follow through on. If someone pushes your boundary, kindly restate it — and take the space you need if it continues.

💬 Remember: You are allowed to protect your peace. You are allowed to say no without guilt. You are allowed to choose how others interact with you.
Boundaries are doors — and you hold the key.

Amber Dodds Psychology

28/10/2025

12/09/2025

15/08/2025

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31/07/2025

25/07/2025

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