28/12/2025
“This is long, but worth the read because without ConTact C.A.R.E none of this would’ve been achieved not in this lifetime nor in 6 years and i know that within my whole entire being that the truth is if monkey my dog did not bring this incredible sacred tool into my life I wouldn’t have reached this point of sharing all of this with yous and how ConTact C.A.R.E has had a major part of this full embodiment of completing what I’m about to share 💜
Last but not least thank you to every single one of my clients every session with each of yous has allowed this moment to happen you all have taught me something that only that present moment has words for and for that I will be forever grateful for each and every one of yous including mentors, practitioners, students, animals and most importantly the bone 🦴 and the spiral 🌀 contraction or as known as the Flinchlock and too me the “Memory Keeper of Truth of returning home to One”
Full Embodiment Story of completing a Earth 🌏 Cycle, Returning the key 🔑 and how I didn’t need to leave my physical vessel from physically dying in Real time but instead living proof that Heaven and Earth exist here in the physical and that this is a story of not giving up even when the world that had been twisted to lead from power control force negativity hierarchy and survival had given up on you and that death was never meant to be the end but instead a return to One (1), One with all and that it can be walked in Real time, through Real time experiences in Real love 🧡 and not free survival pain and suffering or even self sacrifice.
🫏 Bethlehem 🫏
🍄 Was Never a Place It Was a State of Being 🌹
As the journey began, donkeys stepped forward to witness us quiet, present, unimpressed by story. Just like Bethlehem. Not as myth. As meaning 🌟
Bethlehem was never a spectacle.
It was humble ground.
Birth without applause.
Truth arriving without asking permission.
And that matters now more than ever.
We live in a time where awakening has been turned into performance. Where “spirituality” is often dressed up as identity, misunderstood, or labelled as delusion, spiritual psychosis, schizophrenia ADHD the list is endless as if something is wrong with you and you need to be pulled back into the so-called 3D world.
A world where the illusion and Materialism of life constantly pulls us outwards, away from the body, away from presence, away from responsibility, away from ourselves.
But awakening was never meant to take us out of life. It was meant to return us into it fully, quietly, honestly.
What integration actually looks like
Boxing Day this year did not resemble what it’s usually framed as. I turned off every layer of distortion and turned towards what was real real company, real frequencies, real living beings.
This wasn’t a ceremony.
It wasn’t a celebration.
And it wasn’t a day spent in shopping centres, on beaches, or in crowded gatherings where fiat money is exchanged for a momentary thrill a discount, a distraction called a “Boxing Day sale.”
This day wasn’t about consuming, performing, escaping, or filling space.
It was about stepping away from noise entirely choosing presence over purchase, truth over tradition, and embodiment over distraction and returning something sacred back to the land, the body, and the self.
This was completion through full-body integration, not energy work alone.
The drum didn’t summon anything mystical.
It gave the nervous system rhythm something ancient, steady, real. Something the body could entrain to without story.
And beside me stood Monkey.
Not as a symbol.
Not as a saviour.
But as companionship who’s been with me from the start as many different spirit animals here in form.
Without him, I wouldn’t be standing here writing this not metaphorically literally.
Over the past two years, my body crossed seven physical death-threshold experiences without dying. What carried me through wasn’t transcendence. It wasn’t belief. It wasn’t bypass.
It was regulated presence.
Animals don’t ask us to explain ourselves.
They don’t demand coherence before offering safety. They don’t judge fractured systems they stabilise them.
That’s why trust returned through animals first.
Not because humans are bad but because animals love without distortion.
The field told the truth
Later, I stood in a field.
Birds everywhere.
White birds. Dark birds. Rainbow birds.
Some moving. Some still.
A duck settled on the ground.
No hierarchy.
No threat.
No performance.
Just many lives sharing one field without collapse.
And that is the future we are being invited into not as an idea, but as a felt reality of what Heaven on Earth looks like when you have Faith Solidified, Integrated and Embodied 100% on all levels bone included.
Many beings can exist in one space without anyone needing to disappear.
The white birds weren’t “higher.”
They were simply visible.
Truth doesn’t dominate.
Truth doesn’t hide.
Truth doesn’t explain itself.
It simply stands.
And the duck grounded, embodied, unbothered reminded the body that safety doesn’t require flight. You don’t need to rise above life to be held by it and there sure isn’t hierarchy or distorted friendships and relationships.
What adulthood and sovereignty actually look like
This moment marked something rare I’ll always remember…..
🖤 The identity was ready to be released
🤍 The original relational field was nearby but inactive
🖤 No explanation or participation was required
That combination creates felt finality.
Not drama.
Not collapse.
Not confrontation.
Just this knowing “I can finish something without rearranging my life around it”.
That is peace.
That is adulthood.
That is sovereignty in its most ordinary and most form.
To every role that walked with me
To everyone who fulfilled their contract in that timeline, 37 years thank you 🙏
Thank you to the villains.
Thank you to the shapeshifters.
Thank you to the protectors, the betrayers, the mirrors, the distorters, the silencers, the challengers, the teachers, the ones who stayed, and the ones who left.
Thank you for playing the man-made archetypes that shaped that story.
I honour you.
I forgive you.
I set you free for me.
Thank you to Marj for standing beside me in rhythm and presence, drum to drum, moment to moment. You didn’t witness this from the outside you were in it, holding the beat, the timing, and the steadiness that allowed the body to settle and the moment to complete. Every photo carries that shared rhythm, that quiet alignment, that knowing without words. Thank you for walking this with me, exactly as it was meant to be ✨
Always my unbiological sister 👑💦👯♀️💗🔥🐦🔥👑
And there are those I thank not for the roles they played against me but for the ways they stood with me.
To the ones who were my yin to my yang,
the mirrors that balanced rather than opposed,
the flames that reflected truth without consuming it, thank you.
To Chris, for presence, steadiness, and holding ground of what safety feels like from masculine form and when words weren’t needed.
To Casey, for anchoring my higher self and the flame when it had gone out with truth through constancy, friendship, zero judgement, truth and reflection.
To the archetype Metatron not as a being outside of me, but as the inner architecture of order, clarity, and structure that helped me stay coherent when things were fragmented.
To Monkey, my guardian in primal physical form, who carried what my nervous system could not, who stayed without question, who loved without condition, and who made it possible for me to remain here in this body more than once!
To my daughter Amarlia, not as a responsibility or a role, but as Purest form of love itself. As the living reminder that life continues forward gently, truthfully, without needing to be held together by force.
To Dale Speedy, for bringing ConTact C.A.R.E into living form, free from distortion, ego, hierarchy, or control. A field built on truth, love, and acceptance, where safety within our own vessel was not taught, but embodied. An anchor not just for me, but for many others, clients, bodies, nervous systems remembering what safety feels like from the inside.
To the horse, who showed me what it means to be a living bridge between instinct and trust, strength and gentleness, fear and connection. Who met my body when illness was present and reminded it that trust can be rebuilt, even after harm. That even when hope feels thin, there will always be a soul willing to meet you again restoring trust not just in another being, but in humanity itself.
And to Gypsy, my cat 🐈⬛ back on the land in Aotearoa, in Dannevirke a quiet witness, protector, and holder of the heart. You reminded me that breasts or no breasts do not define a woman’s worth. Not who she was. Not who she is becoming. That every body is complete, whole, seen, and loved exactly as it is.
None of you were saviours.
None of you were obligations.
You were companionship.
I honour you.
I thank you.
And I release you from any role that required you to hold me.
To the ones who were my yin to my yang, the mirrors that balanced rather than opposed, the flames that reflected truth from real love without consuming it thank you.
To Chris ~ for presence, steadiness, and holding ground when words weren’t needed.
To Casey ~ for anchoring my higher selfs flame in my darkest moments through friendship, zero judgement, truth, and constancy.
To the archetype I once named Metatron not as a being outside of me, but as the inner architecture of order, clarity, and structure that helped me stay coherent when things were fragmented.
To Monkey ~ my guardian in physical form, who carried what my nervous system could not, who stayed without question, who loved without condition, and who made it possible for me to remain here in this body.
And to my daughter, Amalia not as a responsibility, not as a role, but as love itself. As the living reminder that life continues forward, gently and truthfully, without needing to be held together by force.
You were not saviours.
You were not tasks.
You were not obligations.
You were companionship.
I honour you.
I thank you.
And I release you from any role that required you to hold me.
I walk forward whole.
Because after every storm comes a rainbow.
And after every rainbow comes a new beginning.
The real awakening
Awakening isn’t about escaping the illusion of life that many people have believed I have done (from turning off all channels and choosing the channel I wont to escape too these days which is called , not drugs, not retreats, not just deep or light energy work, not personal development, not bowing to the system and stacking away the Pandora boxes or even putting on those lazor focus blurred line glasses nope, 🙂↔️ I’ve done it through pure truth , I’ve done it through remembering, I’ve done it through life or death situations, I’ve done it through some of the most distorted initiations that came through as state of emergencies and inventions, I’ve done it through choosing to heal Cancer on the deepest level possible, by drawing lines in the sand whilst staying true to myself and giving zero f% of others opinions because if they haven’t crossed the line they had crossed the line and more than once , and I’ve done it by saying to god take everything from me in this physical that doesn’t allow me to live as me or serve others from my purest form.
Because my heart and soul are here to remind others that anything is possible no matter the climb, no matter the labels, the hierarchy, the places you came from, the mistakes you made and the illusion of separation.
Nothing created by humans is permanent.
Titles. Systems. Judgements. Structures. Houses, Money they all rise and fall constantly
What is permanent is the love you hold for your pure essence and the love you are capable of holding for others, when they are in their darkest hours.
When their flame is flickering.
When death feels easier than living.
When giving up on themselves feels like relief so they will never have to burden another human again.
We live inside a collective distorted distortion one that teaches us to tear people down further into the grave instead of sitting with them.
Instead of holding them.
Instead of loving them unconditionally.
Instead of rising so you can see it from outside the box or 4 walls.
Without judgement.
Without fear.
Without projecting our own experiences, memories, or unhealed wounds onto their pain.
True love does not try to fix, label, diagnose, or escape.
True love stays.
It listens.
It holds the space steady until the light remembers how to breathe again.
And sometimes, that quiet, unwavering presence is what saves a life even if no one else ever sees it, that soul will always remember what you did and allow them to get through another round 🥊 whilst holding on to their faith that humans are not as evil as we are labeled as in the History books.
Anything is possible.
Especially when love is allowed to lead 💗
It’s about seeing it clearly without being pulled off your path by it another distraction pull off your path.
It’s about returning home to yourself:
🫶🏼 Without performance
💜 Without explanation
🫶🏼 Without needing the world to validate your truth
It’s about standing in the field, in your body, in your life and knowing you belong here as you are, whole, complete, shadow and light.
Not because you’re special but because you’re present.
That is what’s possible.
That is what’s real.
And that is the path home.
The Soul Contract & Blueprint
Before identity, roles, or survival adaptation, there was a simple, unmodified contract to arrive cleanly, live through the body, adapt without self-abandonment, and complete the arc from within life, not outside it.
This was never a contract of suffering, rescue, or transcendence.
It was a contract of presence and coherence learning to stay embodied, no matter how many attempts it took for the spirit to feel safe enough to fully land because a eagle didn’t learn to fly after one attempt did it……
To land in trust.
To land in faith.
To know, without question, that the vessel you chose for this human experience was never a mistake.
To reach a point where, no matter what was thrown at you tomorrow, your faith would remain so solid in truth that you know God would never let you fall. So you stay oriented forward.
You stay.
You listen, until the system no longer needs to signal.
The blueprint was structural, not symbolic.
Bone before belief.
Body before story.
Regulation before meaning.
Completion before expansion.
That is why integration always led, and explanation followed.
Nothing here was accidental.
Nothing was misplaced.
Every phase belonged to the same agreement.
The contract has now come to rest.
The blueprint remains intact and what needed to be lived has been fully lived not ascended from, not erased, but integrated.
Birth Record - Context, Not Story
Date of birth: 22-11-1988
Time: 01:14
Gestation: 37 weeks
Labour: ~10½ hours, normal
Delivery: normal, vertex
Analgesia: none
Apgar: strong and stable
Infant: female
Weight: 3180 g
A body that arrived cleanly, efficiently, without intervention and stabilised quickly in the world.
No drama on paper.
No crisis recorded.
No emergency narrative.
That matters.
This document represents the first moment the body entered systems.
Before language.
Before identity.
Before roles.
Before the Carrier Archetype
It’s not spiritual proof, it’s biological origin.
And that matters, because this entire post is about returning identity to zero not ascending beyond it because the body knew how to arrive.
No explanation required.
No performance required.
No justification required.
Just arrival.
How it connects to the closing theme of the last 37 years of life for me.
This isn’t about becoming something else.
It’s about ending the loop between…..
🔹 Being born into systems
🔺 Adapting to survive them
🔸Arriving into what wasn’t yours
▫️ And finally returning to presence
What came later was learned, not inherent and learned things can be laid down when we have the right Love and tools to do it.
The biological echo of 37
37 weeks gestation is medically classified as early term. It means all essential systems were developed and ready for life outside the womb.
No intervention was required because the body was sufficient.
Not rushed.
Not delayed.
Ready enough.
37 years lived equals 37 complete Earth cycles.
Formation → function → completion.
Development → adaptation → integration.
That isn’t mystical, It’s coherence.
Why vertex matters
Vertex means:
~ head-down
~ crown leading
~ chin tucked
~ body aligned for exit
It is the most stable, least traumatic position for birth.
The body entered the world facing forward, aligned, structured, and ready.
No twisting.
No force.
No resistance.
Bone → body → nervous system → identity → mind.
About doing things “back to front”
This isn’t back to front.
It’s self-referenced, not externally referenced.
Most people are taught to….
🟪 Follow templates
🟥 Compare paths
🟨 Orient by rules
🟦 Adjust ourselves to fit what already exists
I learned often by necessity to:
• Listen inwardly
• Move when something felt true
• Pause when it didn’t
• Trust your own sequencing
That doesn’t make one way better, It makes it personal.
Alignment isn’t universal, it’s individual just like nothing is coincidence everything is a Co- incident.
There is no single correct order.
No shared timeline.
No standard sequence.
What’s aligned for you is aligned because it fits your system so please always remember that.
The grounded truth
There are many ways home.
Mine works for me.
Yours works for you.
No hierarchy.
No separation.
No defence required.
Just sovereignty with belonging.
“I chose not to follow the order, control, or crowds and instead I chose to follow alignment 8years ago and break free ⛓️💥 of the glass ceiling and yup I may not have started by using the right tools but I know within my heart I have completed this timeline with the most purest ones 💜
I’m not trying to be different.
I’m not trying to be special.
I’m not trying to fight for love.
I’m simply no longer overriding myself to make others comfortable or allowing anyone to have any kind of authority over me as I am the Authorship of my life not anyone else.
And yes that is exactly how it’s meant to be.
And last but not least Please “Don’t Forget Who You Are”
This isn’t asking anyone to become more, fix themselves, or rise above life. It’s a reminder to stop abandoning what’s already here.
It speaks to the moment where identity drops away and only essence remains, when you’re no longer trying to be acceptable, impressive, healed, spiritual, strong, or understood and you’re simply real where People pleasing becomes the bottom of your heart and Self Love true self love becomes the priority the number 1 priority.
“Let the world see you raw, unmovable” isn’t defiance, it’s permission to stop bracing, not for anyone to judge you through distortion.
“Cry if it helps you heal” that isn’t weakness, it isn’t too much or too sensitive it’s called regulation.
“Go out in the Wunderlust of Nature, turn inwards, sit in stillness in peace, pure energy that only Real Love can give and be FREE from the system, free from noise, the expectations and everything else in between.
Because we are more than our skin, more than our scars, the titles, the labels, the hats we all wear, and trust me when you get to that sacred place the only thing that exists is the remembrance that we are one with all and only pure acknowledgment that pain, dis-ease, fear, distortion and even surviving doesn’t exists nor any human being having the authority to define you for being you 💋
And that light inside you will always glow, even when the world says no mirrors this arc perfectly not by staying untouched, but by staying connected.
I didn’t bypass grief, illness, loss, or confusion. I carried them and then I laid them down by returning the key 🔑
That is authenticity in its most Adult form.
And remember the saying “a galaxy of stars” well that doesn’t elevate one above another it dissolves comparison entirely. It says to me we are human, not despite it.
Not separate.
Not superior.
Not behind.
Just here.
Whole.
Enough.
Unmovable in truth, soft in presence, and finally at home.
And finally, thank you to God,
to the archangels, the spirit teams,
and to all my celestial family of souls who were taken or left too soon.
Not as figures above me,
not as forces I must answer to,
but as love remembered, presence felt, and connection honoured.
I honour you.
I back you.
I love you.
And I acknowledge the number 10 not as a sign to chase, but as a marker that quietly led me home.
Ten was never about perfection.
It was about wholeness.
A return to zero after experience.
A full cycle lived, gathered, and completed.
Every piece found, every fragment accounted for, every lesson integrated back into the body.
Ten kept bringing me back not forward into seeking, but inward into truth.
Back to simplicity.
Back to presence.
Back to the place where nothing is missing.
Back to Bethlehem, not as a location, but as origin.
As humility.
As truth without performance.
As home.
For that quiet guidance, I give thanks.
Seal of Completion
This marks completion.
Not because something dramatic ended but because nothing needs to continue.
The body has caught up with the truth.
The rhythm has settled.
The pressure has released.
What was carried no longer requires a carrier.
What was held no longer needs a holder.
What was learned no longer needs to be repeated.
I am not returning to fix, prove, rescue, explain, or relive.
I am returning with myself intact, present, ordinary, & whole nothing extra, nothing less. 🪬🔥💗🖤🌕🪽🫶🏼🌀🐦🔥🔱🔆🤍💗🔥🪬
The past is honoured without being re-entered.
The future is open without being chased.
This moment is enough.
The cycle is complete.
The identity is released.
The body is home.
And from here, I walk forward unhooked not above life, not outside it, but fully in it.
Sealed in presence at 3:33 pm on 28th December 2025.
With Love 🧡
Sa–Ra Kai’thra Phil–Laes
Ah–Rin Sol’va Teth
Un–Nah Vael Home
“Sa–Ra → essence, breath, sovereign presence
Kai’thra → Sovereign heart-fire that does not burn others
Phil–Laes → bridge between body and truth
Ah–Rin → arrival without defence
Sol’va → self-sustaining light (no extraction)
Teth → bone memory released
Un–Nah → unhooking & no longer carrying
Vael Home → returned to self/embodied belonging”
I am Home 🐦🔥
