29/01/2026
If you’ve worked with me, in any capacity, you’ve heard me talk about the brilliant work of Leah Mether. Here she is again smashing it out of the park with clear, practical communication strategies.
If you’re struggling to “Be the Grownup” check out her work.
If you want someone to practice with come see us at Arrive.
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1AkD3C6E7o/?mibextid=wwXIfro
Be the grown-up in the room.
I’m back at work properly today after school holidays at home with my three teen/pre-teen boys.
So when I talk about communicating under pressure, trust me, I’ve been living it.
Don’t get me wrong – we’ve had a great six weeks, including a week camping at Nicholson in East Gippsland and a few nights at the beach at Inverloch.
And my boys are great. Teenagers are glorious in so many ways – but jeez they’re also hard work and they sure know how to push buttons.
It’s a normal developmental phase. These are the years they’re meant to push back, challenge authority, form their own opinions, and grow.
But with my ex-husband away fighting bushfires with Forest Fire Management Victoria, it has been the boys and me for most of the break.
Three hormonal teens and one hormonal mum. What could possibly go wrong?
Now, to be fair to myself, most of the time I showed up well. I practised what I teach. I used the strategies. I communicated effectively.
But I’d be lying if I said I got it right all the time.
And it’s so easy to get sucked in – to end up behaving like the petulant child, the passive-aggressive teen, or authoritarian as***le yourself.
Maybe you’ve been there too - at home or at work.
But when you notice yourself slipping, that’s the moment to remind yourself: I’m not a child and I’m not a teenager. I’m a grown-up, and I need to behave like one.
Because what the world needs more than ever right now is more grown-ups in the room.
And here’s what I mean by that…
Being the grown-up isn’t about age, seniority, or how long you’ve been doing the job.
It’s about how you behave - especially when things get hard.
The grown-up communicates with clarity, curiosity and care. They’re courageous and kind, balancing empathy and accountability.
They regulate themselves.
They take personal responsibility.
They consider other opinions.
They speak in a way that connects.
They debate ideas without attacking people.
They make the tough decisions when they’re needed and explain the why.
They don't avoid the conversation or bulldoze their way through it.
They don’t collapse under pressure or cause damage.
They don’t try to people-please or punish.
They don’t get sucked into poor behaviour, blame, name-calling or explosions.
They’re the leader, team member, parent, or partner who puts their big person pants on and shows up well.
The grown-up stays steady when others lose their cool.
They’re the version of you that people trust when the pressure’s on.
That doesn’t mean you’re perfect or that you’ll get it right every time. Like me, you’ll still get it wrong and fall into unhelpful patterns.
But the work is to notice it, own it, and choose differently next time.
Whether you’re in a team meeting or dealing with a tantrum over toast, the rule’s the same: Don’t mirror bad behaviour. Model something better.
That’s what being the grown-up looks like.
📸 Me, acknowledging I have to choose to be the grown-up in the room too.
