04/03/2026
I have lost 15 kilograms since starting my AQF9 Master of Counselling in November. Not because it is too hard. Because I am taught and assessed on things I know harm autistic people. Yesterday, someone with the power to change that called me about this submission.
For perspective, for a neurotypical student, disagreeing with course content is an intellectual inconvenience. You note it, you write what they want, you move on.
For me, it is not that simple.
My nervous system does not easily compartmentalise. When the content being taught directly contradicts my deeply held values, my lived experience, and my clinical knowledge, every lecture, every reading, every assessment is not just academically uncomfortable. It is a sustained nervous system event.
And I am not just an autistic student disagreeing with theory. I have many, many clinical hours with autistic clients. I know, from the inside and from the work, that what I am being assessed on causes measurable harm. Being required to demonstrate competence in those frameworks, or lose marks for refusing to, is not an abstract ethical tension. It is repeated, assessed, graded exposure to something that violates my integrity at a fundamental level.
For autistic people, chronic values violation of that kind activates the same stress pathways as physical threat. The nervous system reads it as danger. Sustained danger has physiological consequences. Disrupted sleep. Disrupted appetite. Disrupted digestion. Suppressed immune function. Motivational collapse.
Fifteen kilograms is not dramatic language. It is what chronic nervous system activation without resolution does to a body over time.
I am not struggling because the content is beyond me. I am struggling because I am being required, repeatedly and formally, to perform a version of practice I know causes harm. And I have had very little power to change that, except to keep raising my hand and hoping someone listens.
Yesterday, someone listened.
I am 49 this year. I am exhausted. All I wanted was to fly under the radar, get my piece of paper, and deliver in our own practice, our Nest, the ways our clients actually need.
But here is the thing. I have spent years building The Nest. Helping neurodivergent people get clear on how their brain and body work, and then follow their dreams with that knowledge. What is the point of that, if they choose education and are met with exactly what I have been met with?
I cannot do it all. Inspired by the Australian Neurodivergent Parents Association - ANPA Kristy Forbes - Autism & ND Support Christina Keeble Consulting Heidi La Paglia: Disability Rights Advocate & Consultant NeuroWild and so many more advocates who came before me, I know I can try for the parts I am actually a part of.
There is a particular exhaustion that comes from being the canary sent into the mine shaft first. From experiencing the harm yourself, in real time, while you fight to make sure those who come after you don't have to.
I received multiple HDs. And in my assessments, where I refused to practise in ways I know cause harm to autistic clients, I have been marked down specifically for the very things I speak about in this submission. The cost has not been intellectual. It has been physical, mental and motivational.
Yesterday I had a little relieved cry.
Because the ACA called (my professional membership) and the CEO wants to meet next week. Because the people who can actually change the standards are taking this seriously.
The canary didn't die in the mine shaft (yet anyway) And now we're talking about the ventilation system.
It was worth it. It is worth it. And I needed today to remember that.
Thank you for those who continue to inspire me to keep going. As they say, I get to stand on the shoulders of giants and I am eternally grateful.
Love Tan xx
