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The Loneliness Guy

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Australia
Canberra, ACT
The Loneliness Guy

I'm on a mission to de-stigmatise gay loneliness and promote authentic connection for gay and queer men globally.

17/02/2024

It's our bittersweet final coffee.

After 90+ coffees with you over almost 4 years, this is the final coffee we'll be enjoying together in the 'Connection Over Coffee with The Loneliness Guy' podcast.

It's been an amazing experience. We've covered some real topics that affect you as you live your life as a gay man who's experiencing loneliness: your relationship to yourself, to those most important to you and to your communities.

We've had real conversations with inspiring guests. We've had quick espressos as I give you quick shots of wisdom to help you feel connected and move through your loneliness.

It's been truly wonderful and I'm so grateful to you for having me in your ears and heart over this time.

It's been such a joy to receive your feedback over the years about how the podcast has helped you feel seen and heard.

This is everything. For when you feel seen and heard, you feel that you belong. And it's sometimes very tough to be feel seen when you feel on the outer.

I want to be clear, all the episodes of the podcast will be still available to you. They're not going anywhere. The episodes join the blog and my other products and services to support you when you experience loneliness and want to learn from it to then get the connection you need.

I'll simply not be creating any more fresh content, but I'm still right here.

But here's the 'sweet' part of bittersweet.

My team and I have started something wonderful called HumansConnecting, and we’d love you to be a part of it.

Check out HumansConnecting www.humansconnecting.org

And the teaser episode of our new podcast dropped today, too. Listen to it here or watch it here on YouTube.

Remember, I know that it ALWAYS takes courage to sit with the thoughts and feelings of loneliness as a gay man. I'm here to help you sit with your loneliness and begin to listen to it, because your loneliness is trying to tell you about the connection you need.

I'm still right here at The Loneliness Guy with some fantastic services and support for you when you're ready to be challenged and inspired to get the connection you need and deserve.

Right here.

12/10/2023

Words matter. Words are powerful.

Words help us feel seen and heard. Words help us – all of us – feel connected.

It’s time that the Australia’s first peoples – the custodians of this ancient land – are recognised in Australia’s constitution and are given a voice in how decisions affecting them are made.

I’ll be voting yes in this weekend’s referendum.

If you don’t know, please take time today to inform yourself of what we’re really being asked.

Image: www.yes23.com.au

10/10/2023

Loneliness is fickle and enigmatic. Its nothingness is everything.

Loneliness is a human issue.

And we know that humans are wonderfully complex.

Loneliness affects you and I physically, emotionally, socially AND mentally.

We can perceive loneliness only as a mental health issue requiring a mental health response. If this helps get attention throughout society and raise awareness of loneliness so you know you're not alone, then let’s do it. Let’s seize the opportunity.

But we need to always keep working on ways to reach humans whose hearts and minds are experiencing loneliness in ways that don’t have us using lenses that see loneliness solely as a mental health issue.

Me and the team are here for it.

08/10/2023

Quick check-in: are you using social media or is it using you right now?

This app is an awesome tool of connection when you use it mindfully. But it’s not good for us when we use it mindlessly.

So if you’re scrolling mindlessly, what’s one thing you could do right now to help you get the connection you’re looking for?

The connection you’re looking for and deserve isn’t found at the bottom of your feed.

Image: canva.com

05/10/2023

Connection: sometimes it feels like you can’t afford it, but you can’t afford to not have it.

Are you connecting on credit?

Dinners, movies, concerts, shopping, weekends away.

It feels like if you’ll miss out and no one will invite you if you’re not keeping up with everyone, right?

The irony is that doing connection on credit can often feed your loneliness.

Is it time to connect in ways that you can afford? What does that call you to do?

Image: canva.com

01/10/2023

Is money a bit tight?

Do you feel that you’re missing out on doing connection with other people or treating yourself because you don’t have the budget for it?

You’re not alone.

The great thing about connection is that is doesn’t have to cost anything. You can get the benefits of feeling connected with your friends without the need to go out for dinner and drinks, have a weekend away or go to the concert.

But it feels like advertising wants you to believe differently; that you need to have and do everything to feel connected and feel worthy of that connection.

How do you connect with yourself, with those most important to you and to your community on a budget?

Image: canva.com

28/09/2023

It’s often weird initiating new connections. These new connections may not turn out to be your besties/your crew/your tribe/your people.

But they may well turn out to be all of these - and more.

You never know until you embrace the weirdness.

And spending time with other humans – with friends – who see YOU and hear YOU give you the sense of belonging that nourishes your soul.

And the great thing is when you are a place for other humans to feel seen and heard, they feel that they belong with you, too.

Soul-nourishing connection, all around. What a win!

Image: canva.com

24/09/2023

Yep, putting yourself out there to meet people and, perhaps, to make new friends is always weird.

Remember: it’s weird and awkward for everyone.

In my experience, other humans are so grateful for someone to have initiated the contact and bid for connection that they’ll be so relieved to have met a lovely, genuine, caring and beautiful human like you.

Embrace the awkward and the weird feelings. Dive in.

Image: canva.com

21/09/2023

Change can be unsettling. Change can be scary. Change can be daunting.

You can fight it. You can wish things were back to how they were.

It doesn’t have to be this way.

Navigating changes in you life is easier – but not always easy – when you feel authentically connected to your self, to those most important to you and to your communities.

Image: canva.com

17/09/2023

Humans experience loneliness during times of change in their lives.

Knowing this, what would you want to know about loneliness and how to use it to feel the connection you need and deserve?

What do you want to know so you could navigate times of change AND feel connected?

I’d love to know!

Image: canva.com

14/09/2023

There are very good reasons why we wear masks when we’re out in the world. The world can feel hostile and very scary – especially if you feel different to the norm.

My masks kept me safe from the bad judgement I feared in the hope that I’d receive the good judgement I craved. My masks got me through tough moments, but they become the sources of my deep loneliness.

The world around me connected with the masks I wore. The connection I got from others didn’t feel like it was for me because it didn’t pe*****te beyond the masks.

I didn’t know who ‘the real me’ was behind the masks. I was terrified and so very lonely.

The connection I needed – and deserved – happened when I took off my masks and allowed me to see myself and allowed others to see me.

It’s time to take off your mask. Your mask is for you to take off, but you never need to take it off alone.

12/09/2023

The masks you wear protect you from judgement. They keep you safe.

But wear them too long and they become your prison and feed your loneliness.

10/09/2023

How are you showing up in the world today?

Are you amping yourself up so you appear bigger, better and more awesome than you feel you are?

Are you dialling yourself down – dimming your light – so others feel more comfortable around you?

It’s exhausting editing ourselves to fit in, isn’t it? We never quite nail it.

Showing up in the world in any other way but as you are, right now, in your glorious human messed-up awesomeness is exhausting.

And it ABSOLUTELY feeds your loneliness.

Be you today. Let us connect with you. Let yourself connect with you.

You’re worthy of that.

08/09/2023

Do you also do food prep on weekends?

Well, we’re cooking up something amazing for you here at The Loneliness Guy. There’ll not be any new episodes of the podcast while we’re doing that.

Never fear! There’s SO MUCH great content for you in the 71 previous episodes of Connection over Coffee with The Loneliness Guy at www.thelonelinessguy.com/podcast and wherever you get your pods.

Or, if you prefer to watch, check out the YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsDg2pbHT7iv205CYVnTxHA.

06/09/2023

While there are infinite reasons why humans feel lonely, I give the top three reasons why the humans in your audience feel lonely.

I offer realistic steps for individuals, groups and society to take step beyond loneliness towards the connection we all need with our authentic selves, those most important to us and with our communities.

This keynote – like all of them – injects humanity into how we collectively respond to the global loneliness problem because they come from me and my experience of loneliness.

My keynotes, talks and presentation pivot conversations and conferences about loneliness from talking about the concept – the problem to be solved – to impactful conversations about a human experience that every human has.

Go to www.thelonelinessguy.com/speaking and let’s discuss how ‘Three reasons why humans are lonely’ can support, inspire and lovingly challenge your audience.

05/09/2023

You’ve gotta practice your connection skills if you’re going to feel that beautiful connection you’ve been looking for.

Like any skill, it takes time, practice, learning from the hits AND the misses and all while celebrating your courageous awesomeness along the way.

Right now is a great time to get started.

Join me for ‘Ep. 73 – Are you starving reading a cookbook?’ now at www.thelonelinessguy.com/podcast and wherever you get your pods.

You can also join me on YouTube at https://youtu.be/hZRtK8mLLSY.

Come and get that quick shot of connection goodness.

04/09/2023

A good cook is not made when they collect all the cookbooks but does nothing with their contents. They’re a well-informed potential cook who starves.

A good cook is made when they see a recipe, tries it and then, over time, begin adds their own take to the food they prepare.

My friend, when in comes to getting the authentic connection you need and deserve, are you buying all the books and gathering all the information? Are you still at risk of socially starving even after reading and listening?

If you are, it’s time to make a mess and create your connections.

Join me for ‘Ep. 73 – Are you starving reading a cookbook?’ now at www.thelonelinessguy.com/podcast and wherever you get your pods.

You can also join me on YouTube at https://youtu.be/hZRtK8mLLSY.

Come and get that quick shot of connection goodness.

Address

Canberra, ACT
2600

Opening Hours

Monday	8am - 5pm
Tuesday	8am - 6pm
Wednesday	8am - 6pm
Thursday	8am - 6pm
Friday	8am - 6pm
Saturday	8am - 6pm
Sunday	8am - 6pm

Website

http://www.thelonelinessguy.com/

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About The Loneliness Guy

I'm Phil. I’m gay and I get lonely. I realised that I was lonely a few years ago. I was lonely despite looking like I was anything but. I was surrounded by a loving family, lots of friends and I had a successful career. And yet, there I was, feeling alone, frustrated, lost and adrift in my life.

With lots of support and help, I worked through the reasons for my loneliness - including working through my sexuality and what it meant for me and for those most important to me in my life. I now see that so many men - including gay men - are also lonely.

But no one talks about it, until now.

I'm working to de-stigmatise loneliness and promote authentic connection for gay men.