21/02/2026
Mum Guilt Expanded
Today I am reflecting on mum guilt and how common it is for mums to feel guilty when taking time out for themselves.
I think mum guilt in reverse is a feeling of our attachment to our little ones shifting inward but that inward turn is so unfamiliar it feels wrong on some level when it should be accepted and used as a guide to saying yes to yourself.
I have been shown that guilt, when experienced functionally, is a quiet message of us saying yes to ourselves not a sign that we are doing something we shouldn’t be doing.
Quite often mums can feel guilty when they are doing something that is not for the family.
Unfortunately this is more of a ‘normal’ way mums approach motherhood than not.
If we could normalise mums taking time for themselves and filling their own cup first , not only would they feel better but the family benefits too.
There is a saying about not being able to pour from an empty cup. I believe this is true.
This spreads wider than just motherhood and can be associated with work, relationships, friendships, any area of life where we are doing with others. If we overdo, we can eventually become burnt out.
We have no energy to give and in some cases we can get unwell.
What if we were all to give to ourselves first responsibly and to account for ourself?
We would feel different yes? And what if by giving to yourself first you create more
Respect, value and consideration in the outside world
Because you are giving these things to yoirself . You are respecting your needs. It’s not selfish.
No one is really taught how to do this. We learn through lived experience
and sometimes we have to go though this so we can feel what it’s like to have burnout and start taking care of ourselves as best we can.
I believe that guilt is a pathway to connection to the self and not a song of wrongdoing.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this and where you get stuck? Is it with yourself? Kids? Partner? Friends? Work?
Ebony