I was reminded last week by a client that we had been working together for more than 10 years.
Within the last 10 years, how many friends and work colleagues have you won and lost?
Think about those who have been with you for 10 years or more.
These people must be giving you stability, consistency and helping grow as a person.
What about those who are no longer in contact with you? Perhaps they served their purpose at that particular time, or in fact they were not helping you grow as a person.
Having someone in you life for a long period of time, who is purely focused on making you a better, healthy person, I believe is invaluable.
There are three basic time-based relationships.
Lifegiving - 1 Hour - 1 Year
You meet someone who has an impact on your life for a short period of time i.e Conference speaker, Barista, Short term Therapist.
LifeLong - Birth to Death
Usually a family member or friend. They will either bury you or you will bury them.
You either love them or hate them.
Purposeful - 1 year to 30 years
These people serve a purpose to you at different stages of your life.
They are usually people you can rely on.
They come into and out of your life, and you pickup right where you left off last time.
All these relationships are important. Most relationships in your life will be Lifegiving. Fleeting meetings that will change your life at that time.
You can’t do much about LifeLong relationships, they usually end in tears and heartache.
Purposeful relationships mould you into the character you are today. Within this context, people are able to see you change and grow and they will be a part of this process.
And equally, you are part of them changing and growing over time.
Having said all this, what is our relationship as it stands right now?
Are we LifeGiving, LifeLong or Purposeful?
Let’s discount LifeLong, because I try not to treat family.
Of course we start at Lifegiving, but my aim is to be purposeful, because this is when real change takes place.
I can’t list all the purposeful relationships I have at the moment, however, I want to list those who have been in my life for more than 10 years.
The people listed below I have been seeing for ten or more years. Some regularly, some not so regular, but they know I’m there if they need advice to move forward into the next stage of their life.
I apologise if I have missed anyone, but obviously I have not seen you for a while.
Phoenix
Mel
James
Ian
Paula
Fiona
Tony
Aminya
Bonny
Catherine
Suyi
Lorna
Steph
Yago
Lee
Josephine
Peter
Colleen
Helen
Elizabeth
Lyn
Terry
Sandra
Darren
Mia
Margaret
Kerry
Sarah
Glenn
Kirsty
Please let me know where we are at the moment. I have many many 5+ year purposeful relationships. Are we there yet?
Daniel O
