28/02/2022
As I drove home tonight, after helping a friend with her kids and food prep, I can't help but wonder where did our village go, and how have we not yet made the connection between that disappearance and the rising rate of perinatal mental health issues?
In Australia, it is beleived that one in five women, and one in ten men, will experience depression, anxiety or both during pregnancy and the first 12 months after birth. On top of this, post natal psychosis is thought to affect 2 in every 1,000 women during their perinatal period. Those numbers are absolutely terrifying and I'm not ashamed to admit that I am part of those statistics.
The funny thing is that, as the "village" our parents and grandparents speak about weakens, the prevalence of these mental health issues increase.
The village has disappeared because of societal and cost of living pressures. Our parents are working longer to ensure their financial stability during retirement, which means their availability for our generation to lean on for support has decreased. Women are being forced back to work sooner due to the rising cost of living, which means our motherhood peers are no longer available for support. Mothers groups have been wiped due to covid. Our village has been decimated.
We feel the expectation to manage alone, with our head held high and a smile on our dile because we so often hear the all to common "well when I had you". We feel pressured into being the picture-perfect, crunchy, gentle parenting, home grown and home cooked organic mother, whilst also being judged because we aren't working and providing an income for our household. Yet if we go back to work we are accused of letting others raise our children and being selfish.
No matter what we do we can't win. Society's answer to this epidemic? Go see your GP and take this medication.
Now in no way am I anti medication. In the right circumstances, and with additional assistance to support long term change, medication is a great helping hand. But we can't just shove antidepressants down the throats of fellow mothers and fathers, without addressing the root cause of their issues and then expect this issue to resolve itself.
My hand on heart beleif is that if we were to actively bring back the village, these frightening numbers would drop.
Reaching out, and accepting help, is hard. But it's nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, it's the bravest thing you'll ever do. It's inspiring and it shows people around you that it's ok not to be ok. It's our responsibility to actively change society's beliefs around seeking help.
And if creating that village is just not possible, then doulas are always there to assist and help.
It's up to us to stop the cycle.
It's up to us to recreate the village.
It's up to us to be the village we would want for ourselves.
