27/01/2026
Quick question: How regulated were you this morning?
Before you asked your child to get dressed, pack their bag, or "just calm down," how was your nervous system doing?
Most of us don't think about it. We expect our children to regulate themselves while we're running on empty, rushing through the morning, or still carrying yesterday's stress.
Here's the truth: children can't regulate in isolation. They borrow calm from us. And when we have none to give, they feel that too.
This isn't about being a perfect parent. It's about understanding that regulation is relational.
When your child melts down after school, it's not always about what happened at school. Sometimes, they've been holding it together all day, and you're the safe place where they finally fall apart.
So what helps?
πΉ Match their energy, then slow it down. Meet them where they are before asking them to come to where you need them to be.
πΉ Name what you see. "Your body looks like it's working really hard right now" gives them language for what they're feeling.
πΉ Offer what grounds them. Deep pressure. Movement. A quiet space. What soothes one child might overwhelm another.
πΉ Tend to your own nervous system first. You can't pour from an empty cup, and your child is watching how you handle your own big feelings.
The cycle starts with us. Not because we're doing it wrong, but because we're the adults in the room.
What's one thing you do to regulate yourself before helping your child? We'd genuinely love to know.
π§ info@graceot.com.au
π 1300 760 779