Stephanie Butler MFT PLLC

Stephanie Butler MFT PLLC Cactus Wren Family Therapy provides effective and accesible therapy to people of all ages.

31/01/2026

Many young adults struggle to name ge***al parts correctly, but those who can tend to have better sexual outcomes. A new study finds links between anatomical vocabulary, sexual satisfaction, and confidence.

Feel it...don't FEED it.You can feel frustration without feeding it. Acknowledge your feelings, then shift your energy b...
30/01/2026

Feel it...don't FEED it.

You can feel frustration without feeding it. Acknowledge your feelings, then shift your energy before it spills onto your child. What spills from you spreads to them. Then it just gets messy and clean up can be painful.

Say, "I am feeling frustrated. I can handle it. I just need a moment." (Then take some space.)
REsist building the mental stories that intensify the frustration. "He never listens!" "He's going to be in jail if he keeps this up." "He's trying to p**s me off." Whatever story robs you of your patience for your child and your compassion - put an end to that. Find a different story.
"I can be enough calm for both of us." "He needs something I am not currently providing." "He's still learning, and I am the teacher."

This skill can be a tough one. Reach out to us here at Cactus Wren for some help! Don't waste another day not enjoying your teen!

Anchor yourself firstIn hard moments, you're hte ANCHOR, not the wave. The steadier you stay, the more they'll borrow yo...
29/01/2026

Anchor yourself first

In hard moments, you're hte ANCHOR, not the wave. The steadier you stay, the more they'll borrow your calm. Likewise, if their feelings disrupt your calm - the boat often capsizes. Sometimes, we discover the fact that we don't know how to find our own calm when our kids hit puberty. This is a learned skill not a personality trait! If you want some help, check out the link the bio and set up an appointment!

They're not you and that is good!Your child's wiring, needs, and timeline are different than yours. Respecting their uni...
28/01/2026

They're not you and that is good!

Your child's wiring, needs, and timeline are different than yours. Respecting their uniqueness deepens connection and trust. One of the greatest gifts in the life of a parent is the privelage to get to know your children. Don't assume, stay curious!
Who are they? Who are they becoming? What are they learning? What "essence" do they bring to your family?

Trust builds faster than control.Rules without relationship lead to rebellion!Lasting influence comes from trust, not fe...
27/01/2026

Trust builds faster than control.
Rules without relationship lead to rebellion!

Lasting influence comes from trust, not fear. Control might create short-term compliance, but trust creates life-long connection. If you want your kids to consider you someone they WANT an opinion from, you have to earn it.

Compassion is CLARITY!Compassion isn't soft or indulgent. It's what allows you to see the whole picture clearly and resp...
26/01/2026

Compassion is CLARITY!
Compassion isn't soft or indulgent. It's what allows you to see the whole picture clearly and respond with wisdom.

We all remember the intense feelings that came with puberty. What your kids really long for is to be seen and understood. You can be firm and compassionate at the same time. You can sit with them in their "feels" and still hold appropriate boundaries. If you're struggling in this area, come chat with Andrew and he'll help you out! See the link in our bio!

Do the thing, even when it's boring!So much of parenting teens is about connection. It's about them knowing you think th...
23/01/2026

Do the thing, even when it's boring!
So much of parenting teens is about connection. It's about them knowing you think they are interesting and amazing. Sometimes, the thing is NOT your thing. Do it anyways. Watch the Youtube. Get curious. Don't judge. Find out what THEY enjoy about it!

Motivation is optional. Consistency matters more than hype, inspiration or mood.

If it's not working...switch strategies.Persistence is good, but stuck is not the same as strong. Be willing to pivot!Wh...
22/01/2026

If it's not working...switch strategies.
Persistence is good, but stuck is not the same as strong. Be willing to pivot!

Where do you feel stuck as a parent? What skills do you feel you are lacking? That thing your teen does that drives you INSANE...Could it be something you need more skills to address? Sometimes a neutral party is all it takes to get the train back on the track. Check out our services at the link in our bio for more help!

Feeling stuck in the same arguments with your teen? I think we all have fallen into the trap of believing it is our teen...
15/01/2026

Feeling stuck in the same arguments with your teen? I think we all have fallen into the trap of believing it is our teens' job to solve the communication problems in our relationship...."If only they...."
In any dynamic, the only thing you control is you - your words, your tone, your approach, your perceptions and your assumptions.
Try small communication shifts:
1) Assume the best
2) Remember they are still learning and do NOT have all the skills they need to do this well (show don't tell, model don't direct)
3) Even when they are pushing you away, EVERY teen longs for belonging and acceptance. How can you make sure your teen knows they have that even when you're disappointed in them?
These tools can quickly reduce household tension and, over time, rebuild trust and closeness. This guidance comes from a faith-friendly, integrative mental health practice serving Chandler, AZ, committed to resilient relational care. Ready to start? Learn more: https://wix.to/b15zDk0 🙏💬

Feeling distant from your teen? Some of that is normal, but not all of it. There is a way to form meaningful and enjoyab...
14/01/2026

Feeling distant from your teen? Some of that is normal, but not all of it. There is a way to form meaningful and enjoyable connection with your teens. This begins with honoring their desire for autonomy and individuality. Try and view their desire for individuation as a desire to be more themselves and not an attempt to be less connected with you. It is helpful to view yourself as an outsider who is looking for an invitation to their world. What could you do to get that invitation?
The second most helpful thing to connection with your kids is ritual. Friday nights are movie nights. Sundays are church/family days. Saturdays are hiking days. What are the rituals of your home? What built in habits could you or have you created where connection can happen. Research has also shown that these rituals help reduce anxiety and depression in teens - that a win/win!

Feeling overwhelmed when tensions rise with your teen? Try these one-minute practices rooted in and integrated DBT/Polyv...
13/01/2026

Feeling overwhelmed when tensions rise with your teen? Try these one-minute practices rooted in and integrated DBT/Polyvagal approach: 1) Pause and breathe: take a slow minute to model calm breathing 2) Ask them "Help me understand what you're feeling..." or "It seems like you're frustrated..." 3) Offer a choice: give two simple, respectful options to restore connection/mutual respect.
Visit our website (link in bio) for information on how to make an appointment. 🙏💬

Raising interdependent teens means guiding them to solve problems with your support—not doing everything for them. Try c...
12/01/2026

Raising interdependent teens means guiding them to solve problems with your support—not doing everything for them. Try coaching: ask what options they see, help weigh consequences, and praise effort to preserve dignity and build confidence. Our integrative care helps strengthen resilience in our children and establish lasting connection. Families near 2241 East Pecos Road, Chandler — learn how we can help. https://wix.to/ongYnbD

Address

2241 E Pecos Road
Chandler, WA
85225

Opening Hours

Tuesday 6am - 11:30am
Wednesday 6am - 11:30am
Thursday 6am - 11:30am

Telephone

+14807014535

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