Olive Branch Counselling

28/01/2025

A very gentle reminder. Trauma is not about 'the event', or the experiences we may have had, or not had. It is 100% about our RESPONSES to those experiences.... look to the many adaptations, schemas, habits, illnesses, belief systems, attachment patterns, body moves, 'people-pleasing' behaviors, perfectionism, avoidances - strategies called by many names: "parts", defenses, addictions, complexes - so beautifully created to 'cope' with those responses, and often created in a split second to quite literally Stay Alive.🎯
It's quite a 'body of work' when you think about it!

So give yourself 'credit', and a megadose of self-compassion.

'Healing' is easier said than done, don't let anyone tell you otherwise,
but healing most assuredly can be done. If it wasn't possible we humans would have died out long ago! Remember that. 🙏

07/10/2023

17/05/2022

Parents report that labeling a child’s emotions often backfires. Why is it that merely placing a label on a child’s emotions can make them even more agitated?

11/05/2022

An addiction to the hit we get from pleasing people is one of the hardest addictions to recover from. Think about it: you can’t remove the source of your addiction in this case.​​​​​​​​
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Every single day we have countless opportunities to engage with other people—in the grocery store line, in our homes, at church, school, or work. Every single day we have to figure out how to distinguish between kindness and people pleasing.​​​​​​​​
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It’s not easy. Sometimes the behaviors look the same.​​​​​​​​
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As you start to heal, pay attention to your inner motives. Take a deep breath and get curious:​​​​​​​​
—Am I acting out of guilt?​​​​​​​​
—Am I acting compulsively (I can't get myself to stop)?​​​​​​​​
—Am I scared about what they will think or how they will respond?​​​​​​​​
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Then take some time to notice your inner resources:​​​​​​​​
—Am I calm and reasonably grounded?​​​​​​​​
—Do I have capacity for this?​​​​​​​​
—Do I sense a calling to enter in?​​​​​​​​
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Remember the best way to be kind to someone else is to show up with intention.

01/04/2022

🙌 which is your love language? Understanding our partners or child’s love language can help us love those around us in meaningful heart felt ways! Resulting in greater intimacy and connection in relationships.

{SMILE} ☕️

30/03/2022

🌻🌿🌼❤️‍🩹

If you choose to Face Everything and Rise, a CCAA counsellor can help and support you on that journey. https://findacounsellor.org.au

24/02/2022

This a a wonderful approach to looking at the emotion of Anger.

You need your anger. It helps you detect boundary violations, injustices, and cruelty. It tells you something is not right. Anger is closely linked to pain. You need it to survive. Anger can become an incredible ally that helps you stand up for yourself and for other people. We see Jesus use anger in powerful ways.​​​​​​​​
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However, problems arise when you haven't been taught how to harness anger's power effectively. For example, maybe you've been taught that it's bad. You may have tried to bury it. But, it doesn't go away. Instead, it festers in dark, hidden places in your soul, where it grows into bitterness or resentment. Or, it might turn its wrath on you—blaming you for the pain you have experienced or witnessed.​​​​​​​​
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That's why it is so crucial to get curious about your anger and learn to understand it. Where does anger show up in your body? What's an early memory of it? What messages were you taught or shown about anger in your family?​​​​​​​​
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If you've experienced trauma, anger might be protecting you from deep wells of pain. If that's the case, please seek help from a trained professional to help you carefully unpack it.​​​​​​​​
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I pray you will learn to understand and make friends with your anger in partnership with God. As you learn to make friends with your anger, it softens. It trusts that you will take its cue, that you will stop silencing it. It will let you take the lead and harness its power effectively, instead of dragging you headlong into trouble. ​​​​​​​​
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For more on turning emotions into allies, see my book Boundaries for Your Soul.

09/02/2022