Neurokinnection

05/11/2025

The holistic s*x education and relationship coverage we never had access to for Autistic and ADHD individuals with vulvas!

Pleasure Principles: Back to Basics Webinar

An AuDHD-friendly webinar with Lil Desille (Clinical Psych and Sexologist) & Freya Graf (The L***a Lounge)

When: Wednesday 10th of December 2025 @ 7.00pm, melbourne/sydney time

Where: Zoom (camera optional, you dictate how you participate)

Who is this for?: Neurodivergent folks with vulvas (AuDHD-inclusive), partners/allies, curious clinicians

Length: 90 mins ~

Investment: Sliding Scale options available Replay: Yes (captioned), recorded with 30 days viewable playback.

Why join?

If pleasure feels confusing, pressured, or just… not happening, this is your enthusiastic invite to participate! We’ll strip it back to the basics, with neuroaffirming tools and strategies that you can use solo or with a partner. No performance, no perfection, no shame, and instead meeting you with self-compassion.

You’ll learn:

What pleasure actually is (beyond or**sm) and why it supports regulation & connection

How to map your sensory profile to find what feels good

Consent made simple: micro-scripts and supported communication for s*xual intimacy.

Desire styles and how to remove the pressure

Easy solo-to-partnered bridges: tiny experiments you may want to explore

Accessibility & vibes

•⁠ ⁠Camera optional and captions on

•⁠ ⁠Stims welcomed and encouraged

• Content in short chunks with breaks for regulation

•⁠ ⁠Inclusive neuroaffirming language, sensory and social communication strategies

•⁠ ⁠FREE downloadable worksheets/resources (from both Freya and Lil both)

•⁠ ⁠Transcript + 30 day replay!

Your hosts

Lil Desille (she/they) – Clinical Psychologist, neuroaffirming s*xologist

Freya Graf (she/her) – Pleasure educator & host of “The L***a Lounge”

This does not replace therapy or medical advice, but is a community-oriented webinar for the Autistic and ADHD vulva-pleasure, curious humans! Please choose what feels right for your body and boundaries.

Tickets in bio 🔗 🥰

23/10/2025

This one might have a bit of a bitter taste in your mouth. This extension of grace is to people who have the positionality within the world right now, to make the greatest deal of impact and change. I am open to respectful debate, but will not be responding to people who are wanting to troll or argue unnecessarily. Thanks ❤️

22/10/2025

What is the Take-care e-package? A small bundle of FREE, accessible resources from online that you can access with a desktop or phone (so long as you have internet access) to support yourself when things get rough. Use this resource for yourself when things feel tough, or even if you are feeling a little bit lost. It is not a “fix-all” but it definitely is a wonderful toolkit to have when the world is hard.

This includes links to websites and resources including: visual, auditory, tactile, meditative, mindfulness, good news in the world, animals on live streams, music playlists etc. ❤️

I made this post because I have been sitting on this resource now for several years, which I made for some friends back in the day when I had a Tumblr account. However, I have since adapted it and developed it to include more relevant and new resources too. I know it is tough out there for our community and the world, and we all deserve some care. I am hoping that this can bring some sense of ease.

If you are an allied health clinician, please do not use this item for your business. This is my IP and I am tired of my work being taken and spread to others without the financial labour considerations. Ideally, just link your clients to my resource section please. ❤️ LINK IN BIO

15/10/2025

This poem is called "Attention is currency". Look, it's A LITTLE BIT POLITICAL BUT ITS SATIRE AND ITS EXPRESSION AND WE CANT ALL TAKE LIFE SO SERIOUSLY. But also, it's a commentary that's somewhat ironic being posted on a social platform. It's 5 mins long, so if I have your attention for the entire duration, I'll be proud.

Curious about your thoughts?

13/10/2025

We somehow expect apologies to come naturally, and I am not sure why that is. So many of us have had to apologise for being Autistic or ADHD, and have paid the consequences for our mere existence. Add your own [intersectional complexity here], and then all of a sudden, the apology for our existence becomes even more significant.

And so we began to apologise so frequently, the art of apology has died. It is not to say that I do not believe apologies can be genuine, but that I believe after years of conditioning, our apologies are often rooted in the narrative we are taught “say sorry when you do something wrong”. There is no after thought or deeper consideration as to what was done, not because we did not mean it - but because we have been taught to always be sorry.

Love language ND credit to OG

But do you know the styles of apologies that you actually need or like or seek out with repair? I didn’t know there were apology languages until I heard of love languages including: Expressing Regret; Accepting responsibility; Making restitution; Genuinely repenting/reparations; and Requesting forgiveness. But for some reason, in my head, I don’t feel like these are fully applicable to neurodivergents. I will still argue that yes, they all matter and they all vary with how they are received.

Much like the love languages, I think some ND love needs weaving in. Some examples I have made (YES MY OWN!), so if you steal it - credit it. TA! Because this is some OG written stuff ❣️✨

1. Acknowledging impact

2. Explaining our actions

3. Collaborative action prevention

4. Reimbursement of effort

5. Reflecting an understanding of why we are upset

Since I began thinking more about apologies, I felt that the ones I came up with were far more apt. It also allowed me to be more conscious about the way I want to apologise and learn about my loved ones 💓💕🥰

08/10/2025

Next on: Water is wet 🌊

The UK’s Cass Review contains “striking” internal contradictions, methodological problems and ethical flaws, according to a newly published academic article in The Medical Journal of Australia.

The article - authored by multiple clinicians and researchers - found that Australia’s healthcare for trans young people and those questioning their gender is recognised internationally as best practice.

The Cass Review has been criticised globally, so this new research offers a fresh perspective of how Australia’s holistic model for gender affirming care supports young people and their families to navigate their gender journey.

07/10/2025

Self-pleasure in front of mirrors can be a really fun (but confronting) task. Have you ever given this a go? It is definitely not for the faint-hearted, but it is also definitely worth a try if you are open to it. Mirror self-pleasure (solo or partnered) uses a mirror to explore arousal, body curiosity, and connection. It also does require a level of vulnerability and meeting yourself in truth and all of the naked vulnerability that follows.
It is also a great tool for exploration for a few different areas:
Interoception & presence: noticing breath, tension, temperature, micro-pleasures.
Body neutrality: shifting from “how I look” to “what I feel.” BUT also looking at yourself by observing, not judging.
Communication: learning to read your own cues, check pacing, and notice your reactions.
Visual feedback: visual feedback can reduce ambiguity and increase predictability.And then you can start… no s*xual starts needed either honestly. Start with curiosity if s*xual pleasure feels too fast. Self-pleasure can be sensual, and does not always require you to be s*xual.

Go at the pace that feels best for you.
❤️

07/10/2025

This is a FREE DIY template of a “course syllabus”, where you can fill in the blanks surrounding things you would like to learn about, are inspired by or are curious to engage with. It includes a template to see how you can format it, as well as a more blank slate for yourself. This resource was inspired by an idea that has been observed on social media around ‘self-care’ acts and inspiring ourselves to learn even outside of institutions. It is to motivate and encourage creativity, moments of joy and community connection. This is also great for Autistic ADHD’ers who feel inspired when they write out to-do lists, or for an extra dopamine hit of things they plan! I have been struggling with the news lately but enjoyed the feeling of stepping into what is in my control and I thought it would be nice to pay it forward to those in need of a bit of hope ❤️

Elements within include:

- DIY your course title name
- Create a course overview and assigned percentages for tasks
- What to bring and expectations list (self-written)
-Units of study (include the topics you want to learn about)
- Serviceberry actions (how you want to show up in the world)
- Self-care and nourishment priorities
- Monthly assigned readings/audio books for learning
- Priority list of tasks to complete by end of year ❤️

07/10/2025

Once we are in long-term relationships, it can be hard for us to consciously step into these spaces. Often, ruptures a lot easier to rise to the surface because we forget these things. The three G's is just a simple way to remember how to support your relationship maintenance over time. 1. Grace, 2. Grain of Salt, 3. Gratitude.❤️❤️ I made this post because I actually mentioned this in session recently, and then condensed it into three key words for ease and utility in remembering.

I made this resource just as a little reminder of the ways we can maintain our healthy partnerships, when we are in the maintenance phase journey. Also a big shout out to , my hg, who helped me whip up some consistent slides with my posts I have made to make my life easier for resource creation.

Please note: This is generic information and advice and does not replace individualised therapeutic care.

07/10/2025

I'm so so excited for tomorrow. Hope to see you there lovely humans ❣️

01/10/2025

I'm so so excited to be doing this one! Would love for you to join! It's free and we are talking all things sensuallllittyyyy 💓🎉

🌱 Thriving Autistically 2025: Day 5-Session 2
Reclaiming Sensuality with Annelil Desille of Neurokinnection

Lil will lead an experiential session focused on gently exploring sensuality and opening to the joy of unmasking pleasure.

This session is crafted to support late-identified Autistics particularly those who experience difficulty tapping into pleasure. Supported by the group container, we will engage in sensory experiments to find ways to gently elicit and evoke sensory pleasure.

Think of this as:
– PG 13+ version of glimmers where we feel into and connect with our bodies.
-Mini-bites of pleasure-in the current chaos-how can we take back the joy a little-its an vital part of radical community care.

Gentle Intensity Disclaimer: If incredibly sensitive to self touch or experience high levels of dissociation, this group experience may not be for you.
Engaging with the workbook might be a less intense option.
However this being said, the exercises will be at an introductory level and participation is completely voluntary.

Autistic Women & Gender diverse session exclusively.

Free Resource: NK-Alchemy: Self Reflection exercises booklet

Bring along:
-blanket
-hot beverage makings (cacao, coffee, tea etc-there will be a ‘making’ exercise)
-Incense, candle, lotion, oil etc. A smell that is safe and comforting.
-Writing materials to capture emergent words and images if that would be helpful
-Dance will be involved (5 min-camera on or off)
-Bring your own song for dancing and

Lil will create playlist to capture our experience to revisit

Register directly: https://neurokindred.com/reclaiming-sensuality/

TA2025 whole program: https://neurokindred.com/thrivingautistically25/

When:
AUS Wednesday Oct 8th (daylight savings)
9.30-10.30am AEST (Brisbane)
10-11am ACDT (Adelaide)
10.30am-11.30am AEDT (Syd/Melb/TAS)
7.30-8.30am AWST (Perth)

UK
Wednesday Oct 8th
12.30-1.30am BST

US
US Tuesday Oct 7th
7.30-8.30pm EDT

29/09/2025

Very excited for this next week 😁

🌱Thriving Autistically is a FREE 100% online Wellbeing Event for Autistic Adults.
This event centres Lived Experience and Connection to Neurokin through play, social justice, experiential spaces, peer support, discussion & SpIns.
7 days (Oct 4-10)
46 Events
53 Autistic volunteer facilitators
19 Sponsors
300+ Pre-registered
900+ event registrations so far

Register here (can change timezone): https://neurokindred.com/thrivingautistically25/

Some event highlights (open group max unless noted)

Day 1: Saturday 4th Oct
KPop Demon Hunters Discussion & Carpool Karaoke-Michael Keady Counselling with Mike - The Nerd Therapist, Linda , Karen K, Jade & Kahlia Sherman 6-7pm (Brisbane-AEST)

Map of Monotropic Experiences: Autistic Culture Study Hub Launch - Helen Edgar Helen Autistic Realms - 7-8pm (Brisbane-AEST)

Day 2: Sunday 5th Oct
Inciting Autistic Wellbeing: Healing & Unmasking through BDSM-Dr Simone Kolysh -11-12.30pm (Brisbane AEST)

Constructing Autistic Wellbeing (collage)-Rae Sabine Creating Wellbeing Melbourne-1-2pm (Brisbane-AEST) (3spaces)

Niche, Neglected, Neurocomplex, Naughty. Noxious, iNnovative & Nefarious Cauldrons (info-dump X speed dating)-Jess Jones DotJess 4-5.30pm (Brisbane-AEST)

The Complexity of Unmasking Safely - Jade Farrington - Counsellor and Therapist & Kieran Rose The Autistic Advocate 7.30-9.30pm (Brisbane-AEST)

Day 3: Monday 6th Oct
Autistic Social Entrepreneurship-
Dr Sharon Zivkovic -4-5pm (Brisbane-AEST)

Fidgeting Autustic Wellbeing-Jo and Kai Seymon of Kaiko Fidgets Aus-5-6pm (Brisbane-AEST)

Creating Safe Spaces for Autistic People – Laura Hellfeld Laura Hellfeld Neurodivergent Nurse Consulting, Scott Neilson Autistically Scott & Helen Edgar Thriving Autistic 10:30am - 11:30am (BST) 7.30-8.30 (Brisbane AEST)

Autistic Professional Artists Unite-Karen M. Andersen (Brisbane AEST)

Day 4 Tuesday 7th Oct
Self Compassion Alumni Panel-Melody Edwardson Wellbeing Wise, Gabrielle Hall, Deb Hunter & Special Guest Dr Ru Ying Cai-6-7.30pm (Brisbane-AEST)

Meet the Author Lounge -David Gray-Hammond, MCMA, AP APM -7-8.30pm (Brisbane-AEST)

Day 4: Wednesday 8th Oct
Reclaiming Sensuality: Annelil Desille Neurokinnection-9.30-10.30am (Brisbane-AEST) (9 spaces)

Autistic Substance Use Network: Research Discussion- David Gray-Hammond Emergent Divergence: The neurodivergent ramblings of David Gray-Hammond, Katie Munday Autistic and living the dream & Tanya Adkin- 11am-12.30pm (BST)

Day 6: Thursday 9th Oct
Burnout & Brilliance: Reconnecting with our Values as Twice/Multiply Exceptional Adults-Caitlin Hughes Cathartic Collaborations-10.30-11.30am (Brisbane AEST)

Narrative Approach to Career Development-Kory Sherland Autie Talk- 2-3pm (Brisbane AEST)

F@ck the Patriarchy: How one’s Unmasking is connected to liberation for Autistic people-Dr Simone Kolysh Defiant Life Coaching -7-8.30pm (Brisbane AEST)

Day 7 Friday 10th Oct
No One is Coming: On Aging, Autism and the Quiet Terror We Don’t Talk About- Bridgette Hamstead & KJ Wiseheart 7-8am (Brisbane AEST)

International Autistic Issues-Helen Said 8-9am (Brisbane-AEST)

Synaesthesia Online Rave (Charles Clapshaw AR Artist) & Closing Ceremony (Jacqui O’Neill Sound Artist & Musician) 6.30-7.45pm (Brisbane-AEST)