Neurokinnection

02/01/2026

I made this post because I have been doing some research in my spare time to support my continued development of knowledge in the field. I often enjoy deep diving into my special interests whenever I have the opportunity to do so. The research I have done is not overly extensive by any means, but has supported the facilitation and deepened understanding of what I see in the therapy room.

One of the most common difficulties I see within relationship work that I do, is related to the implicit ableism and lateral ableism that occur within mixed-neurotype partnerships. When my partners get to learn more about their respective neurotypes, it allows them to better support one another in the process. Knowledge is a privilege, and unfortunately the literature is still scarce in its NDA affirming lens. With more dedication to this space, I am sure there will be some awesome findings that allow us to support our fellow Autistic and ADHD relationships.

Some additional thoughts: the literature often seems to be repeating a recurrent theme, which is looking at Autism and ADHD as separate, despite the large percentage of overlap in neurotype sharing. By default, much of the research may be limited as a result of bias and stigma that prevents us from seeing the ‘full picture’ of what difficulties and differences are really linked to what neurotype.

Please note: This is generic information and advice and does not replace individualised therapeutic care. If you have concerns around your relationship, it is always recommended that you consult with a health professional for more specific consultation advice. ❤️ Also happy new year homies.

23/12/2025

In relationships involving Autistic and ADHD individuals, assumptions and intentions hold significant weight. By prioritising clarification and understanding intentions, partners can enhance their communication, strengthen their bond, and create a more harmonious and empathetic relationship environment. Remember, assumptions can be misleading, but with intentional communication, our partnerships can be set up for success. Clarifying assumptions before forming judgements about a partner's intentions can support our overall communication. It opens opportunities for us to express our intentions clearly, which may also support with reducing distrust and conflict.
Clarification also encourages explicit communication (ahem, something many of us as Autistic/ADHD'ers really do need), reducing the need and emotional labour to decipher implicit or hidden messages. It encourages accountability and helps us to unlearn our own unhelpful patterns, which fundamentally supports our relational healing journeys too (and for so many of us, there is a lot of micro-trauma work that exists). ❤️

23/12/2025

Had a really incredible podcast episode with the wonderful and amazing .zoe about ND families and maintaining intimacy under the executive load that comes with parenting/caregiving. I thoroughly enjoyed having this chat, and have been without many spoons to share unfortunately. However, now I have some before the end of the year and I wanted to make sure I share it. Link is in my story and bio if you are keen to hear more

23/12/2025

2025 Wrap-up and Moving into 2026 Theme: Intentional Alignment. Wishing you all a happy holiday season, surrounded by loved ones, fur babies or SPIN's that inspire you ❤️

23/12/2025

I made this post because I myself have noticed my own concerns increasing over the last few weeks about the state of the world. I myself, have noticed my own dysregulation being easily activated when watching the news, especially in light of both the NT and QLD government making a complete joke of care surrounding Trans care, but also the NDIS giving no f***s about our Disabled community. I am grieving for my Trans community right now and the lack of safety for them. Further, I am grieving amidst the horrific Bondi Anti-Semitic attack that occurred, impacting Jewish community members but also Muslim community members who have been both directly and indirectly targeted by proxy. I am grieving the atrocities from overseas, in Congo, Sudan, Palestine, Gaza, the US, the UK and more - noticing the parallels that impact us here too. I wanted to make one final post before the new year.

Please note: This is generic information and advice and does not replace individualised therapeutic care. If you have concerns around your relationship, it is always recommended that you consult with a health professional for more specific consultation advice.❤️ See you in the new year, as I will be leaving insta until 2026.

04/12/2025

holiday szn is tricky. But diy and f**k the rules.

27/11/2025

TLDR: Quick hack is to specify urgency of the support you are requesting from a partner. A partner who may be a slower processor, or that isn't aware of the time sensitive nature of your request, is likely to miss the mark. If you've not communicated time preferences, it is important to be explicit.

This is generalised information and does not replace individualised support and therapeutic advice. Please consult with an allied health clinician, if you are requiring more support in your partnership.

24/11/2025

My absolute favourite part of therapy is when partners are on the same page without even realising!

You would be surprised how often this can happen 💓🎉

24/11/2025

A great training opportunity for anyone wanting to upskill their gaming therapy Counselling with Mike - The Nerd Therapist doing great work! 💓🥰

I'm offering Black Friday Sale for Minecraft Therapy Training! Join me to learn the fundamentals of Minecraft and its therapeutic application!

A neurodiversity affirming framework is part of the core of this training opportunity, based on five years of practice with the autistic community.

I've put a variable sale pricing up on Humanitix! Choose your discount based on your needs!

Monday December 8th, 9am-1pm
33-50% off!

https://events.humanitix.com/therapeutic-minecraft-training-sale

15/11/2025

So..what is embodiment?

Embodiment is the representation or expression of something in a tangible or visible form; it is the congruence and alignment across mind, body and self-oriented reflection and actions (Lundh & Foster, 2024). Where we see mismatched words and actions, it is a cue of incongruence or disharmony across our minds, bodies and, self-oriented actions and reflections (Legrand, 2011).

It is NOT a bad thing! This cue supports how we differentiate what resonates with us and what does not, and can guide us to what feels more aligned.

For many Autistic and ADHD individuals, we have a history of being taught to suppress, minimise and deny our experiences and truth (Hanai, et al., 2024). This can make it hard for us, particularly with the added pressure of interoception differences and alexithymia (Heaton, 2012). What this means is we may not be able to determine what “feels” right or wrong for us, or we may follow the rules that others set for us, without questioning whether or not we actually agree or resonate with it.

When we learn to understand what resonates with us, we become more connected and increase our sense of fulfilment and life satisfaction (Cooper, 2022). This is the least that we owe to ourselves as Autistic/ADHD’ers.❤️

05/11/2025

The holistic s*x education and relationship coverage we never had access to for Autistic and ADHD individuals with vulvas!

Pleasure Principles: Back to Basics Webinar

An AuDHD-friendly webinar with Lil Desille (Clinical Psych and Sexologist) & Freya Graf (The L***a Lounge)

When: Wednesday 10th of December 2025 @ 7.00pm, melbourne/sydney time

Where: Zoom (camera optional, you dictate how you participate)

Who is this for?: Neurodivergent folks with vulvas (AuDHD-inclusive), partners/allies, curious clinicians

Length: 90 mins ~

Investment: Sliding Scale options available Replay: Yes (captioned), recorded with 30 days viewable playback.

Why join?

If pleasure feels confusing, pressured, or just… not happening, this is your enthusiastic invite to participate! We’ll strip it back to the basics, with neuroaffirming tools and strategies that you can use solo or with a partner. No performance, no perfection, no shame, and instead meeting you with self-compassion.

You’ll learn:

What pleasure actually is (beyond or**sm) and why it supports regulation & connection

How to map your sensory profile to find what feels good

Consent made simple: micro-scripts and supported communication for s*xual intimacy.

Desire styles and how to remove the pressure

Easy solo-to-partnered bridges: tiny experiments you may want to explore

Accessibility & vibes

•⁠ ⁠Camera optional and captions on

•⁠ ⁠Stims welcomed and encouraged

• Content in short chunks with breaks for regulation

•⁠ ⁠Inclusive neuroaffirming language, sensory and social communication strategies

•⁠ ⁠FREE downloadable worksheets/resources (from both Freya and Lil both)

•⁠ ⁠Transcript + 30 day replay!

Your hosts

Lil Desille (she/they) – Clinical Psychologist, neuroaffirming s*xologist

Freya Graf (she/her) – Pleasure educator & host of “The L***a Lounge”

This does not replace therapy or medical advice, but is a community-oriented webinar for the Autistic and ADHD vulva-pleasure, curious humans! Please choose what feels right for your body and boundaries.

Tickets in bio 🔗 🥰

23/10/2025

This one might have a bit of a bitter taste in your mouth. This extension of grace is to people who have the positionality within the world right now, to make the greatest deal of impact and change. I am open to respectful debate, but will not be responding to people who are wanting to troll or argue unnecessarily. Thanks ❤️