Neurokinnection

27/11/2025

TLDR: Quick hack is to specify urgency of the support you are requesting from a partner. A partner who may be a slower processor, or that isn't aware of the time sensitive nature of your request, is likely to miss the mark. If you've not communicated time preferences, it is important to be explicit.

This is generalised information and does not replace individualised support and therapeutic advice. Please consult with an allied health clinician, if you are requiring more support in your partnership.

24/11/2025

My absolute favourite part of therapy is when partners are on the same page without even realising!

You would be surprised how often this can happen 💓🎉

24/11/2025

A great training opportunity for anyone wanting to upskill their gaming therapy Counselling with Mike - The Nerd Therapist doing great work! 💓🥰

I'm offering Black Friday Sale for Minecraft Therapy Training! Join me to learn the fundamentals of Minecraft and its therapeutic application!

A neurodiversity affirming framework is part of the core of this training opportunity, based on five years of practice with the autistic community.

I've put a variable sale pricing up on Humanitix! Choose your discount based on your needs!

Monday December 8th, 9am-1pm
33-50% off!

https://events.humanitix.com/therapeutic-minecraft-training-sale

15/11/2025

So..what is embodiment?

Embodiment is the representation or expression of something in a tangible or visible form; it is the congruence and alignment across mind, body and self-oriented reflection and actions (Lundh & Foster, 2024). Where we see mismatched words and actions, it is a cue of incongruence or disharmony across our minds, bodies and, self-oriented actions and reflections (Legrand, 2011).

It is NOT a bad thing! This cue supports how we differentiate what resonates with us and what does not, and can guide us to what feels more aligned.

For many Autistic and ADHD individuals, we have a history of being taught to suppress, minimise and deny our experiences and truth (Hanai, et al., 2024). This can make it hard for us, particularly with the added pressure of interoception differences and alexithymia (Heaton, 2012). What this means is we may not be able to determine what “feels” right or wrong for us, or we may follow the rules that others set for us, without questioning whether or not we actually agree or resonate with it.

When we learn to understand what resonates with us, we become more connected and increase our sense of fulfilment and life satisfaction (Cooper, 2022). This is the least that we owe to ourselves as Autistic/ADHD’ers.❤️

05/11/2025

The holistic s*x education and relationship coverage we never had access to for Autistic and ADHD individuals with vulvas!

Pleasure Principles: Back to Basics Webinar

An AuDHD-friendly webinar with Lil Desille (Clinical Psych and Sexologist) & Freya Graf (The L***a Lounge)

When: Wednesday 10th of December 2025 @ 7.00pm, melbourne/sydney time

Where: Zoom (camera optional, you dictate how you participate)

Who is this for?: Neurodivergent folks with vulvas (AuDHD-inclusive), partners/allies, curious clinicians

Length: 90 mins ~

Investment: Sliding Scale options available Replay: Yes (captioned), recorded with 30 days viewable playback.

Why join?

If pleasure feels confusing, pressured, or just… not happening, this is your enthusiastic invite to participate! We’ll strip it back to the basics, with neuroaffirming tools and strategies that you can use solo or with a partner. No performance, no perfection, no shame, and instead meeting you with self-compassion.

You’ll learn:

What pleasure actually is (beyond or**sm) and why it supports regulation & connection

How to map your sensory profile to find what feels good

Consent made simple: micro-scripts and supported communication for s*xual intimacy.

Desire styles and how to remove the pressure

Easy solo-to-partnered bridges: tiny experiments you may want to explore

Accessibility & vibes

•⁠ ⁠Camera optional and captions on

•⁠ ⁠Stims welcomed and encouraged

• Content in short chunks with breaks for regulation

•⁠ ⁠Inclusive neuroaffirming language, sensory and social communication strategies

•⁠ ⁠FREE downloadable worksheets/resources (from both Freya and Lil both)

•⁠ ⁠Transcript + 30 day replay!

Your hosts

Lil Desille (she/they) – Clinical Psychologist, neuroaffirming s*xologist

Freya Graf (she/her) – Pleasure educator & host of “The L***a Lounge”

This does not replace therapy or medical advice, but is a community-oriented webinar for the Autistic and ADHD vulva-pleasure, curious humans! Please choose what feels right for your body and boundaries.

Tickets in bio 🔗 🥰

23/10/2025

This one might have a bit of a bitter taste in your mouth. This extension of grace is to people who have the positionality within the world right now, to make the greatest deal of impact and change. I am open to respectful debate, but will not be responding to people who are wanting to troll or argue unnecessarily. Thanks ❤️

22/10/2025

What is the Take-care e-package? A small bundle of FREE, accessible resources from online that you can access with a desktop or phone (so long as you have internet access) to support yourself when things get rough. Use this resource for yourself when things feel tough, or even if you are feeling a little bit lost. It is not a “fix-all” but it definitely is a wonderful toolkit to have when the world is hard.

This includes links to websites and resources including: visual, auditory, tactile, meditative, mindfulness, good news in the world, animals on live streams, music playlists etc. ❤️

I made this post because I have been sitting on this resource now for several years, which I made for some friends back in the day when I had a Tumblr account. However, I have since adapted it and developed it to include more relevant and new resources too. I know it is tough out there for our community and the world, and we all deserve some care. I am hoping that this can bring some sense of ease.

If you are an allied health clinician, please do not use this item for your business. This is my IP and I am tired of my work being taken and spread to others without the financial labour considerations. Ideally, just link your clients to my resource section please. ❤️ LINK IN BIO

15/10/2025

This poem is called "Attention is currency". Look, it's A LITTLE BIT POLITICAL BUT ITS SATIRE AND ITS EXPRESSION AND WE CANT ALL TAKE LIFE SO SERIOUSLY. But also, it's a commentary that's somewhat ironic being posted on a social platform. It's 5 mins long, so if I have your attention for the entire duration, I'll be proud.

Curious about your thoughts?

13/10/2025

We somehow expect apologies to come naturally, and I am not sure why that is. So many of us have had to apologise for being Autistic or ADHD, and have paid the consequences for our mere existence. Add your own [intersectional complexity here], and then all of a sudden, the apology for our existence becomes even more significant.

And so we began to apologise so frequently, the art of apology has died. It is not to say that I do not believe apologies can be genuine, but that I believe after years of conditioning, our apologies are often rooted in the narrative we are taught “say sorry when you do something wrong”. There is no after thought or deeper consideration as to what was done, not because we did not mean it - but because we have been taught to always be sorry.

Love language ND credit to OG

But do you know the styles of apologies that you actually need or like or seek out with repair? I didn’t know there were apology languages until I heard of love languages including: Expressing Regret; Accepting responsibility; Making restitution; Genuinely repenting/reparations; and Requesting forgiveness. But for some reason, in my head, I don’t feel like these are fully applicable to neurodivergents. I will still argue that yes, they all matter and they all vary with how they are received.

Much like the love languages, I think some ND love needs weaving in. Some examples I have made (YES MY OWN!), so if you steal it - credit it. TA! Because this is some OG written stuff ❣️✨

1. Acknowledging impact

2. Explaining our actions

3. Collaborative action prevention

4. Reimbursement of effort

5. Reflecting an understanding of why we are upset

Since I began thinking more about apologies, I felt that the ones I came up with were far more apt. It also allowed me to be more conscious about the way I want to apologise and learn about my loved ones 💓💕🥰

08/10/2025

Next on: Water is wet 🌊

The UK’s Cass Review contains “striking” internal contradictions, methodological problems and ethical flaws, according to a newly published academic article in The Medical Journal of Australia.

The article - authored by multiple clinicians and researchers - found that Australia’s healthcare for trans young people and those questioning their gender is recognised internationally as best practice.

The Cass Review has been criticised globally, so this new research offers a fresh perspective of how Australia’s holistic model for gender affirming care supports young people and their families to navigate their gender journey.

07/10/2025

Self-pleasure in front of mirrors can be a really fun (but confronting) task. Have you ever given this a go? It is definitely not for the faint-hearted, but it is also definitely worth a try if you are open to it. Mirror self-pleasure (solo or partnered) uses a mirror to explore arousal, body curiosity, and connection. It also does require a level of vulnerability and meeting yourself in truth and all of the naked vulnerability that follows.
It is also a great tool for exploration for a few different areas:
Interoception & presence: noticing breath, tension, temperature, micro-pleasures.
Body neutrality: shifting from “how I look” to “what I feel.” BUT also looking at yourself by observing, not judging.
Communication: learning to read your own cues, check pacing, and notice your reactions.
Visual feedback: visual feedback can reduce ambiguity and increase predictability.And then you can start… no s*xual starts needed either honestly. Start with curiosity if s*xual pleasure feels too fast. Self-pleasure can be sensual, and does not always require you to be s*xual.

Go at the pace that feels best for you.
❤️

07/10/2025

This is a FREE DIY template of a “course syllabus”, where you can fill in the blanks surrounding things you would like to learn about, are inspired by or are curious to engage with. It includes a template to see how you can format it, as well as a more blank slate for yourself. This resource was inspired by an idea that has been observed on social media around ‘self-care’ acts and inspiring ourselves to learn even outside of institutions. It is to motivate and encourage creativity, moments of joy and community connection. This is also great for Autistic ADHD’ers who feel inspired when they write out to-do lists, or for an extra dopamine hit of things they plan! I have been struggling with the news lately but enjoyed the feeling of stepping into what is in my control and I thought it would be nice to pay it forward to those in need of a bit of hope ❤️

Elements within include:

- DIY your course title name
- Create a course overview and assigned percentages for tasks
- What to bring and expectations list (self-written)
-Units of study (include the topics you want to learn about)
- Serviceberry actions (how you want to show up in the world)
- Self-care and nourishment priorities
- Monthly assigned readings/audio books for learning
- Priority list of tasks to complete by end of year ❤️