http://www.petrabaumgarttherapist.com/

Petra Baumgart - PsychoChange Therapist, Cooran (2026)

22/02/2026

Grateful files ‘26 - vol. 8

Good health, fond memories, patience, manifestation, creation, possibilities.

21/02/2026

Look, anyone watching MAFS can pick Bec for a being an insecure girl. Would you say the same about someone like Gia? I would.

Insecurities show up differently for different people. We’ll use these two as two great examples.

Bec - she has a constant need for validation and reassurance, she’s incredibly jealous and potentially possessive, we don’t see it too much on the show but id guess she self criticises often and harshly and probably has an underlying issue with feeling unlovable or ‘good enough’. She also ‘shape shifts’ depending on the crowd she’s with - a weak trait to have btw.

Now, Gia - just because someone comes across as outwardly confident doesn’t mean they aren’t riddled with insecurities. Firstly, she’s constantly talking about how ‘hot’ she is - seeking validation, she constantly puts others down, offers backhanded compliments and makes jokes at other people’s expense. She’s jealous and very defensive, very telling signs for someone who’s insecure. I’d even suggest how she presents herself in a physical way is to compensate for insecurities.

Gia admitted she was bullied at school and of course that’s the precursor to being insecure. Deep emotional work needs to be done to rid yourself from that, unfortunately the external modifications don’t remove that kind of pain.

Anyway, I just think it’s interesting to think about. It’s also important to remember when someone is truly secure with themselves they aren’t vile, hurtful humans to others - that’s a walking, talking insecure red flag.

MAFS recaps can be found on my Facie page and my petition to have me added to the experts couch 😄.

Daily I work with people around improving behaviours and insecurities are a regular thing on the roster. You can become more secure, it makes you a much nicer human. Married At First Sight Australia

20/02/2026

Are you still hanging onto an unresolved argument from 5 years ago? The cool (s**t) thing about resentment is it hurts you (and your relationship) more than resolution ever would.

Resentment is widely regarded as one of the most destructive forces in close relationships — often more damaging than outright anger or frequent arguments. While anger tends to be explosive and temporary, resentment is a slow, chronic buildup of bitterness, hurt, and perceived unfairness that quietly poisons the emotional foundation of a partnership.

Here’s how it typically becomes a major cause of relationship breakdown:

It starts small and accumulates unnoticed -
Resentment rarely begins with dramatic betrayals. It usually grows from repeated, smaller grievances:
💔Unmet needs or expectations (e.g., one partner consistently handles more emotional labor, housework, or parenting)
💔Feeling dismissed, unappreciated, or unheard
💔Perceived imbalances or injustices ("I'm always the one compromising")
💔Unresolved hurts that get brushed aside instead of repaired

Because these issues often feel "too small" to fight about, people swallow them — but swallowed hurt doesn’t disappear; it festers.

It transforms perception (Negative Sentiment Override)
Accumulated resentment creates a filter: almost everything the partner says or does gets interpreted negatively.
💔A neutral comment sounds like criticism.
💔A kind gesture feels manipulative or insincere.
💔Small annoyances trigger disproportionate reactions.

It destroys emotional safety and connection
Over time resentment creates:
💔Emotional walls (people stop sharing vulnerable feelings to avoid being hurt again)
💔Erosion of trust ("If they don’t care about my feelings, why should I trust them?")
💔Loss of intimacy and fondness (partners stop seeing each other as allies)
💔Chronic stress, anxiety, and even physical health impacts from suppressed bitterness

The relationship shifts from "us vs. the problem" to "me vs. you." Not great.

It becomes very hard to reverse without deliberate repair -
Because resentment feels **justified** ("They did this to me"), people cling to it as a form of self-protection. Letting go can feel like excusing bad behavior.
Yet the longer it festers, the more it rewires the brain to expect the worst from the partner → making positive change feel impossible or unsafe.

In short: resentment doesn’t usually cause dramatic explosions that end relationships overnight. It causes slow suffocation— a gradual death of warmth, trust, goodwill, and hope. By the time most couples realise how much damage has occurred, the emotional bank account is deeply overdrawn, and separation often feels like the only remaining path to relief.

The antidote isn’t suppressing anger — it’s preventing small hurts from turning into long-held grudges through timely, honest repair, mutual accountability, and consistent demonstrations of care and fairness. When those repair attempts stop happening, resentment quietly takes over as the dominant story of the relationship.

Side note - Contempt is basically resentment that has hardened into superiority + disgust ("I’m better than you" / eye-rolling, sarcasm, mockery). Once contempt becomes habitual, genuine repair becomes extremely difficult.

I work with couples often to overcome things like resentment, hugely beneficial for everyone involved 🤍.

20/02/2026

Ladies and gents, some of you may know I had some issues with Meta some time ago. Messaging is still a slight issue. If you can’t get me on here email is best
petrabaumgarttherapist@gmail.com

18/02/2026

MAFS recap - second dinner party and intimacy week.

One word - train wreck 🙃. We predicted it though, didn’t we.

Ok, where to start? Steve, let’s start with Steve. What a do**he. Rumour is he wanted a younger bride, I very much feel he may have wanted a male bride. Maybe being in the closet has made him angry. The worrying thing about Steve and people like him is his complete lack of self awareness or empathy. Rebecca is way better off without him.

Quick touch on Luke and Mel. The turn around from Mel has been huge, they still aren’t a good match. Luke needs someone more genuine, I’m sure he won’t struggle post show.

I really don’t like to give a lot of energy to yuck energy but this week highlighted a lot of that. Namely, Brook and Gia. Goes to prove you can look a certain way and be considered ‘pretty’ and be rotten to the core which overshadows everything - yuck!

So many things on this pair. Egging each other on their obvious jealously for Stella along with the venom they spit - foul. When I’m an expert, I simply won’t allow it. I’ll be at the dinner party and ripping them out of there - that behaviour is never ok. Foul!

Gia is a mum of a daughter and what a wonderful role model she is 🤮.

Grayson and Danny were the only two who tried to get them to pipe down. By rights everyone should’ve just got up and let the witches to it. Pulling Danny into the s**t was an obvious move and like seriously, who cares if Gia is his normal type 🤷‍♂️ isn’t that the point of the show?! Bec is still greatly insecure and now siding with the mean girls too - foul.

There’s so much. Alyssa and David - lovely couple copping far too much hate from the bitch squad.

Rachel and Steve - my bet is Steve may be a virgin, I think he may just need to be honest about his experience and that’ll take the pressure off.

Honestly and self awareness is key here dudes, very few have it. Married At First Sight Australia

18/02/2026

At one point of my life, I was a journalist. It was a pretty fun time and I got to do some pretty cool things. In that same period of time, I was in the early stages of an emotionally abusive relationship and I had no idea what was ahead of me.

I loved my job as a journo, I was lucky enough to be able to be the editor of a local mens magazine, test drive cars and write reviews for the drive mag and write articles for food features - everything I’d ever dreamed of, at the time. I use to dress up in corporate attire and clip clop between interviews in heels. Turns out, all of those things my then partner began to despise.

After a very quick honeymoon period he started to let me know how irrationally uncomfortable he was with my job, heavy on the irrational which he was completely unaware of. His discomfort began to make me uncomfortable, on purpose.

It wasn’t long and his move to isolate me (which I didn’t pick up on then but allowed at the time) took place. He’d arranged a ‘family home’ for us to live in the small mining town he was working in, which was 4 hours away from my job. The Editor of the paper allowed me to work freelance in the role, so I packed up my daughter and I and headed west to start this next phase.

The next phase turned into a real life nightmare pretty quickly. Within days of the move he dialled up the control, the verbal abuse and the emotional torment. It became clear that his idea of ‘family’ was very different to mine. I stayed because I thought I could help him, I thought I had a chance to soften him and show him he could live differently to the violent, aggressive life he’d always lived. I was so wrong, he was hell bent on remaining the same and had every intention of dragging me down with him.

Before the relationship ended, I had to give up my job at the paper. He didn’t want me working anymore and it’s crazy to think how difficult he made it. I gave up my career and my dreams and my high heels.

The relationship got worse.

Months later I got the strength to leave, I knew he wasn’t going to change and our safety was at risk if we stayed.

I’ve learned many things since. Something I know for sure is someone else is completely capable of robbing you of yourself and your dreams - if you let them. I also know that you are completely capable of rebuilding both. I’m living proof and I’m here to help men and women who want to do the same.

16/02/2026

Do you feel like you’re ’not good enough’? Or do you have similar feelings around not being deserving/worthy/loveable?

It’s a very common issues I see with clients. Our belief systems can keep us very stuck but, they don’t have to.

It’s also something that may not be front of mind but your actions indicate you’re tied to a limiting belief. It can show up in how you treat yourself, how you speak to yourself, your lack of confidence or motivation, your relationships etc.

When I was mistreating my body, I wasn’t constantly thinking “I’m not worthy of food or rest” and I hadn’t thought about it that way until a therapist pointed it out.

Anyway, there’s a way past it. Firstly, stop generalising then find a good therapist to help you break down that limiting belief.

15/02/2026

Grateful files ‘26 - vol 7.

9 years of Dal, celebration, help, support, home, great hairdresser skills 🙃, good sleep.

14/02/2026

Valentine’s Day just happens to be mine and Dal’s anniversary. This year we celebrate 9 years together. Like many relationships we’ve experienced some major highs and some major lows. There’s been a lot of learning and patience 🙃 along the way. Here’s a few things I’ve picked up -

1. You can’t change your partner (and they can’t change you).
People only evolve when *they* want to. Trying to “fix” someone leads to resentment. The healthier path is accepting core traits while gently supporting growth where both agree it's needed.

2. Communication is everything—but it’s mostly about listening, not just talking.
You discover that assuming your partner knows what you feel/think almost always backfires. Real intimacy grows from patiently explaining feelings without blame and truly hearing theirs, even when it's uncomfortable.

3. Compromise isn’t losing—it’s choosing “us” over “me”.
Long-term means accepting you won’t get your way 100% of the time. Learning to negotiate so both feel reasonably heard/satisfied becomes a core skill (and strangely satisfying when done right).

4. Individuality doesn’t disappear—you actually need it.
Healthy long-term couples learn to maintain separate hobbies, friends, and personal space. Time apart often makes the time together richer and prevents codependency.

5. Conflict is inevitable and (done well) actually healthy.
The absence of arguments isn’t harmony—it’s often avoidance. You learn that good fights involve curiosity, repair attempts, and no name-calling. They can deepen understanding rather than damage it.

6. Intimacy evolves and needs active maintenance.
The honeymoon passion fades, but deeper emotional + physical closeness can replace it—if you prioritise it. Scheduling date nights, touch, vulnerability, and sometimes even therapy becomes normal, not embarrassing.

7. Actions matter far more than words over time.
Grand promises mean little if daily behavior doesn’t match. You learn to trust consistency—how someone shows up in boring Tuesday moments reveals more than any love declaration.

8. You keep learning about yourself through them.
A long-term mirror shows your own patterns, triggers, insecurities, and growth edges. The relationship becomes one of the most powerful personal development tools (sometimes painfully so).

9. Love in the long haul is often quiet, steady choice more than fireworks.
The butterflies turn into a deeper sense of safety, teamwork, and “home.” You learn that choosing each other again and again—through mundane days, hard seasons, aging, and change—is what actually sustains it.

Not every relationship teaches all these beautifully—some teach them the hard way through breakups. But the ones that last tend to involve people who gradually grow individually and understand their responsibilities to the relationship.

Anywho, happy anniversary Dal! 😄🫶

13/02/2026

Every week is completely different, a real mixed bag and I love it!

I’ll bang on about how grateful I am to share this part of my clients life with them. To help encourage real change is a privilege that I don’t take lightly. To me, it’s feckin huge and I genuinely appreciate each and every one of you - y’all know that.

If you’re open and willing I’m here to help.

There’s no shame in seeking help, it’s actually so clever.

I do have some sprinkles of availability over the coming weeks so if you’d like to know more shoot me a dm 🫶

11/02/2026

Treat yo’self but in a healthy and useful way.

Honestly, sooooo many people kid themselves or justify their ‘treats’ then wonder why they end up with an issue.

Everything is sparked from an emotion, all of our behaviours start somewhere. Understanding that emotion is key. You can remedy the behaviour by validating the emotion in a healthy way and by doing so you’re closer to healing understanding that emotion rather than distracting yourself from it.

Yes, it takes some awareness and discipline to start but also yes, the result is worth it. Again, you’ll be more empowered and more self aware.

If you’re someone who treats yourself too often and you’re ready for that to end - pm me.

Petra Baumgart - PsychoChange Therapist

22/02/2026

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