17/04/2026
So much of how we experience the world was shaped before we had the words to explain it.
The adults around us, the way they spoke, what they believed & even what we overheard without realising.. all of it was absorbed along with what was on the radio, the telly and everything else in our environment.
This is known as implicit learning — how we take in the emotional environment around us long before we can make sense of it.
By the time we’re 7, many of our beliefs about safety, worthiness & belonging are already running in the background.
Here’s a truth.. you don’t need obvious trauma to feel this.
It can look like unravelling when you’re running late.
Snapping when your capacity is low.
That anxious, tight feeling that seems to come out of nowhere.
So what’s happening in those moments?
Your nervous system has entered a threat response.
It’s constantly scanning for safety & when it doesn’t find it, it shifts into survival because something once taught your body that this feeling meant danger. Not because there’s anything wrong with you.
As Bessel van der Kolk writes, the body keeps the score.
These patterns don’t just live in our thoughts, they live in our body & they show up as a tight chest, the short breath, the tension we barely notice anymore & those looping stories in our heads.
Guess what else? Our nervous system isn’t fixed 🤓
Through a process called memory reconsolidation, these patterns can be updated when they’re gently revisited and paired with a new, safe experience.
That’s why approaches like EFT and somatic work can create real, lasting change rather than temporary relief.
A sprinkling of modern psychology while the nervous system is learning that it’s safe now.
That’s the work we do together. 🌿
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