08/01/2023
Dear Amb. Jeff
Emotions Everywhere
The human life is filled with so many developmental tasks, most of which are not clearly defined. When a child is born, they are expected to hit various milestones at certain points otherwise they would be assessed for developmental delays and be labelled as impaired or disabled. Some of the milestones to be achieved at the start of life include sucking at birth, neck support, moving in the direction of light or sound, ability to sit, crawl, stand, walk and the list goes on. Milestones cuts across motor/physical, cognition, emotional, speech/language and social domains.
The life of any parent is a wonder. Nothing ever prepares you for what is to come. The period of pregnancy has its ups and downs, each trimester comes with its own struggles. I salute every mother reading this, and kudos to the fathers that are involved too – kindly pause right here and give yourself a hug on my behalf, thank you.
Some families have had to say forced goodbyes to their unborn children. Some were abruptly lost in a miscarriage, others were terminated at a Doctor’s advise and some were carried till full term and were dead on delivery. No one of these scenarios is easy. Although getting pregnant might be easy for some couples, it is still a walk of emotions. Having to say goodbye to a baby you had started connecting with from your womb is a hard job.
Still, we treat a miscarriage or stillbirths like nothing happened. Something happened! she just lost a part of her, her heart is heavy! Her husband has so many questions, he already finds it hard expressing himself, now this? How are they to get passed this hurdle? Oh, we will bury it and act like nothing happened even though they’re in a lot of emotional pain. These feelings are either intentionally suppressed or unconsciously repressed when the brain kicks a defense mechanism into action.
Nothing goes for something.
Still, there is another family that has their baby delivered to them. They are excited about this and start nursing their child. Days turn into weeks and during one visit to the Doctor’s office for another routine check their infant is identified as slowly developing. They decide to keep observing the child and weeks turn into months and the baby still has deficit on their developmental tracker. More and more attention gets turned to this child. Once again parents are confused. The Doctor is seeing a child and thinking of ways to make this child’s life normal, giving the parents just enough information about what steps to take next and what signs to look out for.
On another hand is a family that has their school age child performing terribly at school. Oh, how much this breaks my heart! Learning disabilities are often missed in our country. Children suffer a lot as most teachers become abusive to them, physically, verbally, … they may also face bullying from their peers and be excluded from social activities as class plays, sports, parties, etc. What might the parents of such a child do? What have you seen happen around you? I would love to read from you.
Emotions everywhere...
Parenting a child is a big deal! It takes a lot of emotional stamina to go through pregnancy, delivery and everything else that comes with raising a child into adulthood till you are no more on this side of eternity. Losing a child or the fear of it – for any reason valid or not; is a big deal. Seeking help from a professional for your emotions should become a lifestyle. Wonder why? I will tell you soon.
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