16/10/2025
Courtesy of EAP:
Few workplace challenges are as quietly draining as dealing with a passive-aggressive colleague. Unlike direct conflict, this style of communication hides tension beneath a surface of politeness: through sarcasm, procrastination, silent treatment or subtle digs. Understanding what drives passive-aggressive behaviour is the first step in handling it effectively.
From a psychological perspective, passive-aggression often stems from an avoidance of direct conflict. A person may fear negative consequences if they express anger openly, so frustration leaks out indirectly. This pattern can be shaped by early experiences (e.g., conflict wasn’t safe at home), low psychological safety in the workplace, or difficulty with assertive communication skills.
How to respond without escalating the cycle
Stay calm and curious. Reacting with irritation often fuels more resistance. Instead, notice the behaviour and consider the underlying need—perhaps autonomy, recognition, or respect.
Communicate clearly. Passive-aggression thrives in ambiguity. Use “I” statements: “When deadlines shift without notice, I feel pressured. Can we agree on a clear timeline?” This approach promotes assertiveness without blame.
Don’t mirror the behaviour. Meeting sarcasm with sarcasm creates a spiral. Modelling the direct, respectful communication you’d like in return helps break the cycle.
Addressing the issue directly
If the behaviour persists, you can gently name it without accusation. For example: “I noticed you seemed frustrated in that meeting. I’d value hearing your perspective more openly.” This signals both recognition and an invitation to engage directly. Such interventions build trust and psychological safety, which research shows are essential for effective teams.
When to involve leadership
If passive-aggressive behaviours consistently disrupt teamwork or productivity, it may be time to escalate. Frame the issue in terms of impact, for example, missed deadlines, low morale, strained collaboration, rather than personality flaws. Leaders can then set clearer expectations, support communication training or mediate if needed. Ultimately, the antidote to passive-aggression is a culture that rewards openness, not avoidance. By staying steady, setting boundaries and encouraging direct dialogue, you help shift the workplace climate from covert tension toward constructive collaboration.
