05/02/2026
This post was shared by one of my clients who for the past 4 years has been learning self love with me. Mariana Elyse Hurtado words are below đđŒ
I love this quote, but I had to sit with what this actually means to live it.
What âprotecting your energyâ actually means (in practice)
It doesnât mean:
Cutting people off at the first discomfort
Being cold, avoidant, or superior
Always being ârightâ
Never being challenged
It does mean:
Taking responsibility for what drains vs. sustains you
Choosing how and when you engage
Not sacrificing your nervous system to keep the peace
Energy protection is less about control and more about discernment.
The hardest truth (especially with people we love)
You can love someone deeply and still need limits with them.
Love doesnât equal unlimited access.
Sometimes the people who know us best:
Trigger us the fastest
Expect the most emotional labor
Donât realize how much they take because the pattern is old
Protecting your energy from them isnât rejectionâitâs relationship maintenance.
A respectful framework to use
Think in three layers, not right vs. wrong:
1. Awareness (quiet, internal)
Ask yourself:
What specifically drains me here?
Is it the topic, the timing, the tone, or the frequency?
Do I feel obligated, guilty, or afraid to say no?
This keeps you honest and prevents projecting blame.
2. Boundaries (clear, not harsh)
Boundaries work best when they are:
About you, not them
Specific, not moral
Consistent, not dramatic
Instead of:
âYouâre too much / you always do thisâ
Try:
âI donât have the capacity for this conversation right now.â
âI need to step back from this topicâitâs affecting me more than I want.â
âI love you, and I also need some space around this.â
No justifying. No over-explaining. Calm repetition is respect.
3. Repair (when it matters)
Especially with people you love:
Acknowledge impact
Reaffirm care
Donât undo the boundary
Example:
âI know this might feel distancing. Thatâs not my intention. Iâm doing this so I donât grow resentful or shut down.â
Thatâs how energy protection becomes an act of loveânot withdrawal.
When you canât be ârightâ for everyone
This part matters:
Respect doesnât require agreement.
Someone can feel hurt and you can still be doing the right thing for yourself.
If protecting your energy causes temporary discomfort but prevents long-term resentment, burnout, or emotional shutdownâthatâs not selfish. Thatâs mature.
A simple rule of thumb
If saying yes costs you:
Your peace
Your body
Your emotional stability
Then saying no is not crueltyâitâs care.
Sometimes love looks like:
Shorter conversations
Less availability
Changing how close you let someone get to certain parts of you.
A livable version of the quote
Instead of:
âI give myself permission to protect my energy as an act of love.â
Try holding it as:
âI choose responses that let me stay open, regulated, and kindâwithout abandoning myself.â
That one has room for love and limits.