Claudia Devora Counsellor

09/12/2020

Published this article in the
New View Psychology website in October.
Hope you can read and find this information useful 🌿

During these difficult COVID times, the nervousness of the unknown and the lack of opportunities to move around can develop into stress symptoms. Book Online

24/09/2020

Guaranteed!

22/06/2020

Between the ages of 0 and 5 we all create a life-script and we “enhance” it an revise it during childhood and adolescence.
As adults, no longer aware of that life story, we are likely to live it out faithfully, often wondering “Why did I behave, say or react like this?”
That’s script-analysis and it can help us solve a lot of our problems 🔆

23/05/2020

“Every time we complain, we’re victims.”
Tich Nhat Hahn

09/05/2018

Transactional Analysis is a great counselling tool. The method was developed by Canadian Psychiatrist Eric Berne.

It focuses on the way we interact with one another. T.A. describes 3 ways of relating to people: as a PARENT, as an ADULT or as a CHILD. From these stem various possible relationships, but essentially we behave towards others in one of these three ways.

A PARENT always wants control. A parent wishes to show how to do things, or the best way to do them. They're also good at nurturing, but sometimes enjoy taking over. Parents often nag others for doing things 'the wrong way'.

A CHILD likes to please or disrupt. A child can be playful, lie or be needy. They can also be funny and sensitive, but sometimes become victims of others (of PARENTS) and do not relate to others in a mature way.

An ADULT is the ideal way of relating to others. It doesn't mean adults never behave wrongly, but in this instance, in T.A., being an adult is what we're aiming for. An adult is a mature, level-headed individual who can objectively accept criticism. An adult talks straightforward, without intending to hurt or disrupt. They don't let anger or other emotions dictate their thoughts, and they achieve the best possible communication.

How do you relate to others? Are you a rescuer or a victim or do you always get your messages across without conflict? It's a good idea to look at ourselves when communication fails. Are we behaving as adults?

18/04/2018

On Schizophrenia and Mental Illnesses
Sigelman & Rider (2012) describe that children of parents with schizophrenia and other serious mental health problems are at greater risk of developing mental illness than other children.
Around 1% of the population develop schizophrenia and 10% of children with a schizophrenic parent develop the illness. So, although children of schizophrenic parents are more at risk of developing the illness, 90% do not develop the disorder.
Environmental factors also contribute significantly, however it is important to understand people do not inherit the psychological disorder but the predisposition to those disorders.
Children's experiences will interact with their genetic makeup to determine their social adjustment. Hence the importance for children to grow up in a healthy family environment, most importantly when parents have suffered from serious mental health problems.

22/07/2017

Winter Blues seem to keep coming to many of us every year.
It is not uncommon to see really joyous people dimming down during winter. Colours seem to pale not only outdoors, but inside our homes too. Have a look at the people walking outside, and many of them will be wearing grey, black or other dark colours.
The Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) can be outsmarted by following a few suggestions:

- When feeling really gloomy, try and remember winter will pass. In a matter of months the weather will improve and with it our mood. It sounds silly, but reminding ourselves of this will keep it in our conscience. The fear of an ever lasting winter is in our unconscious and it feels catastrophic.
- Surround yourself with light. Open blinds and shutters, trim hedges or trees that may be blocking sunlight and get out of the darker rooms. Spend some time outdoors if you can. Just 15 minutes a day will charge the batteries responsible for feeling happier.
- Meet friends for coffee or chocolate. Drinking warm beverages accompanied by meaningful conversations boosts our wellbeing. Feeling cared for will always make us feel better.
- Watch your food intake. Too much sugar will make you feel euphoric for a few hours, but then your euphoria might decrease into sadness. The same happens when abusing alcohol.
- Keep yourself warm. Feeling sad and cold is a bad combination. Warmth will always improve our day or night.
- Human touch is priceless. Ask for and give away hugs if you can. This will no doubt boost your emotional state.

If you find that after applying these small changes to your life things continue to look gloomy, please get in touch with your GP or find help through counselling. Talking about your feelings will always be helpful.

27/10/2016

Today I'd like to talk about self-esteem.
The concept of self-esteem is one that is very relevant for all people. Those who experience a kind and healthy perception of themselves, generally are considered to have a good self-esteem and a very likeable personality. They are also the happiest individuals.
Personality is an organised combination of attributes, values and behaviours unique to each individual (Sigelman & Rider, 2012).
When we describe ourselves, we generally reveal our self-concept, our perception of the positives and negatives and unique attributes as a person.
So what makes one person's self-esteem higher than other's?
There are many reasons why some people may have a better self-concept and therefore experience liking themselves more. Many of them suffered from various childhood situations, rejection, lack of attachment, unhealthy comparisons, family violence, etc. but more often than not, we find that it is the self-talk that damages an individual the most.
It is quite common that adolescents find a big gap between their ideal and real self, therefore experiencing low self-esteem. They aspire to become someone else or to acquire attributes that are very far from reality. If their self-concept is already poor, they will not develop a healthy self-acceptance, and this drives them even further from liking themselves. Again, negative self-talk.
If people learn to reduce the gap between their ideal and real self, the adjustment in their self-conception becomes more realistic, more in line with who they really are. This takes a lot of effort because we're talking about acceptance. If we reduce our high standards of self-evaluation, avoiding comparisons and forgetting about stereotypes, this may be achieved sooner than we think.
Why not exercising loving ourselves more just for this week?

11/10/2016

Today I would like to share some ideas about loss, grief and bereavement.

Talking about grief, consider the importance of being mentally healthy to approach loss and bereavement in the best possible way. What am I talking about?
Nobody is ever fully prepared to face the blow of suffering loss. When a friend or relative is suffering from a terminal illness, we try to prepare ourselves for what may be coming, but don't we always hope things will turn around and that our loved one fully recovers? This idea is perfectly normal, although it doesn't always work out how we would expect.
When we face a loss by death, if we are in a good place, feeling supported by other loved ones, fully aware of our limitations and vulnerabilities, the pain, the grief will be lived within the best possible state of mind.
At the end of the 70s, Swiss-American Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross suggested there were 5 stages of grief people live through when suffering bereavement (and sometimes even before the actual loss).
These stages are:
1. Shock and denial
2. Anger, resentment and guilt
3. Bargaining
4. Sadness or depression
5. Acceptance and striving towards normality

These stages are not meant to be followed in order or within any specific time-frame. Everyone lives differently through grief. However, her point was that most bereaved people would go through these stages in order to get to accept the loss and begin to feel gradually better.
When people have good and sound relationships and when their life is in balance, they tend to recover a lot sooner and this will allow them to accept that their lost loved ones will not come back, but they will still pull through and live a fulfilling life.
Seeking to have a good mental health is as important as having our GP look at our eyes or throats when we're feeling in pain or just sick.
The healthier we are, in all areas of our life, the better we can face whatever comes our way.