Soul Healing with Kara Ockendon

06/11/2025

Throughout my career and my own life, I’ve learned a truth that can be hard to swallow.

There’s a difference between acknowledging pain caused by another’s actions (being a victim) and identifying as the pain (being victimised).

Naming what happened honours truth, self-respect, and healthy accountability.

Feeling and processing the pain honours your humanity, your need for it to be witnessed, validated, and compassionately held.

But living from the pain keeps you bound to the wound and stuck in a state of false disempowerment.

And expressing from the pain?

That’s like pouring salt into your own wounds - it rarely ends well, even if you add tequila (or especially).

Healing begins when we can hold our story with compassion, without letting it define our identity.

Your story is part of you, not the whole of you - and one that contains the keys to your true power when alchemised.

And if there is one thing I am an expert in, it is turning pain into power!

05/11/2025

04/11/2025

Hands up if you’ve ever spilled coffee on your white pants on the way to school drop-off and just before a morning meeting?
🙋‍♀️☕

Yep… that was me today, en route to our local Collaborative Professionals meeting.

As I was frantically trying to clean myself up (yes, while driving) and mentally calculating if I had time to detour home, Tatum was chatting away, seeking my attention.

I felt that familiar rush of irritation and overwhelm rise, the urge to snap at him for something that wasn’t his fault.

You know the feeling, right?

But with awareness of my dysregulation, I paused, took a breath, and said:

“I’m feeling quite irritated with the mess I’ve made and I just need a moment.”

Shortly after, he said: “We were having a good morning, and now it’s a bad day.”

My reply: “It’s not a bad day, sweetheart. Just a challenging moment.”

That little exchange reminded me how quickly things can shift when the unexpected happens.

And here's the thing... separation and divorce are full of uncertainty, unexpected events and snap turns of dysregulation.

But it’s not the mess that defines us.

It’s how we reframe and regulate that shapes the journey forward.
I still made it to my meeting (after a quick detour home), and the world didn’t end, though my white shorts may never recover!

And what could’ve been a chaotic school drop-off became a moment of modelling and connection for my son.

In the same way, conscious separation is less about avoiding the “spills,” and more about learning to clean them up with awareness, grace, and growth. 🌿

And the good news?

These are the skills I support separating families to cultivate in the thick of the chaos, so that they can break cycles and lay the foundations for their children to Thrive too!

27/10/2025

23/10/2025

21/10/2025

17/09/2025

You are likely a source of communication dysfunction and experiences of invalidation in your separation or divorce, not an easy pill to swallow.

Here’s what’s really happening:

• Grief, anger and fear hijack your nervous system.
• Old wounds (abandonment, shame, not-enoughness) get triggered and projected.
• Conversations meant to connect become battlegrounds.

Left unmanaged, these patterns:

• Escalate conflict
• Increase legal and emotional costs
• Harm children through emotional dumping or triangulation

You can choose something different.

The fastest, most effective place to start is learning how to communicate from a regulated place.

17/09/2025

Fact: Most of us are unintentionally part of the communication problem.

Here's a story of how....

A friend recently told me how proud they felt for expressing her feelings to her partner… until the moment turned sour.

Here’s how it went:

Partner: “You don’t understand X topic…”

Friend: “Stop phrasing things like, ‘You’re too stupid to have this conversation with me.’”

Partner: “I didn’t say that you were stupid or imply it”

And just like that, the whole conversation derailed.

Why? Because my friend wasn’t actually expressing their feelings.

They were reacting from an old wound of feeling “stupid,” and projected it onto their partner. The partner then got defensive.

They went nowhere.

This kind of dysfunctional communication dance is so common across all relationships.

And in the chaos of separation, when nervous systems are already running hot, these patterns tend to become exacerbated and even more destructive.

The good news? With the right tools, you can shift these dynamics.

That’s exactly why I teach conscious communication principles right from Module 1 of Financial Separation Made Easy.

The full revamped program is still a couple weeks off launching.

But for the next 48 hours only (until Sept 19, 2025) you can access the full version of the Introduction + Module 1: Pre and Early Separation Steps for just $47.

Just send me a DM :)

04/09/2025

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