Successful Relationships - Vivian Baruch

Successful Relationships - Vivian Baruch I work online & in Faulconbridge, NSW, Australia. www.vivianbaruch.com I work online & in Faulconbridge, Blue Mountains, Australia.

Let's Talk about S*x, Intimacy & Desire. A lively discussion with Jennifer Jefferies of The Present Day Wise Woman podca...
18/11/2025

Let's Talk about S*x, Intimacy & Desire. A lively discussion with Jennifer Jefferies of The Present Day Wise Woman podcast.

She’s back, and we’re going there. Relationship therapist and wise woman Vivian Baruch returns to talk about the topics too many women were never taught to t...

Relationships don’t come with a rulebook. In this conversation with Jennifer Jefferies on The Present Day Wise Woman Pod...
24/10/2025

Relationships don’t come with a rulebook. In this conversation with Jennifer Jefferies on The Present Day Wise Woman Podcast, I speak about how singles can rebuild confidence, how couples can reignite intimacy, and what to do when you’re on the fence about your future together. We also dive into the wisdom of “wise women” and the power of mentorship across generations, because love, connection, and guidance are what truly hold us together.

Relationships don’t come with a rulebook. In this conversation, relationship coach and therapist Vivian Baruch shares how singles can rebuild confidence, ho...

How to Protect Children from Social Media and AI - Jean Twenge with Michael Shermer.
26/09/2025

How to Protect Children from Social Media and AI - Jean Twenge with Michael Shermer.

New on the podcast: psychologist Jean Twenge on how to raise children with technology. Listen now.

Why is it hard to talk about s*x? Here are six reasons why. Successful Relationships September newsletter out now.
25/09/2025

Why is it hard to talk about s*x? Here are six reasons why. Successful Relationships September newsletter out now.

Many people find it hard to talk about s*x. No matter how much you know about s*x, it's useless if you can't talk to your partner about s*x.

Is the Honeymoon Phase a Myth? Understanding Love’s Most Romanticized Stage
12/09/2025

Is the Honeymoon Phase a Myth? Understanding Love’s Most Romanticized Stage

The honeymoon phase might be ruining your relationship. Surprising research reveals why chasing early passion could be sabotaging your chance at lasting love.

Marriage is a long conversation.
20/07/2025

Marriage is a long conversation.

In my work as a couples coach, I often hear one partner ask “Why don’t they think or feel like me? What’s wrong with the...
15/07/2025

In my work as a couples coach, I often hear one partner ask “Why don’t they think or feel like me? What’s wrong with them?” At the core of this confusion is the idea that your partner should think and feel the same as you.

They don’t.

Your thoughts, feelings, wants and needs are different due to many reasons – among them biological, psychological, social and cultural factors.

Successful Relationships July newsletter out now.

In my work as a couples coach, I often hear one partner ask "Why don't they think or feel like me?" Nothing's necessarily going wrong here.

Here's my 48 minute interview by Juliet Austin & Clinton Power from the Mind Body Training Institute. In it I discuss th...
16/05/2025

Here's my 48 minute interview by Juliet Austin & Clinton Power from the Mind Body Training Institute. In it I discuss the science & art of Feedback Informed Treatment (FIT), which helps coaches, counsellors, psychologists, psychotherapists & social workers track outcomes & alliance (relationship) with our behavioural health clients. https://youtu.be/lIgU-n0oEkA?t=1

You can read more about it here https://vivianbaruch.com/2025/05/18/fit-webinar-with-vivian-baruch/

My 48 minute interview by Juliet Austin & Clinton Power from the Mind Body Training Institute (MBTI). In it I discuss the science and art of Feedback Informe...

Free interview by Clinton Power & Juliet Austin of the Mind Body Training Institute. Next week Clinton & Juliet will int...
06/05/2025

Free interview by Clinton Power & Juliet Austin of the Mind Body Training Institute. Next week Clinton & Juliet will interview me on my 20-year clinical use of Feedback Informed Treatment (FIT). Their institute offers free and fee-based courses for therapists and wellness professionals on marketing and skill-building.

In 2004, I trained with Dr. Scott D. Miller, the founder of the International Center for Clinical Excellence (ICCE), in the use of Feedback Informed Treatment. FIT is an empirically supported, pantheoretical approach for evaluating and improving the quality and effectiveness of behavioral health services. FIT can be incorporated into your preferred method of doing therapy, as it’s not a model of doing therapy. It involves routinely and formally soliciting feedback from clients regarding the therapeutic alliance and outcome of care and using the resulting information to inform and tailor service delivery to each unique client. https://mindbodytraininginstitute.com/next-free-support-webinar/

What a relief to have psychologist and cognitive scientist Scott Barry Kaufman add his research to the growing number of...
06/05/2025

What a relief to have psychologist and cognitive scientist Scott Barry Kaufman add his research to the growing number of people speaking out about the possible damage of current therapeutic fashions. He shows these may be negatively impacting the emotional and psychological wellbeing of our clients, instead of helping them foster abilities to deal with life’s inevitable challenges. I particularly enjoyed the last section where he and Michael Shermer discuss mentalism, where Scott displays his skills as The Amazing Dr. Scott. I just bought his new book "Rise Above".

In this interview, Scott examines “…how popular narratives around sensitivity, self-esteem, and emotional regulation may be holding us back. He unpacks the psychological costs of coddling (vs. empowerment), the rise of risk aversion, and how modern parenting, education, and therapy shape our sense of self.”

He says: “Michael, I want to have a little bit of humility here. In one sense my book is not about trauma actually. It’s not about helping people who really have trauma. It's how we overuse that word so much, to the extent to which we're applying all these trauma techniques to people who are having normal ordinary human experiences of life. And I think I need to emphasize that point.

I think that for the large majority of people reading my book techniques like …really challenging your cognitive distortions and also emotional regulation techniques, go such a long way and are so much more helpful than immediately blaming all of your uncomfortable emotions on trauma.

But actually, learning techniques to cope with your uncomfortable emotions is a more productive way forward for the large majority of humans who are having normal human experiences. It's almost like we've reached a point in our society where we don't allow ourselves to not be happy anymore. Like the default expectation is that we should be happy. And so, in a lot of ways, it's really written for that large swathe.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tJPRE1_g9M

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tJPRE1_g9M

The Michael Shermer Show # 513 It’s tempting to see ourselves as damaged or powerless—defined by past traumas, overwhelming emotions, and daily struggles. Bu...

Research indicates that professional humility is associated with higher levels of clinical effectiveness. In this 10th, ...
07/04/2025

Research indicates that professional humility is associated with higher levels of clinical effectiveness.

In this 10th, and final video, Dr. Nathan Castle and couples therapist, Vivian Baruch, talk about how FIT engenders professional humility, in the process enhancing engagement and outcome.

NC - I'm hearing you talk about these cases with real people, where you get their voice (about their life & their therapy). You mostly do relationship counselling, but it could be with individuals as well. You get their voice, and it conflicts with what you might have assumed was the case. Either they don't think the therapy is as helpful, or they're not feeling as well as you think.

And it makes me think of a lot of therapists out there, and I was one of these prior to using FIT (Feedback Informed Treatment). I thought I could pick up someone who's deteriorating in my care. (The ICCE Performance Benchmarks show thar 5-10% of clients are reliably worse in treatment). I probably never thought about what percentage of the time I would pick up deterioration. But what was so humbling for me when I did the FIT training with the International Center for Clinical Excellence, we only pick up that the client is deteriorating, I hope I'm not butchering the numbers, less than 5% of the time. It's so small!

And (the online tracking systems) MyOutcomes or NovoPsych or FIT-Outcomes or any of those platforms, they can pick this up 80% of the time. So I think in some ways it's a bit of a superpower, if you’re okay with being surprised. I guess that's the key, if you're okay with being “Oh that's not what I thought!” I'd love to hear from you about how you keep that curiosity open. How do you maybe even put your ego to the side at times to be open, surprised and feeling good about being wrong, at your own assumptions?

VB - Well I just remind myself we're all wrong at times. So often what we pick up or think that we pick up is wrong. Really, I can't remember who told me this, but our clients have been doing what they're doing for many years before we meet them. So, we don't have the abilities, I think, to really understand a client just from how they're presenting.

I think what you said is great. The superpower of the FIT measurement gives us the ability for them (clients) to score themselves and how they're feeling in these four areas in their life. And (for us clinicians) to actually use that as a springboard for talking about (their scores). We can say “Tell me more about that”. “Why isn't this getting better since last time? What's your understanding about that?”

So, it's really about their voice. It's not me. I don't have the superpower to understand what's going on in their life. And it’s the same with the alliance (their view of the relationship with me). I might think “Well this felt easy for me. They laughed and they smiled, and I was able to help them emotionally regulate when they were dysregulated. OK, that's gone well”. And then they mark me low on the SRS (Session Rating Scale) and I go “Oh, tell me about that. What was a point (in our session) that could have been done differently?” Or “What happened there?”

Or if it was (a score of) five (out of ten) on (their sense of) being heard (by me or their partner), “Was there a point where it was actually worse? Was there a point where it was a four?” I think the numbers are really teaching us humility. They just keep us on track to remember that we're not “It” for the clients we see. They're the experts in their life. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X7sqKghIx5s

For information on the three day FIT online training in Australian time zones, go to https://www.eventbrite.ie/e/feedback-informed-treatment-fit-intensive-online-tickets-910779204117?aff=oddtdtcreator

Research indicates that professional humility is associated with higher levels of clinical effectiveness. In this 10th, and final video, Dr. Nathan Castle a...

Contracts in Relationship. Contracts in relationship exist between every couple. They can be explicit and talked about, ...
30/03/2025

Contracts in Relationship. Contracts in relationship exist between every couple. They can be explicit and talked about, or implicit and assumed. If not talked about, they’re based on hidden assumptions. These hidden assumptions are usually wrong because they’re formed on hopes, dreams and expectations rather than on an agreed reality. Contracts create clear boundaries. Boundaries help us deal with our differences and are a very important relationship skill to develop.

Successful Relationships March newsletter out now

Contracts in relationship make us freer & transparently evolve over time. Unspoken contracts in relationship are based on hidden assumptions.

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Our Story

I work online & in Faulconbridge, Blue Mountains, NSW, Australia www.vivianbaruch.com I’ve been in practice since 1981 & my biggest joy is helping people create healthy, successful relationships. I’m also a fully certified s*x therapist. Call +61 421 961 687 for a free 15 minute chat to see how I may be able to help you.