Phoenix Psychological Services - Qld

Phoenix Psychological Services - Qld Gary and Liz Lane - Principals In the early 1990’s Gary went to see Albert Ellis (one of the fathers of Cognitive Behaviour Therapy-CBT).

Ellis in his eighties walks on stage and say – “we’re all neurotic, all paranoid – our job isn’t to cure people it’s to teach people how to live with it”. Back then psychology was trapped in teaching people how to survive, thankfully now with leaders such as Dan Siegel, Brené Brown, Marshall Rosenberg, David Cooperrider and John & Julie Gottman, our field has moved into teaching people how to move from surviving to thriving. These scholars amongst others are our mentors and our major life purpose is to share their work, with our own insights and touches, to help our clients find and live from the very best of themselves. In our workshops we provide insights and strategies on how to navigate the darker moments in life and how to ride the wave of the lighter moments to their full capacity. We teach from our life experience as well as our craft, making sure our facilitation style is relaxed, collaborative and in the right moments, fun.

17/04/2025
Adult play can be seen as frivolous - when we were playing 500 the other night with our daughter and son-in-law and tear...
01/06/2021

Adult play can be seen as frivolous - when we were playing 500 the other night with our daughter and son-in-law and tears from laughter were pouring down our faces - life was at it's best.

Stuart Browns research is so clear - play helps us connect, relieves stress and even helps us critical think. It is so important for life balance. Where is play in your life?

PS we won :)

I love this quote - if we change the words "must", "mustn't", "should", shouldn't" and "have to" with the words "choose ...
18/02/2021

I love this quote - if we change the words "must", "mustn't", "should", shouldn't" and "have to" with the words "choose to" then put ourselves into the drivers seat. Remember, our best life choices align with our values.

01/01/2021

2020 was a unique experience for most of us. Some of us faced deep challenges and some of us received amazing gifts. Most of us experienced both. This is how life unfolds and each day, regardless of the date, it offers us an opportunity to live, learn, love and grow. Gary and I wish for you and yours, an opportunity for the richness that is love, compassion and connection - in every moment, hour, day, week and year, that is now and into the future. Our hearts to your heart - Liz and Gary xx

10/09/2020
We've just finished a great weekend with these amazing volunteers in Mt Isa, talking about leadership and resilience. Th...
06/09/2020

We've just finished a great weekend with these amazing volunteers in Mt Isa, talking about leadership and resilience. Thanks to all for the deep discussions, the laughter and the hospitality. It's so nice to be back out west again.

It costs nothing to listen and many conflicts can be avoided when we take the lead and listen.
03/09/2020

It costs nothing to listen and many conflicts can be avoided when we take the lead and listen.

The concept of “active listening” can be challenging to apply, especially in conflict or a tense conversation. Instead, practice engaged listening, and remember that it’s a skill built over time.

Start improving how you interact and care for the ones you love most. The Marriage Minute provides bite-sized tips directly to your inbox every Tuesday and Thursday to help you do just that. Sign up today: http://bit.ly/2qB8FAc

Came across this today and as much as I love a cup of tea with friends, some thoughts and emotions need to amble on by.
26/07/2020

Came across this today and as much as I love a cup of tea with friends, some thoughts and emotions need to amble on by.

As human beings we often ask ourselves consciously or unconsciously – what can I get from life or what will life give me...
16/05/2020

As human beings we often ask ourselves consciously or unconsciously – what can I get from life or what will life give me (as if life is there to serve us – as an individual - in some way)? We want it to deliver “the easy life” where we only have abundance and happiness and if this is not the case we then find ourselves in the psychological pain of resistance to “what is” unfolding and “causing us pain”.

In Man’s Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl reframes the question from “what are we asking from life” to “what is life asking from us”? This he says is our “call to meaning” or purpose. Viktor reminds us that the meaning of life is an unfolding one, that it is specific to each individual and has the potential to change from moment to moment as life unfolds. He further reminds us that the answer to the meaning of life is not an abstract one. It is found specifically within the choices and corresponding action that can be only be made within the unique place that we find ourselves in and within the given moment that is unfolding. Therefore, that task required for the fulfilment of meaning is pinpointed to the place we find ourselves, at a given point in time. For example, if I am sitting with my grandchild, soothing them when they have grazed their knee - the ability to share comfort and love is what life is asking of me in that moment. When I am standing in front of a group answering a question - life is asking for me to share my knowledge, to the best of my ability. This is different from the moment where I am sitting writing this article that has been forming inside me for the past few days. As I bubble with the importance I feel to synthesise and share these thoughts, this is a different request from life. Meaning is evolving and changing constantly for all of us, sometimes we answer the call with the very best of ourselves and at other times we find ourselves – I hesitate to say “falling short”, because I think falling short isn’t correct - that it’s more that for whatever reason we are unable to rally our internal and external resources to their best use.

We often think that life happens around us, today I feel that it is more apt to say that there is an orchestra of life that both surrounds us and encompasses us. When, for example, we walk into our backyards there is a symbiosis between all facets of nature and within the symbiosis is the balance or cycle of life as things are being born, live life and then die. Eckhart Tolle would call this the rise and fall of form. This rise and fall applies to everything from the smallest of microbes to the largest of buildings. The planet and everything within and on it, breathes in and out.

If life is a dance, we are all on the dance floor as the orchestra plays. When in a state of flow, we find the rhythm, we become part of the music, we are infused by it and we move within it. When we ask what can life do for us, we become a spectator and remove ourselves from the magic that exists only from within the dance. Each situation offers opportunity for us to sink deeply into the flow. This includes our moments of joy and suffering. The joys, opportunities and challenges that are right in front of us – define where meaning exists for each of us.

Viktor in his Logo therapy (and please remember that man also refers to woman in the quote) states that “man should not ask what the meaning of his life is but rather he should recognise that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life. To life he can only respond by being responsible”. It is in taking this responsibility into hand that we find our purpose – it is at the heart of our “meaning quest” and by default is at the core of our well-being. It is here and now that we find and get to experience (and in turn respond to) the unique place we have on this planet, in this community, within this household and within ourselves. It is within each of these we can find our place of harmony and our life purpose.

In any given moment of joy or struggle – take the time to ask yourself: What is life asking of me?

06/05/2020

Do you ever think you "shouldn't be feeling bad because others are worse off". Here are some thoughts on the perils of comparative suffering

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Dickman Road
Forestdale, QLD
4118

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Our Story

Writing down your story feels like writing a dot point version of yourself. Gary and I had worked for some large organisations (specifically he has been in the Australian Army, worked in a private gaol run by an American company and managed a professional team of Psychologists and Social Workers in the Queensland Police Service). Whilst he had been doing meaningful work, he wanted to take pause and get back to his roots and see clients again, so a change was in the wind. His background had been mainly working in trauma and so Phoenix Psychological Services seemed so apt. We can vividly remember making application to register the name, feeling that this was a defining moment in our future. Name in hand, still raising our kids, me working for QPS as a backup – he took the plunge and our business was born in 1998.

Fate has taken us on a journey and Gary found himself speaking with two Assistant Commissioners, one from Queensland Fire and Rescue Service and one from the Queensland Ambulance Service. They were sharing thoughts on the newly emerging topic of Emotional Intelligence and how leaders were promoted from their ranks based on operational skills not necessarily because they had the tools to be leaders. Almost as a throw away line, Gary was asked to put something together and Leadership in a Collaborative Environment was written. In parallel, I was still working at the QPS and had moved from the Equity and Diversity Unit to the Supportive Leadership Program. The planets were aligning for us to both have a shift in our direction and move from counselling into primarily workshopping.

Around the same time Gary secured a Department of Veterans Affairs contract to work with the Vietnam Veterans Counselling Service and the other arm of our business was born. We were now offering psychotherapeutic and psychoeducational programs to our Veteran Community and on both fronts felt that we were engaging in the most meaningful and soul enriching work.

It wasn’t until later that we realised that the Leadership & Team workshops and the Veterans workshops both evolved from the same platform. The formal terms would be Emotional and Social Intelligence but in real terms, we loved helping people journey their lives. We have offered practical programs that enable people to better understand themselves and improve their relationships with others for well over 20 years. Some would say these are the ‘soft skills’ but we would argue that they are some of the hardest tools to master. We are helping people to do what Joan Hallifax would say, ‘create a strong back and soft front’. Having the courage and strength to live to their values and pursue their own meaningful life whilst still bringing care, compassion and connection to themselves and others.