Practical Parenting - South Coast NSW

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08/04/2020

#9 FAMILY SURVIVE & THRIVE
Saying “NO” to your Kids————————-
Parents and Caregivers are spending more 1:1 time with their kids than possibly ever before.

Hearing and accepting the word “NO” is crucial to development of children of all ages.
—————-
REMEMBER...
1. You are not being mean or cruel to your child when you say “no”.

2. Saying “No” is necessary in the setting of boundaries.
————————
WHEN YOU SAY “NO”...
1. Use an authoritative but non-confrontational voice tone.

2. Be CLEAR and CONCISE
Eg. “No you cannot go across the road.”
Rather than, “You know I don’t like you going over there...it’s dangerous and I’ve told you so many times...”

3. Define the CONSEQUENCE
Eg. “If you cross the road again, you will have to sit on the step for 10 minutes.”

4. Tell your child what is “YES”.
Eg. “You CAN play on the front lawn.”

5. REDIRECT attention
Eg. “Let’s go and check the letterbox.”

6. Offer a CHOICE.
Eg. “Would you like the ball or the skipping rope?”
————————
Please comment or message me with any questions. 👫👫

02/04/2020

#8 FAMILY SURVIVE & THRIVE
TIMELY TRANSITIONS
Are your kids having trouble FINISHING one task and beginning another?
Do you feel like you are REPEATING yourself over and over?
-——————————————————
1. Give a gentle WARNING
EG. “In 5 minutes it will be time to pack up and have a bath.”

2. Set a TIMER
Show your kids that the timer is set and tell them to listen for it.

3. Have your kids TURN OFF the timer when it sounds.
Ask them to TELL you what they have to do now.
Eg. “We have to pack up and have a bath.”

4. Offer POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT
Eg. “When you have packed up, you can have some bubbles for the bath.”

5. PRAISE positive behaviour.
Eg. “Great packing up!”

IF YOUR CHILD IS NOT FOLLOWING THE INSTRUCTIONS:

A. Give a WARNING
Eg. “If you don’t pack up, you will have to sit in timeout.”

B. Give a CONSEQUENCE
Eg. “You are not doing as you were asked, so you will have to sit in timeout for 5 mins.”

C. FOLLOW THROUGH
Eg. “Now you need to pack away and have a bath.”
————————————————————————
👭🚶🏼‍♂️👯‍♂️👫🚶🏻‍♀️

31/03/2020

All BEHAVIOUR is COMMUNICATION.
Think about it for a moment or two.🤔

What is your child DOING that is naughty or annoying or rude? 🙅🏻‍♀️

What are they trying to TELL you? 🤷🏻‍♀️

More on this to come...

27/03/2020

#7 FAMILY SURVIVE & THRIVE
NO, CAN’T, WON’T & DON’T!!

As a result of Covid-19, many families are currently in an emotionally ESCALATED state.
School closures and cancellation of all extracurricular activities, means that parents and children are spending far more TIME together, without having had any time to prepare or PLAN.

If you want to try decreasing the level of CONFLICT in the family home, try to AVOID using the words NO, DON’T, CAN’T & WON’T.
These particular words carry negative vibes with them and can elicit a FIGHT/ FLIGHT response, which can escalate quickly.

Eg. Try saying, “We are staying inside.”
Rather than, “You CAN’T go outside.”

Eg. Try saying, “You need to walk next to me.”
Rather than, “NO running!”

Eg. Try saying, “You can connect with your friends on FaceTime & Zoom.”
Rather than, “You WON’T be going to your friend’s house for a long time.”
————————
👫👯‍♀️🚶🏼‍♂️🏃🏽‍♂️

26/03/2020

#6 FAMILY SURVIVE & THRIVE Managing Tantrums —————————
Tantrums occur when a child is OVERWHELMED by feelings.
These feelings may include:

* Anger or disappointment at not getting what they want

* Confusion or frustration at not being able to understand changes or communicate effectively

* Fear or anxiety at not having control in the situation

YOU MIGHT SEE:
* Yelling/ Crying/ Screaming
* Hitting/ Kicking/ Punching
* Scratching/ Biting
* Falling to the floor
* Throwing/ breaking objects

The child’s “Fight/ Flight/ Freeze” response has been triggered.
Their ability to think rationally, make good choices and communicate effectively, has been temporarily switched off.
————————————
WHAT CAN YOU DO TO HELP YOUR CHILD CALM DOWN?

1. STOP talking

2. Turn OFF any unnecessary noise
(Eg. TV, iPad, Music)

3. MOVE away from them a little bit

4. Don’t TOUCH them (unless restraint for safety is needed)

5. AVOID eye contact for a short time

6. SIT or crouch down

7. Be STILL

8. Wait...
————————————-
When your child appears to begin calming down, you can:

* Use a QUIET voice to speak to them

* Move SLOWLY toward them and offer some reassuring TOUCH

* Tell them what will happen NEXT

* AVOID the trigger and offer a choice/ distraction

————————————
🦋

25/03/2020

#5 FAMILY SURVIVE & THRIVE
ANXIETY...
* Your pulse beats faster = Your heart is working harder
* Your breathing becomes faster = Your lungs are working harder
* Your limbs are restless and tense = Your muscles are working harder
* Your skin is sweaty = Your nervous system is working harder
* Your thoughts are racing = Your brain is working harder
* Your head aches = Your pain management system is working harder
* Your stomach aches = Your digestive system is working harder
* Your sleep is disturbed = Your brain and body are working harder

Families are experiencing anxiety that they may have never encountered before.
When you look at the physical anxiety symptoms above, it only makes sense that you may be TIRED.
You may need to sleep LATER in the morning.
You may need to REST during the day.
You may need to go to bed EARLIER at night.

Encourage your young ones to rest.
Allow your teens some down time.
Stop.
Breathe...
Be kind to yourselves and others.
♥️

Time to be a family...💙
23/03/2020

Time to be a family...💙

19/03/2020

#4 FAMILY SURVIVE & THRIVE -
MENTAL HEALTH
As you follow the government’s unfolding recommendations for social distancing and regular daily activities are cancelled, remember to take care of both your physical and mental health by considering the following:

1. Keep your SLEEP Routine.

2. Keep your MEAL & SNACK Routine.

3. Create a home EXERCISE Routine for at least 30 mins per day.

3. Go OUTSIDE into your yard several times a day and soak up the fresh air & sunshine for at least 1 hour per day.

4. Limit the MEDIA updates to a manageable level for your family.

5. Relax your family SCREEN TIME rules, but don’t let it get out of hand.
——————-
Do you have anything to add to this list? Please share. 👫👭🚶🏼‍♂️🏃🏼‍♀️

19/03/2020

#3 FAMILY SURVIVE & THRIVE
How do we get our kids to wash their hands more frequently? ✋🏻

Creating a routine for washing hands can be helpful.
Have your child set an alarm on their phone/ iPad/ clock for every hour between arriving home and going to bed. ⏰📱💻

When the alarm sounds, the child is required to stop what they are doing and wash their hands.

We know that behaviour only changes if it is met with a positive or negative consequence —>
Having a tick chart ☑️ or smiley grid 😊where they can record their hand washing can encourage them.

There needs to be a reward/ positive reinforcement that they are working towards for the charts to be most effective.
(Eg. 10 ticks = ? 20 ticks = ?)

Washing hands after going to the toilet and before eating are already in the child’s routine so possibly won’t need rewarding.

Let me know how you go!
🦋

18/03/2020

#3 FAMILY SURVIVE & THRIVE

INTERNET
INSTAGRAM
FACEBOOK
TIKTOK
NETFLIX
YOUTUBE
TV
XBOX
PLAYSTATION

These screen activities are all very enjoyable ways to pass the time when families are “Self Isolated” or practising “Social Distancing”.

Research shows that the use of screens causes the release of Dopamine in our brains, the same “feel good” hormone that is produced by drinking alcohol, smoking or gambling.
As with these other activities, our brains can also become addicted to screens.

Careful MONITORING of screen use in young children and teens ensures that their usage is PRODUCTIVE and not harmful.

The following behaviours may be indicators that screen usage is becoming a problem for your child/ teen:
* Having trouble stopping use of a device when asked
* Loss of interest in other activities
* Pre-occupation of thoughts
* Interruption to socialisation
* Causing family problems
* Rising tolerance of screens
* Reliance on as a mood booster

The amount of screen time parents allow their kids will be DIFFERENT for each family.
I encourage you to regularly REVIEW screen time in your family home as we spend more time together over the coming weeks and months.

Any questions?
If I can’t answer them I will find someone with expertise who can!
📱🖥💻🕹🖲

16/03/2020

#2 FAMILY SURVIVE & THRIVE

As regular extracurricular activities are now being postponed and cancelled, we are creating space in our family routines that can be unsettling for our kids.

The feeling of something enjoyable being taken away, can be mitigated by replacing it with a new or long forgotten home based activity.

Just a few of the activities that can effectively fill the spaces that social distancing are creating -
Art
Craft
Music
Board games
Gardening
Cooking
Sewing
Outdoor games...

What else can you think of?
👫👭🧍🏻‍♀️👬🚶🏼‍♂️

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112 Mt Leslie Road, Prospect Vale
Gerringong, NSW

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