11/02/2025
Here’s a reminder that where focus goes… energy flows. If we can redirect our thoughts and attention, or be present, we can avoid contributing to our stress & overwhelm and be able to find constructive solutions to our challenges.
For some time I've suggested that talking to your kids about everything they're worried about might be bad for them (in some cases).
And I've advocated for a compassionate version of the old-school, "You'll be right." That's too simplified. I'd rather a parent say, "That sound rough... I'm here for you..." before encouraging the child to solve the problem or ignore the problem - and move on.
My provocative theory: much of the mental health care industry is built by sustaining and maintaining people's worries.
A new study suggests something similar. (Thanks to Adam Grant for the pointer to the study.)
Here's the gist. People were trained to "ignore" worries - and their mental health improved.
And the kicker: "After practice blocking out fears, people were less anxious—and less depressed 3 months later—especially if they had high anxiety or PTSD."
Read that again... ESPECIALLY if they had high anxiety or PTSD.
Make no mistake. Some things REQUIRE attention. But the overwhelming majority of things we are fearful, worried, or apprehensive about (past, present, or future) are only INCREASING our anxiety.
Inside Out 2 provide the perfect demonstration of how the healthy role of anxiety can be distorted when we allow it to chair our cognitive board of directors.
It's ok to say to your kids, "you'll be ok. I'm here. I believe in you... now off you go."
And you DON'T need to become their full-time (or even their part-time) therapist.
As Adam Grant said: Not all concerns demand attention. Some thoughts are worth dismissing.
