Healing Sands

23/12/2025

22/12/2025

SECOND CHANCE SUNDAY

This is the voice of a child living with PDA and high anxiety.

A child who wants to do the right thing — but whose nervous system goes into threat when demands feel overwhelming.

Behaviour like avoidance, refusal, or shutdown is not a lack of care or effort.
It is anxiety, fear, and a body trying to stay safe.

When we shift from pressure to connection, from control to collaboration, everything changes.

See visual for details of how to request a copy of our free download, which includes a printer friendly version. Remember to LIKE the post to receive the link.

22/12/2025

SECOND CHANCE SUNDAY

When a meltdown seems to come 'out of nowhere' it can feel confusing and overwhelming for the adult supporting the child.
We look for what just happened — a moment, an event, a trigger we can point to.

But for many neurodivergent young people, the overload didn’t start in that moment.
It started hours earlier.

From the outside, everything may have looked calm.
But inside, the nervous system was working hard — managing sensory input, masking, holding in feelings, navigating expectations, and sometimes carrying a deep sense of “that didn’t feel fair or right.”

Internal overload builds quietly.
And the meltdown happens when the nervous system can’t hold it any longer — not necessarily when the stress began.

This is why it’s so important to understand meltdowns as a sensory + emotional cycle, rather than a behaviour to react to.

When we shift from trying to identify the 'cause' → to supporting the nervous system, we meet the child where they actually are.

If you’d like a clear visual guide to the whole cycle — including what helps at each stage — you’ll find the Timeline of a Meltdown via link in comments below ⬇️ or via Linktree Shop in Bio.

Save this to return to when the moment feels confusing

21/12/2025

SECOND CHANCE SUNDAY

If your child falls apart after school, it’s not because they’ve been “holding it in all day to save it for you”.

It’s because school requires constant regulation, masking and compliance — often far beyond a child’s nervous system capacity.

All day, many children are working hard to sit still when their body wants to move, stay quiet when noise feels overwhelming, follow instructions when their brain is overloaded, and hide anxiety, confusion or distress just to get through.

From the outside, they may look calm, capable or “fine”.
Inside, their nervous system is running in survival mode.

By the time they get home — the safe place — the effort runs out.
What comes next can look like tears, anger, refusal or shutdown.
But this isn’t bad behaviour.
It’s the cost of holding it together all day.

This visual is here to reframe what after-school meltdowns are really telling us.
Not “they’re being difficult”.
But “they’ve been coping for longer than their brain could manage”.

Support doesn’t start with consequences.
It starts with understanding, decompression and safety.

👉 Explore our Masking Toolkit for deeper support around restraint collapse, regulation and neurodivergent wellbeing
link in comments below ⬇️ or via Linktree Shop in Bio.

Save this. Share it with a parent or teacher.
Because behaviour after school often tells the truest story.

21/12/2025

Making it through this time is never easy but there are things we can do to make it bearable or hopefully enjoyable; have a routine, give as much warning as possible when there is change, be really prepared with calming activities, allow for even more wind down time and have a plan. Then when the meltdown does happen (and it probably will), try to stay calm yourself so that you can help your child regulate and work through the emotions.

More information on my blog

https://www.thetherapistparent.com/post/managing-christmas-meltdowns

gentleparenting consciousparenting respectfulparenting resilience children family teachers

21/12/2025

Many people think consequences are about discipline — but in reality, they’re about brain development.

When a consequence is calm, connected, and logical, it gives the child’s brain essential feedback:
“This choice led to this outcome.”
This is how the neural pathways for prediction, reflection, emotional regulation, and problem-solving are built.

It’s not about punishment.
It’s about helping the developing brain learn safely, gradually, and with support.

If you want to understand this process more deeply, and learn how to use consequences without shame or stress, you’ll find reflection tools, co-regulation strategies, and behaviour explainers inside my Managing Big Feelings Toolkit.
Find it via the link in comments below ⬇️ or via Linktree Shop in Bio.

Follow for more posts on brain-based parenting, reflection, and consequences this week.

21/12/2025

Great depiction from ADHD Alien

21/12/2025

Some children don’t just dislike criticism — they feel undone by it.
A small correction, a friend saying no, or a moment of exclusion can land as deep rejection.

This isn’t being dramatic or fragile.
It’s a nervous system reacting to the fear of disconnection.

Rejection sensitivity often shows up in childhood and, without support, can quietly follow someone into adulthood — shaping relationships, confidence, and behaviour in ways that are frequently misunderstood.