The Frustrated Mechanic

14/12/2025

As another year end edges closer let's unpack a little.
The last year ( or several actually) have been full of high points and lessons but also a few parts I'd certainly rather forget and not repeat any time soon.
Many things and experiences can affect our mental health, our job, the friends we choose to hang around with and also our choice of partner.

At the base of these things is our personal self worth, so basically what we are willing to put up with.
That was the point of my life where I failed miserably and have spent the last year healing from.
A few years ago I had to learn what narcissism meant, then the term gaslighting and this year it was learning the side effects of being in those relationships and the unhealthy coping mechanisms that come from it that made me a unhealthy partner. That was a horrifying revelation.

In the last several months I'm regaining my physical strength by climbing pomona mountain as regularly as I can, 60 sit ups a day ( was aiming for 100 but haven't got there yet 😅) and using a braked trailer axle for weight training.
At the same time I'm working on mental strength engaging a wonderful counsellor, working through my triggers and how my brain works without judgement and singing on stage regularly, that karaoke crew are also pretty amazing.
The point I'm getting around to in my standard long winded jumbled way is no matter where you are now or what your goals may be anything is possible by taking one little step every day.

May everyone have a wonderful Christmas break however you get to spend it.

20/11/2025

20/11/2025

Please please reach out if you need someone to talk to.
I'm now 49, my first attempt was at about 21, 70mph in my old holden, seat belt undone and my hand on the handbrake ready to slide sideways under a passing truck.
My last, about 7 years ago on the highway where I intended using a strap between the truck and a tree to hang myself.
The only thing that saved me both times, and the others between was that I couldn't do it to those around me, my parents and friends, later my kids.

Mental health is a major problem that doesn't get talked about anywhere near enough.
It takes far too many because they have no idea how to talk or to who.
I'm one of the lucky ones, and I've found a counsellor that is truly wonderful.
To those struggling, it gets better i promise.
Have a wonderful day

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07/11/2025

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04/11/2025

Local independent audiologist and great at what she does. Please show your support

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13/10/2025

For anyone that is struggling please give Petra a go. She's helped me immensely.

05/10/2025

Let's have a chat about the pressures men put on themselves, the job, the family, the kids, the list goes on and on.
This was the position I got myself into just over 2 years ago.
Working multiple jobs without a day off to stay afloat, dealing with allegations of how my kids were treated while I worked long hours.
Being constantly told I'm wrong or not good enough, having my boundaries constantly disrespected cause I was too tired, exhausted and depressed to fight.
The point that broke me and ended me up here was being advised to go to court and having the lot turn around on me, losing the property, getting told I was the bad guy.
I knew it wasn't correct or just but I had no fight left in me at that point.
I'd potentially had a heart attack at work, my father had cancer and my priorities shifted.
I'm not ashamed to admit that I've cried so many tears over how I was treated and how my kids were treated.
The last couple of years have been about rebuilding my self worth, looking after my kids and relearning boundaries.
To build up strong and confident sons that won't put up with someone just because they want a relationship.
To learn how to speak respectfully, especially when its difficult to do so.
To set and enforce their boundaries.
We often just keep going cause somewhere we were led to believe that the working man that never stops must be the strong one.
The reality is often that he's the man that is broken and burnt out and has never been taught how to do anything differently.
If you've made it this far, I hope you never get to a point of broken that you're being helped out of a machine clutching your chest cause you're afraid to ask for help.
I hope you can find a wonderful therapist, as I have, to be a safe space and relearn how to put yourself first again.
I no longer care what anyone says about me, I have a huge heart and will help anyone where I can, the strength comes from knowing it's my choice to accept someone's energy.
Don't ever be afraid to ask for help, there are too many people that die every week because they are afraid to ask.
Yes it hurts, yes it's uncomfortable, yes it will take change on your part too, lots of learning and undoing many beliefs.
The outcome however, is certainly worth the journey.
Thanks for reading and coming along my journey.

01/10/2025

Sometimes we are going through so much s**t in life and we feel that no one understands.
Sometimes there are more people that understand than we think.

25/09/2025

Thoughts from the mower......

Who has said things like I'll stay in this situation because.......
Or, I'll stay here cause I'm strong enough to not let it bother me......
Or, it's fine cause if I work harder they'll finally see how good of a man/ person I am.
Yeah........almost 20 years of my life......

The journey of finding and rebuilding our self worth is not an easy one.
The anxiety and the loneliness can drive us back to old patterns, but somewhere through the journey we get to a point where everything shifts. The goal is suddenly greater than the opinions of others.
This is a great point to get to and I hope everyone has the guts to try.
Have a fantastic week.

24/09/2025