Jenny Blake The Crystal Doula

09/03/2026

My new business card

18/02/2026

Come along on Saturday and check it out

18/02/2026

So many times I have seen and heard my dear Doula friend Doulabarb - Barb Ferguson hold space for her people. This reminded me of some of her many special cases 🌼🌼🌼

Nine years ago, a woman I barely knew called me from Florida.

Her husband, my ex-boyfriend’s best friend, had died by su***de.

She didn’t call a funeral home first, she called me. I was in Texas and she was in Florida. This grief didn’t care about geography.

She didn’t know what she was asking for yet, but she wanted to fly me out right away. She knew she didn’t want to be alone, and she knew of my work thru the ex. After an emotional conversation,I started calling funeral homes.
She wanted:
• A viewing, even after a full autopsy
• To be present at the cremation
• Someone she trusted beside her

In Florida, only licensed staff can operate cremation equipment. Families can observe through a viewing window, but policies vary from funeral home to funeral home.

She was adamant, “If they won’t allow you to be there, I don’t want them.” So I found one that would.

The day came. He had been autopsied. I had asked the funeral home to prepare him appropriately for viewing. He was in a simple cremation container at the front of a vast chapel.

She shuddered at the doorway, then whispered to me quietly, “I need to hold him one more time.”

What happened next is something I will never forget. While staff stepped away, a few of us accompanying her that morning, stood guard at the chapel doors. Not to intentionally break rules, but to protect a sacred moment.

Holding my hand for leverage, and standing in a chapel chair, she climbed into the container and laid on top of her deceased husband. The first words she uttered were, "Why does he stink so bad?"
She placed her head on his chest and began to lament over his body, why why why, a few choices curse words, some silence, and then shecalled us back to help her out, whispering goodbye one last time in his ear as we came down the center isle.

People think death care is about logistics., paperwork, and regulations, but sometimes the most important role you can play is simply this: Stand at the door. Hold the space. Protect the goodbye.

That was one of the moments that shaped me long before I ever I trained as a death doula.

Grief doesn’t care about licensure, it sure does care about love.

Have you ever needed someone to stand guard for your grief?

18/02/2026

After a lovely lunch date with our Doula tribe at Axedale Hotel today. The conversations were fast and furious with lots of ideas and inspiration to share.

18/02/2026

https://www.facebook.com/share/16F7r75VVb/?mibextid=wwXIfr

When someone dies, I want to assure you that the clock doesn’t start ticking the way most people think it does.

You don’t have to rush, you don’t have to immediately call for removal, you don’t have to give up those first sacred hours.

A home funeral or vigil gives people the option of keeping their person at home for a period of time before cremation or burial. It can be a few hours, up to a day or two (depending on circumstances and body cooling options). It can include body washing, dressing, storytelling, music, prayer, silence, grandchildren visiting, dogs laying at their feet, the works.

It doesn’t have to be complicated, doesn’t have to be dramatic, either. This moment in time can be tender.

This is where an End of Life Guide or Death Doula can step in when family isn't prepared or wanting to assert their desires outside what society considers the "norm.".

A death doula doesn’t replace the funeral home. We work alongside them when needed. In short, a End of Life Guide, or Doula can help families:
• Understand what is legally allowed in their state
• Slow the process down so decisions aren’t made in shock
• Teach safe body care practices (cooling, positioning, bathing)
• Create ritual that feels personal instead of procedural
• Coordinate timing with cremation or burial
• Advocate when families want to participate in meaningful ways

Many people don’t realize you can sit with your person, touch them, comb their hair, say what you couldn't or didn't get to say.
Let children ask questions, let the family dog come in and understand.l, let life unfold with death in the room.

Home funeral before cremation.
Home vigil before green burial.
Time to exhale.

Death care does not have to be cold or clinical; It can be hands-on, heart-led, and gounded.

If this is something you’d want for yourself or your family, talk about it now. Planning ahead is what protects your wishes later.
And if you ever need guidance navigating those first hours, that’s exactly what I’m here for. 🌿

Melissa, The Modern Mortician
End-of-Life Guide & Funeral Consultant

05/11/2025

A will can be the last thing on our mind…. But it will be the first thing on many people’s mind when someone dies …….

WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU DON'T HAVE A WILL? NSW EDITION
(Written by someone with zero legal training, so take this as friendly advice, not legal counsel!)

I spend a lot of time talking with people about end-of-life planning, and one of the biggest surprises is this: if you don’t have a will, NSW already has one written for you.

It’s called the Succession Act 2006, and it decides exactly who inherits your estate if you die without leaving a legal will (that’s called dying “intestate”, a fancy word for “no paperwork”).

Here’s the gist, minus the legal jargon:
If you have a spouse or partner, they’re first in line.
If you have kids from a previous relationship, the Act divides things up between your spouse and your kids.
If you don’t have a spouse, your kids share everything equally (yes, even kid who hasn't visited for 10 years).
No kids? It goes up the family tree: parents → siblings → nieces/nephews → cousins.
No living relatives? Your estate goes to… wait for it… the NSW Government.

And here’s the kicker: settling an estate without a will usually takes longer, has expenses attached and is more complicated because the court has to appoint someone to handle everything. Think of it like letting your least-organised friend plan your birthday party. It’ll eventually happen, but probably with more chaos, a bunch of people being invited you didn't want and a whole lotta stress.

A valid will, on the other hand, is like sending a detailed party plan with RSVPs, smoother, faster, and much less headache for everyone involved.

I’m not a lawyer (second time I'm mentioning this!!), just someone who thinks we should all have more peace of mind when it comes to life admin. And a will is a pretty solid piece of life admin, not to mention a gift to those left behind who are sorting out your affairs.

So, what’s stopping you? Cost? Overwhelm? Time? If you knew your state government had already written a “default” will for you, would you rather stick with theirs or write your own?

Kelly 💜

01/11/2025

From a stone shed to a beautiful retreat space.

05/10/2025

Thought provoking…. we really do only span 3 generations, maybe 4 if we are lucky. Inspired by a book I’m reading on the train. We live two lives, and how we live and love determines the memories 🪶

10/08/2025

Did you know….

Did you know the minimum standards for a Natural Burial must include the following details;
• Be a single depth burial;
• Have only one body per plot;
• Have not more than one metre of soil above the body or container at the deepest point;
• Use a plant or protein-based material shroud or an eco-friendly biodegradable coffin;
• Not include any plastic unless it is compostable;
• Not include the use of an underground vault; and
• Require the body of the deceased to –
1. Only wear natural protein based or plant based materials;
2. Not have had chemical preparations or plastics used in preparation; and
3. Not be embalmed or having only been embalmed with non-toxic chemicals.

If you have any questions or would like to know more, please visit our website to learn more - www.ndan.com.au

31/07/2025

https://www.facebook.com/share/16kEbdRQXw/?mibextid=wwXIfr

Making artisan plant dyed funeral shrouds for environment friendly & whānau led death care. Personalised shrouds and ready mades. Natural Burial advocate.

18/07/2025

08/07/2025

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/16isQhJXjZ/?mibextid=wwXIfr