19/02/2026
Iāve been a little quiet here, not because things arenāt good, but because when life feels big, I tend to go inward.
This little baby wasnāt part of our carefully mapped plan. We had made peace with being done, loving our rhythm and freedom. And then life shifted for us.
Whilst we are unbelievably grateful, pregnancy is not easy for me. It never has been. HG, exhaustion, depletion, tough postpartum seasons. For a long time I felt like I couldnāt say that out loud, like struggling somehow cancelled out gratitude. Now I know two things can exist at once; deep thankfulness and real physical hardship. Joy and nausea. Excitement and exhaustion.
Over nine years of motherhood, my views on pregnancy, birth and postpartum have completely evolved. I didnāt start here. I started afraid, influenced by horror stories, looking outward for certainty. It took two very different births, beautiful support, hard lessons, a child harmed within a system I once trusted blindly and years of reflection to land where I am now. This perspective was shaped slowly, through lived experience, unlearning and relearning.
I deeply respect modern medicine. In emergencies it is extraordinary. I am grateful it exists. At the same time, I donāt see pregnancy and birth as medical emergencies by default. This time Iāve intentionally curated care that aligns with the woman I am now a blend of medical, midwifery and holistic support. Collaborative. Individualised. Not to prove anything, not to reject anything, but because after experiencing both physiological and medicalised birth, I know what felt most supportive for me.
I genuinely believe women should choose the path that makes them feel safest and most supported.
I share this because I wish I had seen more nuance the first time I was pregnant. Not just fear-based stories, not just glossy highlights. Just women calmly choosing what felt right for them.
Iām protective of the mindset Iāve worked hard to build. I donāt have capacity in this season to absorb fear or projections that arenāt mine.
If this resonates, Iām glad. If it doesnāt, thatās okay too. This is simply our little family, choosing what feels aligned for us right now.
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