Amanda Hallam Couples Counselling

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Hornsby, NSW
Amanda Hallam Couples Counselling

I’m a Couples Therapist and am passionate about supporting couples to feel more connected

06/11/2025

We’ve been taught that apologising means losing. But in love? It’s how you win together.
That moment you set aside pride to say, "I see how I hurt you, and I want to fix it".
That’s not weakness—that’s love rebuilding itself in real time.

COMMENT: What’s one apology that changed YOUR relationship? We’ll read every story. ❤️

05/11/2025

Your wedding album shows your love. Your fights show your commitment.
Here’s what we’d tell our newlywed selves about conflict 👇

"Fights don’t break you—they reveal what you’re made of. Conflict is the fire that forges unshakeable love."

TAG your partner and tell us: What’s ONE fight you’d handle differently now? We’ll reply to every comment! 👇

01/11/2025

Stop Fixing, Start Validating.
"Validation—not fixing—was the key to their spouse sharing their feelings."

I recently worked with a couple who had this breakthrough, and it's the most common trap I see: When one partner shares stress, the other immediately tries to fix it.

The person sharing often feels shut down because they didn't want a consultant; they wanted a witness.

🔑 The Realistic Key
Replace your "fixer impulse" with validation.
Instead of: "You just need to call your boss and tell them..."

Try: "That sounds incredibly stressful. I can see why you're so hurt right now."

This simple acknowledgment builds emotional safety, which is the real foundation for deeper intimacy.

Which part of this is harder for you: listening without fixing, or asking for help without expecting a fix? Share below!

31/10/2025

This isn't selfish—it's essential. We often confuse "deep connection" with "constant togetherness." But when you pour from an empty cup, you end up resenting the relationship instead of enjoying it.

The best thing you can do for your partner today is to tend to yourself.

🔑 The Realistic Action
* Don't wait until you're burned out. Proactively schedule your time alone just like you schedule a date night.
* Communicate the need: "I need 45 minutes to read in the other room to recharge."

Reaffirm the connection: "I look forward to reconnecting after my time out."

Taking space is an act of care for both yourself and your relationship.

What's one thing you plan to do for yourself this week to better show up for your relationship? Share it below!

29/10/2025

A strong relationship isn't built on grand gestures; it's built on emotional safety. This means knowing you can be completely yourself without fear of judgment or punishment.

Ask yourselves: Do you feel safe enough to be vulnerable?

Emotional Safety Checklist:

Can you express anger without your partner withdrawing entirely?

Can you share an insecurity without it being used against you later?

Do you reliably return to warmth and connection after a conflict?

If the answers are "no," your relationship needs a deeper foundation of trust. We can help you build the rules of engagement that make your relationship the safest place on earth.

28/10/2025

When was the last time your conversation wasn't about the kids, the bills, or the chores?

Couples often fall into the Logistical Trap: they perfectly manage a household together, but they forget to nurture the partnership. You become excellent co-managers, but lousy lovers.

To escape the trap, you have to be intentional:

Schedule 15 minutes of "no-agenda time"—no problem-solving allowed.

Ask deep, curious questions: "What was the most surprising moment of your day?" or "What are you excited about next week?"

Talk about dreams, not deadlines.

The magic happens when you reconnect with the person you love, not just the parent or co-signer you live with.

If you're ready to stop co-managing and start connecting, we would love to help. DM us to book your first session today.✨

12/10/2025

Your Relationship Doesn’t Need a Ring to Be Real.
"Society says: ‘Date → Engage → Marry → Buy House → Have Kids.’ But what if that’s not your path?"

Modern relationship success looks like:
✨ Mutual respect for individual goals.
✨ Choosing each other daily, not just at the altar.
✨ Building a life that fits you and not a template.

Love isn’t a checklist. It’s a partnership that honors your unique journey. 💍❌🏡❌👶❌✅
Your Relationship= Your Rules."

Tag someone who redefines relationship goals with you! 👇

11/10/2025

Climate anxiety, job insecurity, or ‘Will we even afford a house?’, the future feels uncertain. This can make couples avoid big talks or feel hopeless.

How to face it together:
🔹 Acknowledge the fear: ‘I’m anxious about X, and I need us to face it as a team.’
🔹 Focus on controllables: ‘We can’t fix the economy, but we can build an emergency fund.’
🔹 Create ‘micro-visions’: ‘What’s one joyful thing we want in 5 years?’ (e.g., a garden, a trip).

You don’t need all the answers, you just need each other. 🌍

What’s one ‘micro-vision’ you share?

Tag your anchor in the storm. 👇

09/10/2025

"Sometimes it’s not disconnection. It’s depletion."

Life stress, burnout, and emotional overload can make it hard to show up in your relationship.
You're not distant because you don’t care you’re just drained.

Therapy helps you sort through the silence and find your way back to each other.
📩 DM to talk or ask about sessions.

08/10/2025

Most couples think the presence of conflict means something is wrong with their relationship.
But in truth? Conflict is normal. It’s how you navigate it that matters.

“The goal isn’t to avoid hard conversations it’s to get better at having them without losing each other.”

In therapy, we don’t eliminate conflict we build the tools to move through it with clarity, care, and connection.

✨ If you and your partner are ready to learn healthier ways to communicate, I’m here to help.
📩 DM to schedule a session or ask a question.

03/10/2025

As a couples therapist, I see this daily: Reactivity destroys connection.
The antidote? Intentional communication:
PAUSE → Interrupt the amygdala hijack.
BREATHE → Activate your calming response.
REWORD → Express needs without criticism.
🧠 Practice this, and watch your conflict dynamic transform.

-You hold the power to turn arguments into intimacy—one pause at a time.

Save this for your next disagreement. You both deserve to feel heard, not hurt.

02/10/2025

Last week, a couple realised their 'fight about date nights' was really about 'feeling desired.' What’s yours?"��
Let’s be honest: Fighting with your partner hurts.
But here’s the truth: Conflict isn’t the enemy, disconnection is.��Healing happens when We ask "What do you need?" instead of "You’re wrong!�We remember: This person loves you, even when they’re terrible at showing it.

Your relationship isn’t broken, it’s asking for a new language.
�Ready to learn it?�Comment "HEAL" below, and we’ll DM you a first step.

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Hornsby, NSW

Website

http://www.amandahallam.com.au/

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