11/11/2025
Hello đź‘‹
This is hard for me to do, because I just want to shrink into the background, but I thought I would post this update on what is happening at Valinor.
It’s been almost 2 months since my beautiful daughter Zoe suddenly and tragically left this world.
Since then, life has changed for me.
I no longer care about so many things that I deeply cared about before.
I haven’t been able to function properly - mentally, emotionally, physically.
The spark of light has gone from my life. I’m not much interested in either local or world events. I simply don’t care. All I care about is the fact that she is no longer here for the entire rest of my life, however long that will be, and I wish I could just fast track that.
I used to want to live a long life but that has changed now.
Really, the only thing keeping me here and keeping me sane is my beloved fur and feathered babes and of course, my family. And now we have Zoe’s furbabe to care for too. His sadness and loss breaks more pieces off my heart.
I closed down for a while simply because I couldn’t function, and I’ve just been letting life swirl around me and pass me by while I sit in this empty space. I still am not functioning well, but at the same time, I’m realising that while I do this, my mental, emotional and physical health is deteriorating at an alarming rate, and even though that is still not enough to make me care about me, the realisation that I need to care for others that depend on me, has made me think I need to pick up my game a bit.
Also the fact that life around me hasn’t stopped and the bills keep rolling in and threaten to break me and my loved ones a bit more if I don’t get up and do something about it.
Really I just want to give up on life on planet earth and find no joy or pleasure in anything anymore.
But I’m literally going to manually pick myself up and drag myself to the finish line with this big hole in my battered heart. Because that is what I must do, and if I have to, I will do it in the darkness, because there is no sunshine here anymore.
The future of Valinor is held in shaky hands.
Anyway. I’m taking time out but I have planned to do 4 Pop Up Sound Relaxation events in December and early January for Christmas and the New Year, to see how I go and how well received this may be, before I go away for a while in January and then make plans for 2026, from February or March.
Everything is up in the air at the moment but I will try to ground in for these events.
I will post the dates & links soon for those who could possibly be interested.
I truly understand if you would prefer not to attend at this time.
I would also like to take this opportunity to Thank you all for your support and for those who have sent me special messages. Your support has meant a lot to me, even though I havent been able to talk to everyone personally, please know you are appreciated.
Since her passing I have received many messages and coincidences from her that cannot be denied. This brings some small comfort.
It’s nice to know she is good and free of pain & suffering.
I have posted a picture of my beautiful, bold, feisty, buzzy, bright, gorgeous girl, just do you can see how absolutely gorgeous and larger than life, she was, and so you can touch on the depth of my loss, and the loss to this world.
I love you my beautiful Zoe ❤️
