03/12/2025
Darkness doesn’t have a power of its own. It is fed. That’s what they told me before I started my journey through fear. I adjusted my sword, my only weapon, and bid farewell to my guides. They were not to come with me on this journey – this was to be done alone. My first one without their protection.
I stood quietly at the entrance for what felt like hours, imagining all the demons and what they may do to me. Pep talking to myself was not the least bit effective. I had no backup this time, and I knew that once I took that first step in, there was no way I would be able to turn around. A hand touched my shoulder and I turned to see one of my guides who beckoned towards a cave wall. As I looked, I saw my reflection and was asked, ‘What do you see?’ I looked and said that I just saw myself. I was told to close my eyes, feel into the depths of myself, then look again. I opened my eyes and there she was. The Warrior; black paint on the face, bear coat around the shoulders, sword in hand, fire in her eyes. He whispered, ‘Remember who you are.’
Taking a deep breath, I turned back to the doorway and closed my eyes, suddenly realizing that the only demons I would be facing would be my own. But was I strong enough? Not yet, but I would not grow if I did not step into the lesson. So I did.
There were demons, death, fierce guardians, challenges, and lots of fear.
There were also moments I had to learn to stop and breathe, to raise my sword, to not be afraid to fight.
I was fighting to keep my power.
I was dragged under, scratched, threatened, coerced, and tricked.
And in those moments, I remembered the words – Trust. Keep your eyes open. Don’t forget to fight. You do not need permission, for you are the guardian of your own soul.
I was fighting to keep my power.
I won.
They were there waiting for me at the other end. No words, just presence.
Dragon took my sword and laid it on the earth in front of me. It was covered in chips and scratches.
‘These chips are just moments. They do not make the sword any less effective. This is a reminder of what you are capable of.’
He picked it back up and took it back to the fire, keeping it safe until next time.
My lesson was over.
This time, I had won.
