Idi Pimenta Heart Centred Relationship Coach

30/10/2025

Safety within, and safety together, both can be earned and built over time 🧡

30/10/2025

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An absence of vulnerability may be due to a lack of safety.

29/10/2025

"Let her cry,
if her tears fall down like rain"

Hootie & the Blowfish
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Crying is a bioregulatory process. When we cry, our body releases built-up activation, the physiological charge of pain, fear, or grief.

Tears, breath, and sound all help shift the nervous system from isolation toward connection.

If someone is present and attuned, the act of crying allows the system to move from overwhelm toward integration, restoring balance.

In pain, crying doesn’t just express distress; it alsohelps the body find safety again.

Yep, in our corporatized Western mainstream left-brain culture, crying is considered a sign of weakness. It asks, "How dare you need to come back into balance?"

Interpersonal Neurobiology says, "Balance is my birthright."



IMAGE: detail from my watercolor, "Crying Under the Window," while it was in process. It depicts when I was so worn down from too much abuse and not enough care that all I could do was lie in bed and cry. I was 14 years old.

23/09/2025

"Take it, use it, love it"
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22/09/2025

'The greatest gift we can bring to any relationship is our own wholeness'

Many grow up believing that love means finding someone to “complete” them. Someone to fill the hollow spaces, smooth over the rough edges, and overlook flaws. This view frames love as something external, something granted by another person’s acceptance or blindness.

Yet, there’s a deeper understanding of love.
One that begins not in the spark of attraction, but in the quiet, often difficult moments of self-recognition. Mature love emerges when we notice our patterns: the ways we deflect intimacy just as closeness appears, the ways we chase validation in the wrong places, or the ways we carry wounds our younger selves never learned to heal.

This kind of love begins with a mirror, not a window. To practice it is to engage in the hard, generous work of seeing oneself clearly:

• To recognize protective habits that no longer serve.
• To acknowledge fears and walls without judgment.
• To extend compassion to the imperfect, still-learning self.

Unlike the stories told in romance novels, this love is not marked by fancy gestures or sweeping declarations. It is marked by the daily courage of choosing growth over comfort, of breaking cycles instead of perpetuating them, of meeting one’s own pain with compassion instead of criticism.

When we learn to hold contradictions without rushing to resolve them, when we embrace the person we are today while still working toward who we are becoming, we create the conditions for authentic connection. From this place, love does not demand a saviour, a therapist, or a solution. Instead, it declares: I am whole and still healing. I want to know you in your wholeness too.

This form of love is underrated precisely because it does not require another person to exist. It is the love affair between who we are and who we are becoming, and it makes every other love deeper, freer, and more honest.

Ultimately, the greatest gift we can bring to any relationship is our own wholeness: a willingness to meet life and love from a place of abundance rather than lack. To love in this way is to move beyond possession, beyond conditions, into a courageous, conscious aliveness.

22/09/2025

"I'm not here to be understood
I'm here to be true"
Chase Hughes

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21/09/2025

Embodied Power.
The Haka demonstrates natural aggression in its healthiest form; what Peter Levine founder of Somatic Experiencing®, describes as instinctive, embodied energy.

This is the energy that helps us assert ourselves, protect our boundaries, and fully inhabit our bodies. In a world that often teaches women to suppress intensity, the haka offers permission to feel strong, assertive, and fully present in our bodies.

Let's normalise the safety of feeling strong, vital, and assertive.
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21/09/2025

Words can sound reassuring, and labels can give us a sense of clarity, but they don’t always reflect how the relationship actually feels. Behaviour, over time, is what shows us whether there is safety, consistency, and trust.

Noticing this isn’t about blame or judgement. It’s about respecting our own nervous system and what it senses; so we can discern which connections feel nourishing, and which ones may not.

Relational safety emerges when behaviour and words align, and both people show up with care and integrity.
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