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The Nurtured Parent

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The Nurtured Parent

Jessica Schembri 🧠 psychologist 👶 mumma 🤱 matrescence educator. Nurture you 2 nurture your child.

20/12/2022

Just in case you needed it.
🌸

22/08/2022

Such a vulnerable time in a women’s life journey.

Let’s have a think about how we can support mothers; and how you can support yourself.
Share your ideas below 👇
🌸🌸

01/07/2022

Over summer I was reading Michelle Obama’s autobiography and her thoughts around being a working mum really resonated with me. She wrote:

“A part time job, especially when it’s meant to be a scaled down version of your previous full time job, can be something of a trap….. I made half my original salary and was trying to cram everything into a 20 hour week.”

“A sanity warping double bind. I battled guilt when I had to take work calls at home. I battled a different sort of guilt when I sat at my office, distracted by the idea that my daughter might be allergic to peanuts.”

“Part time work was meant to give me more freedom, but mostly it left me feeling as if I was only half doing everything. That all the lines in my life had been blurred.”

✨I’m not trying to paint a picture here that all work at a mum is “bad”. As it’s certainly not at all! What I am trying to communicate here is that, as with life, there are challenges that come with the benefits.

⭐️After my first babe was born, I really looked forward to returning to work. I missed the social connection, the intellectual stimulation. It was great to be back!
But what I found what that with the enjoyable aspects, there were some tough juggles and big emotions that were tricky at times.

🌙The previous experience of returning to work after my fist child is going to shape what I do when I head back after my current maternity leave.
The experience has shaped me. Helped me grow. Learnt things about myself and values. I’m thankful for that.

💬How did you find returning to work? ⬇️

29/06/2022

Working mum life can be really tough. There’s a logistical juggle. Guilt. Exhaustion. Preoccupation for both work and family. It’s tough.
Though, there are also many pluses that come out of working.

This illustration really resonated with me - trying to split my mind at times!

How do you manage mum/work juggle?

🎨

28/06/2022

Spotlight on perinatal psychology

22/06/2022

PMAD - Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders - difficulties with emotions, thoughts, behaviours that occur during the perinatal period.

Support and recovery are possible.

Please reach out to someone you trust or a health care provider if you think you might be experiencing mood and anxiety challenges in the perinatal period.

08/06/2022

Stage 3-4 occurring here!!

I knew it would happen but I forgot how much hair comes out.
Even though I know it grows back, I can’t help but find it a bit uncomfortable every time I brush my hair and collect handfuls.

Give us a 🤍 if you experienced postpartum hair loss too.

04/06/2022

M U M M A • M U S I N G S

The first few weeks after giving birth were a blur. Running on very little sleep, but very much in our little love bubble…

Gradually that loved-up feeling started to fade as sleep deprivation began to consume me.

My mind was plagued with anxiety, especially surrounding his sleep. I felt like the biggest failure because I could not get him to sleep on his own through the night.

I now know how unrealistic those expectations were, but at the time that’s what seemed like the most important thing.

As soon as the sun went down I would start to panic. I was sick to my stomach at the thought of another night full of wake ups and very little sleep.

Our struggles with sleep went on for months and months. My constant anxiety was soon accompanied by a dark and heavy depression.

The isolation of living in lockdown for most of the year definitely made it worse. I felt like I was drowning and no one knew how to save me.

Eventually, I reached out for help and started seeing a psychologist and taking medication. Both of these things have helped me immensely.

There is no “quick fix” when it comes to mental illness. Recovery can be a long and arduous journey.

I am nearly 3 years postpartum now and I am not completely free from my depression and anxiety. I still have ups and downs, good days and bad days. However, I am much more in tune with myself. I have built up a support network and I am learning how to live with and make the most of life with mental illness.

Often as mothers, we feel the need to just soldier on, that asking for help means we are less capable or not good enough.

The truth is that we were never meant to do this alone. It is important to ask for help and to be able to take breaks. It is no wonder so many of us experience postnatal depression and anxiety when our needs are just not being met.

If you are reading this and feel you need help, please reach out.

You are not alone ♥️
- Jadejade

17/05/2022

It happens to all of us.

What sparks your anger?

For me it’s when I have too much on my plate.

🎨 ⭐️

15/05/2022

M U M M A • M U S I N G S

The road to motherhood for me was almost a 4 year journey. It involved lots of anxiety, hormones, tests, scans, natural medicines, money, time, energy and consumed a great deal of my world.

Together, we put off holidays, missed family and friends milestone events, removed ourself from so many social situations with others because sometimes it was just all too hard to see others enjoy their beautiful family whilst wanting and working so hard to have our own.

But I think it led me to you. I think you were the only child that me and your dad were supposed to raise. I now see why I didn't fall pregnant sooner, it's because I was meant to be your mum and you were meant to be my son.

Abby, mum to 1

13/05/2022

It’s the invisible/cognitive labour of running a household/family. Running through mental lists, what’s for dinner? what is the toddler eating for lunch? when is show and tell again? what’s the weather today? Do i need to pack a jacket; we are out of nappies again, I need to get some more; when did I worm the dog last? And on and on.

When you type mental load into google, one of the top searched questions is “how to explain mental load to my husband”. It says something doesn’t it. Many women, in particular, often describe feeling as if their partner doesn’t understand. Men of course can feel similar pressures too.

Unaddressed, the dissatisfaction and pressure of the mental load of parenting can lead to increased stress, and resentment towards your partner.

It’s important to address it as early as you can before the resentment festers.

09/05/2022

Give us a 💙 if you can relate to this one!

The mental load of parenting - it’s exhausting.

A friend shared this on her socials over the weekend and it resonated with what so many women talk about. Not one mother I know hasn’t chatted with me about the motherhood mental load.

Tell us a little about what it’s like for you ⬇️

DM for credit. I can’t quite make out the watermark.

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