21/10/2025
You know that hottie youâve been seeing, how theyâve taken over your brain đ§ and you canât think of anyone or anything else đ? And youâre hanging out for a text đŹ, a loving moment đ, anything to make you feel that this obsession could turn into a long term love? But youâre left unread, that loving moment is followed by multiple instances of being let down đemotionally injured, feeling panicked đ«Šthat theyâre withdrawing from you? And it feels like the most intense but painful emotional roller coaster đą ride of your life? But as bad as this feels, you canât let go đđ„ You know itâs eroding your self respect, eroding any sense of stability you had worked so hard to achieve, but you still justify it as chemistry and tbh you probably havenât felt this switched on đ°since the last intense romance. Take a step back and look at this feeling, does it remind you of how you used to feel as a child? Ask yourself whether you felt truly emotionally safe as a child, perhaps love felt unpredictable or conditional â ïž. Whatâs happening is that your nervous system is recognising a similar level of inconsistency and lack of safety from your childhood. This âsparkâ âelectricityâ đĄisnât romance or chemistry, thatâs your nervous system reacting to what feels familiar to you. And because it feels familiar, your anxiety at some level reduces. Youâre used to this chaos, but that doesnât mean that this electric feeling is chemistry. That spark âĄïž : itâs anxiety dressed as romance â€ïžâđ©č. To save yourself a good few decades of this old wound bleeding, work on the wound not the dodgy band aid đ©č and help it heal.