08/04/2026
The reality of stripping: Stella’s story
“Every day was long. Every day was hard. Every day someone forced me in some way – either licked, bit or poked me, sometimes even pe*****ted me, held me down, hurt me. Then there was the verbal degradation, by the customers and even ourselves. ‘Come here b*tch and dance on this’, ‘oh yeah, let me be your little wh*re’. They cut in, those words, they get inside you.
“My relationships suffered; I was becoming more and more isolated. I started using he**in to soothe the pain, all of the pain: the physical pain of my deteriorating knees and back; the emotional pain of being nothing, negative space, dirt, sl*t, wh*re, stripper, ju**ie.
“My personal grief was immense – the time wasted, the damage done, the lack of self-love, all stung me deeply and I struggled to heal. Writing this today, 12 years later, my eyes still prick with tears, and the fear that my own 3 daughters might suffer the same experiences and the fact that I may be incapable of stopping them, truly stills my heart.
“I didn’t think that stripping would have the profound and long reaching effect on my life that it did. I didn’t realise that when I left it, it might not leave me, that each time I sold myself, each time I danced p*rnography, I altered myself, redefined myself, demeaned myself, erased myself on a fundamental level. The trauma from dancing came in many guises and has taken a long time to recover from. I left with my self-esteem in shreds, my pockets empty, my body damaged, and my heart filled with shame, both self-imposed and compounded by the social stigma of being a ju**ie stripper. It was a hair-raising ride to the bottom. I often wonder where life would have taken me if I hadn’t been pressed by circumstance to become a stripper, if I had lived in a world without strip clubs, brothels, and other institutions built on the trade of flesh and so heavily reliant on people in compromised positions to feed them. I passionately hope that my daughters might inhabit such a world.”
-Stella, Dancing P**nography
As published in Big P**n Inc: Exposing the Harms of the Global P**nography Industry, edited by Movement Director Melinda Tankard Reist and Abigail Bray.