Launceston Counselling and Hypnotherapy Services

10/02/2026

When timing becomes clearer

This tends to show up quietly once the year is properly underway, often after the initial pace has settled. It is more common for people who have already done a lot of reflecting and working things through on their own.

By this stage, most people are no longer asking whether they understand themselves. That question has usually been settled. What begins to surface instead is a subtler assessment of timing. A sense of whether continuing on one’s own still makes sense in the same way it once did.

For a long period, staying self-directed can feel appropriate. Reflection helps. Insight clarifies. Effort produces enough movement to keep life functioning. There is no crisis demanding intervention and no obvious reason to change course.

What gradually becomes apparent is not that things are worse. It is that familiar patterns keep returning despite understanding and effort. Reactions soften for a while and then reappear. Decisions are made, revisited, and made again. Energy is managed rather than genuinely restored.

At that point, the question is no longer about capability. It becomes a question of efficiency and context.

When the work has shifted from understanding to reorganisation, timing matters. Support at this stage is not about fixing something that is broken. It is about creating the conditions for long-held responses to stand down, without relying on effort alone.

At this point, therapy functions less as guidance and more as a framework. It holds pacing, attention, and safety while change happens over time. That change is helped by another nervous system in the room. It is supported by pacing that does not keep attention turned inward, and by a structure that allows experience to do the work rather than explanation.

People often recognise this moment quietly. Sometimes it develops gradually. Sometimes it becomes clear all at once. What tends to be consistent is the sense that continuing alone is no longer adding anything new, even though nothing is obviously wrong.

This is not a call to act. It is simply an observation about timing. Noticing whether things are easing with time or returning in familiar loops is often what clarifies what comes next, without pressure to decide immediately.

09/02/2026

This tends to show up quietly once the year is properly underway.

By this stage, most people are no longer asking whether they understand themselves. That question has usually been settled. What begins to surface instead is a subtler assessment of timing, a sense of whether continuing on one’s own still makes sense in the same way it once did.

For a long period, staying self-directed can feel appropriate. Reflection helps. Insight clarifies. Effort produces enough movement to keep life functioning. There is no crisis demanding intervention and no obvious reason to change course. What gradually becomes apparent is not that things are worse, but that familiar patterns keep returning despite insight and effort.

Reactions soften for a while and then reappear. Decisions are made, revisited, and made again. Energy is managed rather than restored.
At that point, the question is no longer about capability. It becomes a question of efficiency and context.

When the work has shifted from understanding to reorganisation, timing matters. Support at this stage is not about fixing something that is broken. It is about creating the conditions for long-held responses to stand down without relying on effort. At this point, therapy functions less as guidance and more as a framework that holds pacing, attention, and safety while change happens. That kind of change is supported by another nervous system in the room, by pacing that does not keep attention turned inward all the time, and by a structure that allows experience to do the work rather than explanation.

People often recognise this moment quietly. Sometimes it develops gradually. Sometimes it becomes clear all at once. What tends to be consistent is the sense that continuing alone is no longer adding anything new, even though nothing is obviously wrong.

When support enters at this stage, the work is usually straightforward. There is less explaining, less convincing, and less need to revisit the past. The focus is practical and contained, oriented toward what is already ready to move.

This is not a call to act. It is simply an observation about timing. If what you are carrying is easing with time, that is useful information. If it is returning in familiar loops despite insight and effort, that is also useful information. Being able to notice the difference often clarifies what comes next.

31/01/2026

When Understanding Is No Longer the Work

At this point in January, many people notice a particular kind of friction.

Not a crisis. Not a collapse. Just the sense that things are not quite settling, even though the rush of the year’s start has passed.
For some, it shows up as repeated internal conversations. The same questions turning over. The same decisions revisited. For others, it is a background tension that never fully switches off, even when life looks functional from the outside. Work is happening. Relationships continue. Sleep might even be reasonable. And yet something keeps asking for attention.

This is often the stage where people pause and wonder whether what they have been doing on their own is still enough. Not because they have failed, but because the patterns themselves are familiar now. What once felt manageable begins to feel circular.
In my experience, people rarely begin therapeutic work at a moment of dramatic breakdown. More often, they start here. At the point where insight exists, effort has been made, and yet the same emotional loops continue to reappear.

What is easy to miss at this stage is that the issue is rarely a lack of understanding.

By the time people reach this point, they usually know themselves well. They understand their patterns. They recognise when old reactions are being activated. They can explain why something feels the way it does.

And yet, those reactions still arrive.

This is where many people assume they need to understand themselves better. They revisit the story. They wait for the moment when it finally clicks.

But what usually hasn’t happened yet is reorganisation at the level where reactions are formed.

Much of what we call coping is learned early and kept in place long after it is needed. These strategies worked when they were needed. They reduced risk. They kept relationships intact. They helped you function when other options were not available.

The system that learned those strategies does not update itself through insight alone. It updates through experience. Through conditions that signal safety, choice, and permission to respond differently in real time.

This is why people can understand themselves deeply and still find their body reacting faster than their thinking. The system is doing what it was trained to do. It has not yet been shown that it can stand down.

At this stage, the work changes.

The focus is no longer on making sense of the past or refining explanations. It shifts toward allowing long-held responses to loosen through lived experience, not analysis. Through pacing. Through attention to what happens between people, not just inside one person’s head.

This is also showing up when people say they do not want to “talk things through again”. This is not resistance. It is information. It signals that talking is no longer the lever.

When this stage is addressed properly, the changes are often quiet but practical. Decisions tend to feel less loaded. Emotional swings become easier to ride without being thrown off course. The internal debate softens. Not because life becomes simple, but because it becomes clearer.

Nothing dramatic has been done.

But the work is finally happening at the level where change actually takes place.

Many people sit with this moment for a while. They read. They reflect. They notice what eases and what quietly repeats. Others recognise, sometimes quite suddenly, that continuing alone is no longer helping in the way it once did. Neither approach is wrong. Both are part of how readiness develops.

This is often the point where support becomes useful again, precisely because the work has changed.

For now, it is enough to notice whether what you are carrying is easing with time, or returning in familiar loops that no longer respond to effort.

13/01/2026

When Insight Isn’t the Problem Anymore

For many people, the work begins with understanding.
You notice the pattern. You can describe how it formed. You may even see how it has played out across years or relationships. There is a sense of clarity that was not there before.

And yet, something does not shift.

The same emotional loops keep reappearing. The same reactions arrive before you can intercept them. The same conversations stall in familiar places. Nothing feels chaotic, but nothing feels resolved either.

You might notice it in a familiar moment: a conversation tightens before it finishes, an old urge arrives faster than your awareness, or a reaction lands even though you saw it coming.

This is often the point where people start to doubt themselves. They wonder whether they are missing something, avoiding something, or failing to apply what they already know. In reality, this plateau is not a personal shortcoming. It is a predictable limit of insight on its own.

Understanding a pattern does not automatically change how a system responds inside it. Long-standing habits of protection, withdrawal, control, or accommodation are not maintained by lack of awareness. They are maintained because, at some point, they were necessary. They live in timing, tone, and bodily response as much as in thought.

There comes a stage where more reflection does not deepen change. It simply circles it.

This is often the moment when working with another person, in a structured and attuned way, becomes useful. Not because something is wrong, and not because insight has failed, but because some shifts only occur in relationship. Pacing, interruption of old loops, and the experience of being met differently cannot be generated alone. They are relational processes.

When therapy is working well at this stage, it does not add pressure or urgency. It creates enough steadiness for something new to be tolerated. Change tends to arrive quietly, through repetition rather than insight. A reaction softens sooner. A familiar urge loses some of its grip. A conversation moves a little further before tightening again.

These are not dramatic moments, but they are decisive ones.

Many people arrive here after years of doing the right things. They have read widely. They have reflected honestly. They have carried responsibility well. Reaching this point is not a failure of independence. It is often a sign that continuing alone is no longer the most efficient way forward.

For some, this is where familiar patterns quietly start costing more than they return.

For others, it is simply where working with the right support starts to make sense.

Not urgently.

Just in time.

06/01/2026

After the Break: Why Getting Going Again Feels Harder Than Expected

Each January, many men notice the same strange pattern. Work has resumed. Routines are technically back in place. Yet something drags. Motivation is thinner than expected. Patience runs out faster. The day feels heavier than it should.

This is not a lack of discipline or drive. It is a false restart.

A false restart happens when external demands return faster than the nervous system can fully re-engage. Time off lowers load. Returning too quickly creates a lag where the body is back at work, but internally things have not quite caught up. That gap is where irritability, flatness, and low-grade tension tend to appear.

I see this most often in men who are otherwise functioning well. Capable. Responsible. Getting things done. Because everything looks fine from the outside, this phase is easy to misread. Many men assume something is wrong with them. They push harder. They add pressure.

That response usually prolongs the problem.

What helps here is not motivation. It is traction.

Traction comes from narrowing the field for a short period. Fewer decisions. Predictable routines. Clear start and finish points to the day. Small, contained wins that allow momentum to rebuild without forcing it. This is how the system completes the restart efficiently, without burning extra energy.

This is one of those predictable phases that sits quietly between rest and full momentum, and it tends to resolve when it is recognised rather than pushed through.

When this phase is ignored, it often leaks sideways. Shorter fuse at home. Irritability at work. Decisions made from strain rather than clarity. The cost is rarely dramatic, but it accumulates.

None of this means you are off track. It means your system is still finishing the transition.

Once this phase passes, most men notice their focus and patience return without effort, often wondering why they pushed themselves so hard in the first place. Knowing which phase you are in quietly changes how you respond to it.

If you know a man who is back at work but feels oddly out of step, this often puts language around what is happening.

31/12/2025

When the Year Turns Quiet: Finding Your Way Into the New Year

The last week of December often feels suspended, as if the world is taking a slow breath before the next chapter begins. In Launceston, the evenings stay light a little longer. Families sit in backyards with leftover pavlova. Neighbours water their gardens. The city moves at half speed while people think about the year that was and the year that is forming just ahead of them.

In a small home on the northern side of the city, a father and his teenage son sat at the kitchen table on New Year’s Eve. The dishes from dinner were stacked near the sink. A bowl of cherries sat between them. Neither felt the need to fill the space with talk. Some silences arrive ready to be shared.

It was their first New Year without Nan. The first time the house felt larger than the two of them. The father noticed the soft strain around his son’s eyes, a quiet sign of someone holding more than he wants to say. The boy had always been thoughtful. He said little when things mattered most.

Outside, a few early fireworks cracked in the distance. The boy looked up, then rested his elbows on the table.

“Do you think the new year will feel different?” he asked, as if he already sensed that most change starts inside long before the calendar catches up.

The father paused. He felt the familiar ache of wanting to give his son steady answers when life did not always offer them. The air in the room carried that same echo he had felt at Christmas, a sense of the lives that had shaped this house. Grief has a way of stretching time. It slows the present just enough that people feel the weight of what is missing.

“I think the new year begins quietly,” he said. “It changes a little each time we change, and most people only notice once something in them starts to shift.”

The boy nodded in that way young people do when they understand more than they say. He asked if they could go for a walk before midnight. The father agreed. It was the kind of request that fits easily into a night like this, whether someone is ready to think things through now or a bit later on.

They stepped out into the warm Tasmanian evening. The street carried the soft scent of summer and warm concrete. Cicadas pulsed in the distance. They passed houses where people were gathering, laughing, counting the hours until midnight. The father felt his son walk closer beside him, not touching, but near enough that the intention was clear.

Rituals take shape in small ways. A shared walk. A question asked at the right moment. A breath held between two people trying to work out where they stand in the turning of a year.

At the corner where Nan used to stop and chat with neighbours, they paused. The boy looked down at the footpath, then up at the sky. The father felt a quiet shift, something opening inside the silence.

Grief often marks a point where people start seeing themselves, and others, a little differently. These moments do not force change. They invite it. They sit quietly until someone is ready to step through. This is something I have seen many times in my clinical work with people navigating loss, identity, and transition.

The boy let out a slow breath, the kind someone gives when a feeling has moved through them without needing many words.

“Can we think about the year ahead?” he asked. “Not goals. Just the things that help us feel steady.”

The father felt warmth rise in his chest. Not happiness exactly. Something steadier. Something that carried the presence of their family as it had been and the family they were becoming now.

Moments like these often reveal what a person wants to strengthen in themselves.

They turned back towards home, the night settling around them in that way late December often does, quietly reminding people of what feels worth carrying into the new year and what no longer does. Fireworks flickered in the distance as they walked. A new year forming, not with noise, but with two people side by side, ready to shape the days ahead in their own time.

Thresholds do not need celebration. They unfold in quiet moments when someone feels ready to step forward. When people listen beneath their own thoughts, they often find the next step waiting there.

If the turning of the year brings reflection, heaviness or uncertainty for you, having space to talk with someone who understands how identity, loss and renewal weave together can help you find steady ground. This is the kind of work I offer. Sometimes it begins simply by slowing things down and making sense of what you are carrying.

27/12/2025

Where Memory Lives at Christmas

Late afternoon light filled a Launceston living room. No lamps on yet. A half-open box of decorations on the floor. A boy holding a string of lights. A father watching closely, noticing the pauses that appear when a child is carrying more than he can say.
It was their first Christmas without Nan.

For many men, grief does not arrive as tears or speeches. It shows up in ordinary moments. In decisions about where the tree goes. In whether to keep a tradition or quietly let it change. In the weight felt in the room, even when nothing is said.

This father had already carried loss. Years earlier, his partner died while his son was still young. He never repartnered. Moving back in with his mum had steadied the family. She became the third point holding them together. Now she was gone too.

The room felt different. As if it remembered what had been held there before.

The boy asked if they could put the tree in the same corner as last year. Practical words. A deeper question underneath. The father shifted the furniture without comment. A small action. A clear signal of safety.

Children grieve through movement, not explanation. They watch closely to see whether the adult beside them can hold what they cannot yet name. That watching shapes who they become.

The father felt the familiar urge to brighten the moment. To protect by smoothing over the weight. Many men do this. They keep going. They minimise. They hold it together.

Instead, he sat down and asked which decoration Nan loved most. The boy chose a worn ornament dusted with red glitter. They held it quietly together. No fixing. No rushing.

That pause mattered.

When men allow grief to exist without shutting it down, something steadier forms. Children learn that sadness is not dangerous. They learn that strength does not require speed. They learn that being anchored does not mean being untouched.

As the tree filled out, the boy stood a little closer each time. Passing ornaments. Staying near. Trust building without words.
Grief rearranges the structure of a family. It asks men to step into roles they were not trained for. It reshapes identity, responsibility, and how leadership looks inside the home.

For more than two decades, this is the kind of quiet moment men have brought into the counselling room. Not crises. Turning points.
For single fathers, partners, and men carrying quiet loss, Christmas can sharpen what has already been present all year. The season slows just enough for memory to surface.

This is something I see with men here in Launceston and across Tasmania, as well as with English-speaking clients living further afield. Grief does not change much with postcode or time zone.

Counselling offers a grounded place to steady yourself, make sense of what this season brings up, and lead your life with more clarity and less weight. Especially when you are used to carrying things alone.

A first conversation helps you orient yourself and decide what support, if any, fits from here.

Launceston-based. Available across Tasmania and internationally via secure telehealth.

Book a first conversation or explore counselling options here:
www.launcestoncounsellingandhypnotherapy.com/contact

You do not need to hold everything by yourself.

25/12/2025

20/12/2025

At the Year’s Turning

As the year winds down, many people notice a particular kind of tiredness settle in. Not the tiredness of a busy week, but the quieter exhaustion that follows months of holding things together. December often asks for momentum just as internal reserves are thinning. If that is how this season feels, it makes sense.

Christmas can bring connection and meaning. It can also bring pressure, old patterns, and a sense of emotional flatness once the pace finally slows. Both experiences can exist side by side. Whether you mark Christmas, another tradition, or simply the turning of the year, there is no requirement to perform this time in any particular way. It is allowed to be quieter than expected.

Right now, regulation matters more than resolution. This is not the season to fix everything or make major internal decisions. It is a time to pace yourself, protect energy, and notice when rest supports you more than effort. Small choices matter. Adequate sleep. Stepping back from depleting conversations. Being mindful with alcohol. Letting simple routines hold you when motivation dips. These are not indulgences. They support the nervous system so balance can return.

Christina Rossetti, a nineteenth-century UK poet, wrote that “a stable place sufficed”. When energy is low, steadiness matters more than striving.

A dip after the festive period is also common. The shift from intensity to quiet can surface feelings that were previously held at bay. Nothing has gone wrong if relief and heaviness arrive together. Allowing both often prevents unnecessary self-judgment.
I want to acknowledge the honesty and courage of those I have worked with this year. Clients and supervisees alike bring their inner lives, responsibility, uncertainty, and values into reflective space. That willingness to look closely matters, and it continues to shape the depth of this work.

August 2025 marks twenty years since I began clinical practice. Over time, my work has deepened, with increasing attention to the quieter inner dimensions of experience where patterns, meaning, identity, and values intersect. More people are now seeking work that addresses not only symptoms, but how they live with themselves over time.

Over the past year, my practice has expanded beyond Tasmania, with people working with me online across Australia and internationally. I currently have increased capacity for new clients and clinicians seeking supervision in 2025.

I will be away from regular sessions from 24 December to 3 January, returning on 5 January, and largely offline during that time. In Australia, Lifeline remains available on 13 11 14, with local emergency services available where relevant.

As the year turns, there is no need to rush. Integration often happens quietly, once pressure eases. When you are ready to reconnect, the work can continue at a pace that respects where you are.

Wishing you a steady close to the year and a supported Christmas period.

Luigi Romanelli MAASW

Launceston Counselling and Hypnotherapy Services: Suite 9, 144 Brisbane St Launceston TAS 7250 Tel: 0417 768 294 Email: launcestoncahs@gmail.com

15/12/2025

After Bondi: Making Sense of Shock

What happened at Bondi has landed heavily. Shock travels fast. So does fear. When violence erupts in a familiar public place, the nervous system searches for meaning, cause, someone to blame. That response is human. It is also the moment where care is needed.

People of all faiths and none were caught up in a tragic scene on what happened to be the first evening of Hanukkah. Innocent people were injured and killed. Families and communities were changed in an instant. Details are still being clarified, and speculation will not bring understanding or relief. Conspiracy, blame and premature commentary often deepen distress rather than contain it.

I was in Bondi in late July for training. On the Saturday evening, a small group of us spent time near the beach among throngs of others. It felt warm, safe and alive. A shared public space where people moved easily and enjoyed being together. That is the Bondi many people know and care about. That familiarity is part of why the impact feels so unsettling.

For those who live, work, or regularly spend time in the Bondi area, the impact may feel especially close. When a familiar place is disrupted, a sense of safety can take longer to settle.

As a Tasmanian, I am aware that events like this do not fade quickly. Their impact ripples for years, in visible and subtle ways. Public confidence, personal safety, community trust. These are shaped over time, and they are also repaired over time.

In moments like this, the mind seeks certainty while the body absorbs shock. Media saturation can keep the stress response switched on. Repeated exposure does not equal processing. Often it does the opposite. Stepping back from the noise is not avoidance. It is regulation.

For some people, reactions may come later rather than immediately. Disturbed sleep, heightened vigilance, irritability, or unease can emerge days or weeks after the event. This is a common response to shock, particularly for those with previous experiences of trauma or loss.

There are already stories of extraordinary bravery and quiet kindness. Strangers helping strangers. People moving toward danger to protect others. First responders acting with courage and steadiness. These moments matter. They show what communities do under pressure and remind us of the goodness that still moves, even when the world feels fractured.

It can help to be intentional about what is taken in. Limiting the viewing and sharing of graphic or distressing content reduces harm, especially around children and those already impacted by trauma. Choosing familiar or gently uplifting music can also support regulation and restore balance.

It can help to mark what has happened in a simple, grounded way. Light a candle. Sit quietly. Spend time in prayer, meditation, or reflective silence in whatever form fits your life. Take a gentle walk. Feel your feet on the ground. Breathe slowly. Let the body settle before asking it to make sense of anything.

Strong emotions will move through different people in different ways. Anger, sadness, fear, numbness, confusion. None require fixing or broadcasting. They benefit from being expressed safely and respectfully. Speak with someone you trust. Write privately. Hold space for children without overwhelming them with detail.
What matters now is that people support each other and seek professional support when it is needed. This may be a brief check-in rather than ongoing therapy. Reaching out is part of taking care of yourself, not a sign of weakness.

If you or someone you know would benefit from additional support, help is available.

Lifeline is available 24 hours on 13 11 14.
Kids Helpline is available on 1800 55 1800.

Sydney, Australia, and people around the world have shown care before, and they are showing it again. It supports recovery and helps communities hold together.