23/02/2026
Abusers hurt you then punish you for feeling it.
Abusers cause pain then deny your right to name it. If they control your feelings, they control you.
An abusive person will always try to convince you that you don’t deserve to feel what you feel after they've hurt you. They’ll minimise your pain, rewrite the story, and decide for you whether your experience was “bad enough” to matter. In their world, only they get to decide when you’re allowed to have emotions which conveniently ends up being never. This is how they manage their fragile grandiose false self from ever taking accountability.
They can hurt you emotionally, psychologically, or physically. They can lie, cheat, belittle, betray, and break you down. But the moment you express pain, they flip the script:
“It wasn’t that bad.”
“You’re exaggerating.”
“You’re too sensitive.”
“You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”
This is how abusive people protect their power by invalidating your reality until you start doubting your own. When you doubt your own reality, you are controlled. The abuser writes your reality for you and gets away with taking accountability to maintain their abusive behaviour and deceptive lifestyle.
And if you’ve internalised this mindset, if you believe other people don’t deserve to feel their feelings unless their suffering meets your personal threshold... unlearn it. That belief is toxic. That belief is abusive. That belief is exactly how harm gets justified and repeated.
People are allowed to feel what they feel. Full stop.