Mohamed Rima

Mohamed Rima Social Media Disclaimer: This page and posts are not therapy or a replacement for a professional counselling relationship or mental health care.

Relationship Education
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Abuse cannot be excused.It needs to be stated plainly:Autism does not excuse abuse. Depression does not excuse abuse. ...
03/01/2026

Abuse cannot be excused.

It needs to be stated plainly:

Autism does not excuse abuse.
Depression does not excuse abuse.
Addiction does not excuse abuse.
Trauma, anxiety, ADHD, or any other mental health condition does not excuse abuse.

Many people live with these challenges and still treat their partners, families, and communities with respect. Struggle does not automatically turn someone into an abuser. Abuse is a pattern of behaviour rooted in entitlement, control, and the refusal to take responsibility.

When we say, “He didn’t mean it, he’s autistic,” or “She lashed out because she’s depressed,” we are not being compassionate, we are enabling harm. We are silencing victims. We are protecting the behaviour instead of protecting the people being hurt by it.

Mental illness can explain someone’s pain.
It cannot justify their violence.

Not everyone with a mental health condition is abusive, and not every abuser has a mental health condition. We do real harm when we blur that line.

No diagnosis gives anyone the right to hit you, threaten you, belittle you, manipulate you, or make you afraid in your own home. Compassion for someone’s struggles does not require you to sacrifice your safety or dignity.

You are allowed to expect safety.
You are allowed to expect respect.
You are allowed to walk away.

This is a reminder to our community:
Support people through their challenges, yes, but never at the cost of normalising abuse. Accountability and care must exist together. One never cancels out the other.

Abuse is a choice. And no condition gives anyone permission to choose it.

Everyone wants to be better when a new year arrives, but the truth is: “New year, new me” is flimsy. A new year doesn’t ...
27/12/2025

Everyone wants to be better when a new year arrives, but the truth is:

“New year, new me” is flimsy.
A new year doesn’t automatically fix anything.
The calendar flips, but your patterns don’t.
Your wounds don’t.
Your habits don’t.
Your avoidance definitely doesn’t.

Growth and change fall apart when they’re built on hype instead of self‑awareness.
You can’t change what you refuse to look at.
You can’t break cycles you won’t name.
You can’t build a new life on top of old blind spots.

These 10 questions aren’t just reflection... they’re the real reset.
Because self‑awareness is the engine.
The new year is just the backdrop.

If someone needs to control the s**t out of you to feel secure, that’s not protection at all. It’s fear dressed up as lo...
26/12/2025

If someone needs to control the s**t out of you to feel secure, that’s not protection at all. It’s fear dressed up as love. Real care gives you room to breathe.

25/12/2025

How you bring up a complaint predicts how it'll end. If you bring up complaints with criticism and blame, it's highly likely to not land well and be met with defensiveness and then get you stuck in the attack/defend cycle.

24/12/2025

Narcissists are miserable. Don't be deceived by their fake happiness.

Full video: "Does God bless narcissists?" for Facebook subscribers only.

Understanding the Narcissist’s Grandiose False SelfWhen we talk about narcissistic behaviour, we’re not talking about co...
23/12/2025

Understanding the Narcissist’s Grandiose False Self

When we talk about narcissistic behaviour, we’re not talking about confidence, self-love, or self-assurance. We’re talking about an internal operating system. A defensive structure. A psychological construction that forms very early in life when a child’s emotional world is not met with attunement, safety, or healthy boundaries. This structure is called the grandiose false self.

It is who they had to become to survive.

But while this structure may have originated as a survival mechanism, in adulthood it becomes profoundly destructive, especially in intimate relationships.

The grandiose false self is an inflated identity built to protect a fragile, underdeveloped inner self. It functions like armor: rigid, impenetrable, and intolerant of vulnerability.

This false self operates through:
- Superiority
- Entitlement
- Emotional detachment
- A chronic unlimited need for admiration
- A profound intolerance for accountability
- A chronic need for control

The tragedy is that the narcissistic individual becomes fused with this false self. They cannot distinguish between the mask and the person beneath it. The false self is their internal operating system. It's their identity. This is important because survivors often think they can fix the narcissist with a little love and obedience. You can't.

In relationships, the grandiose false self creates a relational pattern that is predictable and extremely painful for partners.

1. Idealization
In the beginning, they present a curated version of themselves: attentive, charming, spiritually aligned, they mimick their partner to come off as compatible, emotionally available.
This is not intimacy. It is predatory performance to land their prey.

2. Devaluation
As soon as the partner’s needs, boundaries, feelings, or individuality emerge, the false self feels threatened. The partner becomes a mirror that no longer reflects perfection back to them. The perfect partner to them is the silent partner. The conforming partner. The obedient partner with no autonomy or voice of their own.

This loss of control of their partner leads to:
- Gaslighting
- Emotional withdrawal
- Rage or passive-aggressive punishment
- Blame-shifting
- Extreme defensiveness
- Spiritual or moral manipulation
- Verbal abuse
- Psychological abuse
- Sometimes physical abuse
(These are used to maintain or regain control of their partner)

3. Control
Because the grandiose false self cannot tolerate unpredictability or share another perspective, they attempt to control the emotional environment.
Your autonomy feels destabilizing.
Your growth feels competitive.
Your boundaries feel like rejection.
Your feelings, needs, and perspective is a threat.

4. Lack of Empathy
Empathy requires a stable, regulated self.
The false self is too fragile to allow genuine emotional connection and to feel another person's feelings. Their philosophy of feelings is that feelings are weak and require vulnerability. Something their grandiose false self won't allow.

This is why survivors often describe the relationship as confusing, dehumanising, and spiritually draining.

Healthy individuals see relationships as reciprocal and grounded in mutual respect. The narcissist sees the world differently.
The narcissistic worldview is organised around psychological survival and the preservation of dominance.

They see:
- Hierarchy instead of partnership
- Utility instead of humanity
- Threat instead of difference
- Admiration instead of connection
- Black or white instead of nuance
- Win or lose competition instead of mutuality

People become objects, either useful or dangerous.

The harm is not accidental.
The narcissistic individual knows when they are lying, manipulating, withholding, punishing, or distorting reality.
They may not feel remorse, but they are aware of their actions.

The intent is not to “accidentally hurt you.”
The intent is to:
- Maintain control
- Protect their superiority
- Avoid accountability
- Regulate their ego at your expense

The behaviour is intentional, even if the underlying injury is unconscious.
The narcissistic individual chooses the strategy that preserves their power, even when it harms the other person. Intentionality is proven by the way the narcissist is able to switch off their abuse in public and switch it on in private. When they charm people in public but abuse their victims in private. When they hold extreme vengeance and hate towards people who wronged them, even decades later. This proves they know what they are doing and they know their abuse is wrong. That's why it's hidden. It's not reactive defensiveness in the moment, it's planned and calculated even when they are not dysregulated.

So while the origin of the false self may be rooted in unconscious early developmental wounds, the ex*****on of narcissistic abuse involves deliberate tactics, calculated, intentional, patterned, and repeated. Not every wounded child turns out to be narcissistic. Humans are created with free will. The choice of doing good and bad remains a conscious decision.

Survivors feel the malice because the malice is real.

From an Islamic perspective, the grandiose false self stands in direct opposition to the core values of the faith.

1. Arrogance (kibr)
The false self is built on the illusion of superiority, like Satan.
The Prophet ﷺ defined arrogance as rejecting truth and belittling others, precisely the dynamic seen in narcissistic behaviour and in Satan in the story of Satan and Adam.

2. Oppression (zulm)
Emotional and psychological harm is a form of oppression.
Allah forbids oppression in all its forms.

3. Avoidance of accountability
Islam emphasises self-reckoning (muhasabah).
The false self cannot tolerate blame, correction, or responsibility.

4. Manipulation of religious language
Using Islam to shame, silence, or control others is spiritual abuse.
It is a misuse of the deen, not a reflection of it.

5. Absence of mercy
Mercy is the heart of Islamic ethics.
The false self operates through entitlement, not compassion.

The grandiose false self is a developmental injury that becomes a relational injury.
It harms the narcissistic individual, but it devastates the people closest to them.

Understanding this dynamic is not about diagnosing others.
It is about recognising patterns that violate your emotional, psychological, and spiritual well-being.

You deserve relationships grounded in:
- Mutual respect
- Emotional safety
- Accountability
- Mercy
- Sincerity

These are not luxuries.
They are Islamic values.
They are human values.

And they are the foundation of healing.

Once you see the intentionality behind the narcissist's abusive behaviour, the confusion ends, and the path to reclaiming your dignity begins.

This isn't about only being a sin. It’s about what happens to the heart, the mind, the soul, & the way we relate to real...
21/12/2025

This isn't about only being a sin. It’s about what happens to the heart, the mind, the soul, & the way we relate to real human beings.

P**n trains you to disconnect empathy from desire.
It teaches you to consume people instead of honouring them.
It normalises taking instead of relating.
It conditions you to expect performance instead of partnership.

And over time, it numbs you to the humanity of others... & to your own.

P**n taps into the brain’s addiction cycle:

- Trigger: Stress, loneliness, boredom, or emotional pain creates internal discomfort.
- Craving: The brain remembers p**n as a quick dopamine hit & starts pushing you toward it.
- Ritual: The mind slips into autopilot, seeking privacy, scrolling, searching.
- Acting Out: Watching p**n gives a temporary dopamine spike, a momentary escape.
- Shame & Crash: After the high fades, guilt & emptiness hit.
- Repetition: That emotional crash becomes the next trigger, restarting the cycle.

This loop rewires the brain to seek relief through the same behaviour, even when the person knows it harms them.

And one of the most painful consequences shows up inside marriage: desensitisation.

P**n overstimulates the brain with constant novelty, unrealistic bodies, exaggerated reactions, & endless variety. Over time:

- Real intimacy feels “less exciting” because the brain has been conditioned to expect extreme stimulation.
- A spouse’s normal body, normal reactions, & normal pace feel “not enough.”
- Connection becomes harder because p**n teaches performance, not partnership.
- Desire becomes detached from the spouse & attached to fantasy.
- Emotional closeness weakens because p**n is a solo, secretive behaviour that pulls a person inward.
- S*x becomes comparison-based instead of connection-based.
- The spouse may feel rejected, inadequate, or unseen, even when they’ve done nothing wrong.

None of this is because the spouse is lacking. It’s because p**n rewires the brain to crave what is artificial, exaggerated, and impossible.

If you’ve struggled with this, you’re not alone. Many people are fighting their way out of the same cycle. Healing and rewiring is possible. Seeing your spouse as whole, sacred, and human again is possible.

**naddiction

Healing doesn’t mean you’ll never be triggered. It means you’ll know how to return to yourself faster.
21/12/2025

Healing doesn’t mean you’ll never be triggered. It means you’ll know how to return to yourself faster.

The Prophet ﷺ said: "I was only sent to perfect good character." (Musnad Ahmad)Islam isn’t just about rituals. It’s abou...
15/12/2025

The Prophet ﷺ said: "I was only sent to perfect good character." (Musnad Ahmad)

Islam isn’t just about rituals. It’s about how those rituals transform your character. The clearest sign that your practice is sincere is not in your public persona, but in your private conduct. Not in how you speak on stage, but in how you speak at the dinner table.

Your spouse, children, and family deserve the best of your character, not the leftovers after you've impressed the world. They see the real you. They poke at your unhealed parts. And that’s not a flaw in them, it’s a mirror for you.

It’s easy to fake kindness outside. It’s harder to be kind when you're tired, triggered, angry, or challenged. But that’s where the work is. If your presence at home causes anxiety, if you're defensive, dismissive, abusive, or unempathetic, then it's not Islam you're practicing. It's ego dressed in religious language.

The Prophet ﷺ was most gentle with his family. He said: "The best of you are those who are best to their families, and I am the best among you to my family." (Tirmidhi)

He never made his family feel unsafe. He never used religion to justify cruelty. So if your Islam isn’t making you kinder, more patient, more emotionally mature, then it’s time to recalibrate.

Stop weaponising religion.
Start using it to heal, grow, and reflect.

My heart and thoughts are with the Bondi Beach victims.
14/12/2025

My heart and thoughts are with the Bondi Beach victims.

Marriage in Islam is a completion of faith, not a cure for emptiness. You are already whole, already dignified, already ...
13/12/2025

Marriage in Islam is a completion of faith, not a cure for emptiness. You are already whole, already dignified, already honoured by Allah. A spouse is meant to honour that wholeness and walk beside you in growth. To say you need someone to ‘complete’ you suggests you are insufficient by default, but you are not. You are complete in your humanity; marriage is about companionship and growth, not hoping someone will come and 'fix' you. True partnership is built when two imperfect yet complete souls respect each other’s boundaries and evolution.

This is what healing looks like for me.Not the big fancy retreats. Not the podcasts. Not the perfectly curated Instagram...
13/12/2025

This is what healing looks like for me.

Not the big fancy retreats. Not the podcasts. Not the perfectly curated Instagram quotes.
It’s this... a man and his child gutting fish on a hot day, laughing, rinsing, learning.
No filters. No performance. Just presence.

We chase big moments like addicts... promotions, accolades, positions.
But life doesn’t happen in the big.
It happens in the small.
In the mundane.
In the quiet, messy, ordinary seconds that don’t make the highlight reel.

This is where legacy lives.
Not in what material you build, but in what you pass down.
Not in what you say, but in how you show up.
Knife in hand. Hose in hand. Fish scales on your face. Side by side.

You want to be a good dad?
Be here.
Be consistent.
Be boring in the best way.
Because the child won’t remember the fish.
He’ll remember the feeling.
That he mattered.
That he was trusted.
That he belonged.

And one day, when you're gone and forgotten, when life guts him. When grief, betrayal, or burnout slice through his chest... he’ll remember this.
The smell of salt.
The sound of pelicans.
The way you looked at him like he was enough.

That’s the work.
That’s the healing.
That’s the damn point.

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Liverpool, NSW
2170

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About Me

I have been actively involved in community work for over 15 years focusing on grassroots work in the Muslim community. I am also a co-founder and General Manager of MIA - Markaz Imam Ahmad, a very active Islamic community centre in the heart of Liverpool CBD. My focal work in MIA is the development of youth in the light of Islamic teachings and building them to be productive in our community. MIA also serves as giving the youth a place to belong and feel accepted.

I have a passion for seeking knowledge and have been for many years under some of Sydney’s well known and respected Imams and teachers. I am currently on my 4th year and final semester in completing a Bachelor of Arts in Islamic Studies through the International Open University (IOU).

I am a qualified and insured counsellor and registered with the ACA - Australian Counselling Association. I have a dedicated private practice in Liverpool, NSW and my focus as a counsellor is to help my clients reach their potential and support them to transform personal challenges into life enhancing opportunities. This is achieved by providing a neutral, confidential, non-judgemental safe space, listening to their concerns and customising a therapeutic plan that suits their situation.

I am trained in the Gottman Method Couples Therapy (level 2) and have a passion in working with couples improve their relationship. I blend my methods to tailor for my client’s needs, whether it be one maintenance session you require or an in-depth therapy catered for your needs, marriage is something worth investing in.