19/10/2025
Story Time: Understanding “Running or Absconding”
Reef was a runner.
For different reasons, with different functions — and how we responded laid the path to his future.
Understanding the function of behaviour and how we react makes all the difference.
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💨 Function: Avoidance
Doesn’t want to do something. Wants to leave.
Behaviour: Runs — we run after.
Result: He escapes, now amused and in control.
Learned: “If I don’t want to do something, I can run, and it stops.”
✅ What to do instead:
• Positive reinforcement — praise before signs of avoidance: “You’re doing great! Nearly done.”
• Use a time timer — show how long is left.
• Shorten the task but finish it.
• First/Then strategy: “First we finish this, then we go for a walk.”
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🌪️ Function: Sensory
Fight or flight has kicked in. They’re escaping what’s overwhelming them. I say, they’re running for their life.
Result: Relief — they got away and can calm.
Learned: “I have to manage this myself; no one understands.”
✅ What to do instead:
• Watch for early signs: changes in body language, restlessness, glancing around.
• Offer supports: headphones, sensory breaks, quiet space.
• Give assurance, but if adrenaline’s hit — restraint or holding won’t help. They need safety and calm.
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🎭 Function: Attention
“If I do this, even if I get in trouble, I get attention.”
Result: They’re the star of the show.
Learned: “Any attention works — even negative.”
✅ What to do instead:
• Positive praise on the behaviour you wish to see more of, and label it — constant and genuine: “I love how you’re sitting quietly.”
• Ignore or redirect minor red choices. Stay calm.
• Use First/Then so they know when fun or choice activities come next.
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🚨 When we get it wrong…
A sensory child ignored.
An avoidant child given sensory breaks.
An attention-seeker rewarded with a chase.
Behaviour escalates.
The child becomes “the problem.”
Other kids learn “that’s just how they are.”
Parents get the call to come ans pick them up from daycare / kindy / school / OSHC again.
And the child — still misunderstood — loses trust and the behaviour perpetuates and the child’s beahviour becomes less socially acceptable.
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I’m not a behaviour practitioner, I’m just a Mum who has experienced the disregulated child. I’ve seen enough to know this stuff matters.
This is exactly what Cameron from Habitude will unpack in his 3-hour workshop when he joins is in Bowen next month.
If you support a child who struggles — in school, at home, or in the community — please come along. It’s only 3 hours of your time, and it’s less than $50. Anyone is welcome to attend, if you think you need the information to better support someone. The greater the attendance, the better supported our loved ones will be…. And that’s my motivation.
We have 20 people registered to attend… including Turtle Tide Supports.
I encourage you to join us, especially if you’re an independent support worker, disability service, teacher, teachers aid, early childhood educator or therapist.
It could make the difference between a child being misunderstood… and a child being well supported.
First steps to positive behaviour support: https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1301021348491254&id=100057502026837
