Mackay Youth Support Service Inc

23/12/2025

23/12/2025

When a child is melting down, our instincts can take over — and not always the helpful ones.
We might lecture, rush to fix, or tell them to calm down… but these actually block co-regulation rather than build it.

Let’s talk about what not to do — and what to try instead — so we can truly help a child borrow our calm instead of our chaos.

IN THE RESOURCE STORE - instant electronic download with secure global checkout.

Managing Big Feelings: A Toolkit for Parents & Educators, a Parent and Educators Toolkit

Helping children turn big emotions into skills for life.

When a child’s emotions feel too big to handle, it can be overwhelming — for them and for you.
Managing Big Feelings: The Toolkit is your go-to resource for guiding children through strong emotions with empathy, clarity, and proven strategies.

What’s Inside:
• Step-by-step calming strategies for moments of overwhelm
• Practical activities to build emotional awareness
• Visual aids to help children recognise and name their feelings
• Scripts and prompts for supportive conversations
• Tools for parents, educators, and support staff

This toolkit is grounded in evidence-based approaches to emotional regulation. It’s designed to work in classrooms, at home, and in one-to-one settings, helping children learn how to manage their emotions in ways that are safe, healthy, and empowering.

Download now and start turning emotional overwhelm into growth, resilience, and connection.

Electronic download available at
link in comments.

22/12/2025

We don't need to have the perfect words. We don't need to have a script. Right now, the best thing we can do to support young people is to create a safe space for connection.

In this conversation, Kids Helpline counsellor Hannah Wilson and Parentline Qld + NT's Kim Harper explore practical ways to respond to your child's questions, emotions and behaviour, and how to know when extra support might be helpful.

Watch the webinar here: https://kidshelpline.info/4ap6eo4

11/12/2025

When the Brain Flips into Alarm

A young person in distress isn’t being difficult — their nervous system has shifted into protection mode. This quote speaks to a truth we often forget: you cannot teach calm to a brain that is fighting to feel safe. Until safety is restored, connection and learning take a back seat.

The Neurobiology of ‘Alarm’

When anxiety spikes, the amygdala sends rapid-fire signals that shut down the thinking brain. Logic, reasoning, and self-control all become harder to access. What looks like defiance or refusal is often simply a child whose brain is overwhelmed and unable to process any more demands.

Behaviour Isn’t the Starting Point

Trying to correct or teach in the middle of dysregulation rarely works — and often escalates things further. This is not a lack of discipline. It’s neuroscience. The first step is always helping their nervous system settle so they can return to a place where learning, listening, and problem-solving are possible.

Co-Regulation Creates the Pathway

A regulated adult is the most powerful intervention. A calm voice, slowing your pace, reducing sensory load, and offering containment cues all send the message: “You’re safe. I’m with you.” Slowly, their alarm system begins to switch off, allowing the thinking brain to come back online.

Calm Is Something We Model, Not Demand

Young people learn calm when they experience it consistently from the adults around them. When we embody steadiness instead of urgency, connection instead of control, we teach nervous system skills that can’t be delivered through words alone. They absorb our regulation long before they can practise their own.

If You Want Practical Tools That Work
For step-by-step strategies to support emotional regulation, reduce anxiety, and strengthen co-regulation at home or in school, explore our evidence-based toolkits.
Link in comments below ⬇️ or via Linktree Shop in Bio.

11/12/2025

When a young person is overwhelmed, “calm down” feels like the obvious thing to say — but it’s something a dysregulated brain simply can’t do on command.

In that moment, their body is in threat mode: heart racing, breath shallow, thinking brain offline. Until their nervous system feels safe again, calm isn’t a choice — it’s a state they have to be guided back into.

This visual explains the brain–body loop behind big feelings, and why co-regulation and connection work so much better than pressure or reasoning.

If you’re navigating this at home or in the classroom, our The Child Brain Explained Toolkit gives you step-by-step support to help a child return to calm.

11/12/2025

Free HOW TO CO-REGULATE WITH A CHILD INFORMATION POSTER
Children cannot calm on their own when they feel overwhelmed. They rely on the adult to guide them back to safety. This image shows simple steps that help you co regulate with a child in moments of distress. Slow your breathing, soften your body, reduce demands, and keep your voice steady. These actions help the child feel grounded and understood. When the adult is the anchor, the child can settle and recover.

If you would like this as a free PDF, comment ANCHOR and we will send you a link to it.

28/11/2025

When you ban screens as a consequence, it can feel like the quickest way to 'make the lesson stick'.

But for many young people (especially ND children), screens are a regulating tool — so removing them often ramps up overwhelm rather than reducing the behaviour.

Today’s post looks at why screen bans tend to backfire and what actually supports learning and regulation instead.

If you missed yesterday’s post on natural and logical consequences, it helps explain why consequences that don’t match the behaviour rarely lead to meaningful change.

Our Managing Big Feelings Toolkit is linked in the comments below ⬇️ or via Linktree Shop in Bio.

28/11/2025

28/11/2025

The 3 Things PDA Kids Need More Than Rewards, Charts, or Consequences

Most behaviour systems are built on motivation, rewards, praise, tokens, consequences.

But PDA kids don’t struggle with motivation.
They struggle with threat response.

That means the goal isn’t to get them to “try harder.”
The goal is to help their nervous system feel safe enough to participate.

Here are the 3 things that make the biggest difference 👇

1️⃣ AUTONOMY

PDA kids need to feel in control of themselves before they can engage with anything else.

Tiny choices, shared plans, flexible language, asking instead of telling, these aren’t spoiling.
They’re access ramps to safety.

When autonomy is protected, demand avoidance drops.
When autonomy is threatened, resistance rises.

2️⃣ SAFETY (Nervous System Safety, Not “You’re Fine” Safety)

If their brain perceives a demand as a threat, it doesn’t matter how calm, nice, or logical the request is, the body goes into fight / flight / freeze / fawn.

Safety is not the absence of danger.
Safety is the presence of a regulated adult who isn’t trying to control them.

The felt sense of “I’m not trapped. I still have agency.”
That’s when learning, problem solving, and cooperation switch back on.

3️⃣ CO-REGULATION (Not “Calm Down”)

You can’t talk someone out of a dysregulated state.
You co-regulate them out of it.

It sounds like:
“I’m here. You don’t have to fix this alone.”
“I can see your body is working hard right now.”
“Let’s breathe together / move / step outside / pause.”

Their nervous system borrows yours.
That’s how they learn regulation, by feeling it, not being told to do it.

If the child can’t do the thing, the solution isn't motivation, it’s safety.

Connection first.
Autonomy protected.
Nervous system supported.
That’s when access to skills returns.

Rewards don’t teach regulation.
Safety does.

28/11/2025