07/10/2025
Dysregulation Station
Well⌠I made it halfway through the holidays before really losing my patience with everyone and everything.
The difference this time?
While I noticed what was happening and started putting a plan in place to shift my nervous system, I realised something huge â I wasnât feeling any guilt or shame about it.
Instead, I could reframe that guilt into acceptance and compassion. I could see it for what it was â a perfect learning moment for my kids.
If our kids never see us dysregulated, we unintentionally teach them that dysregulation is something that only happens to them â that theyâre weird or broken in some way.
So, I modelled how to manage it.
First, I named it: I told them I could feel my heart beating faster and a sense of agitation rising through my body like an itch I couldnât scratch.
Describing it like this gave them language to understand their own interoceptive signals â those internal body sensations that tell us what we need.
Then I told them I was going for a run. (Donât worry, weâve got a treadmill in the shed â no children were abandoned in the making of this regulation moment đ
).
And yes â Iâm aware that having this option is a privilege not everyone has.
Running helps burn off the adrenaline flooding my system.
Afterwards, I had a cold shower â another nervous system reset tool.
Then I cleaned. Why? Because visual clutter overwhelms me.
But hereâs another small win â I didnât rage clean!
Instead, I put on some tunes â the big ballads, not âHot Potatoâ â and sang my heart out.
And you know what happened?
Joy came back into the house.
The kids (and their sleepover friend) laughed at how ridiculous I looked using the vacuum as a microphone and joined me for a little dance.
We reconnected.
I apologised for being grumpy â downright cranky, really.
And they hugged me and said, âItâs ok, Mum. We all have bad days.â
My heart soared. They get it.
Iâm sharing this because I want you to know â youâre not alone.
I teach families how to do this, and I still have to work at it every day too.
So please, give yourself some compassion these holidays.
Do something that brings you joy.
Because joy is contagious. đ