18/09/2022
So why 'SilentMe'? Oh thank you for asking! Here's how it all came together 😋
BlogPost #002: The Importance of Silent Reflection 🙏
I've spent the most part of my life looking outwards to try and construct an image of who I wanted to be... very different to the question that I should have been asking myself growing up... "Who am I when I direct my gaze within?" This is of course hindsight and my answer to the famous question; "what advice would you give your younger self?" Mine would be: "You will find fleeting and ever-changing answers out there, but the ones that matter, the ones that are relative to your own life experience... those answers you will find within yourself".
I spent all my growing years trying to make sense of the world, really but unknowingly trying to make sense of myself. The external world is fast to grasp, it holds too much noise, which is more than a child can handle without proper support, guidance and love.
The worst part of it all, the noise becomes the normal, the noise becomes the blanket that wraps the mind, a false safety mechanism to blame and distract oneself from. If I wasn't right, it wasn't ME that was defect, it was the thing that I copied... of course this is not what I was telling myself, but reflecting back, I was wearing a clunky armour with borrowed pieces from all the 'ideals' I had come across in my life, when really deep down I had kept myself in darkness. Who I truely was, what MY needs were, what MY values were, I didn't know, I didn't think I needed to know, I just borrowed someone else's.
The Chameleon, living in the real world but not in the same way that most other animals do... rather than existing on it's own, it has a magical weave amongst the fabric of reality itself, a morphing and ever changing creature of its environment... what is the true colour of a chameleon when the outside world does not exist? What colour is it truely when it isn't riddled in shock and fear, hiding from the noisy world... free to be itself?
I ponder the Chameleon while seeking a deeper truth for myself... I also googled it... it removed a little bit of the magic from my poem lol! But I know that a Google search wont give me the answers to the real questions I'm truely asking.
It was only in my early 30's where I did stop and ask myself some fundamental questions... something that I had never had the courage to ask myself previously, it just never came up... my mind did well to ensure I was always distracted with the outer noise.
So again, back to the original question, why SilentMe? What is the true importance of Silent Reflections? Well I got to a point in my life where I needed stable ground, I wanted to be sure of who I was besides the daughter, the sister, auntie and the girlfriend. When I became brave enough to peel away each layer, who would I meet? It didn't care for it to be articulated to the world, I just at the very least wanted to be able to close my eyes amongst all the chaos and have my own inner knowing that I could always fall back on, a space to retreat to and stay grounded in... for me, this was only possible in the realm of Silence.
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As you follow my journey I will be sharing with you my answers to these fundamental questions:
🌱 What are my needs?
- Emotional needs
- Physical needs
- Intellectual Growth needs
🌱What are my Values?
- Do I live by these values?
- Do my friends, family and partner share these values?
My greatest experience through answering these questions was that I was finally able to hear myself... I found that in my silence, a little Judy popped her head up, the voice of my inner child had a chance to be heard.... and what she told me is that the world was a scary place... I finally had the opportunity to be there for her for the first time in a very long time... my journey of self love and nurture began here.
I hope that we always choose the path of healing, even when we face a whole life of resistance to push through. With persistence we slowly get accustomed to being patient with ourselves through love and acceptance, the hard and heavy feelings of working through the emotion, turns into an increased love and compassion for yourself, the work becomes so rewarding, so fulfilling, and if there is a something that is so underrated yet so crucial... it is the work on healing ourselves.
I hope that in this increasingly connected world, we can choose to connect through our shared silence and stories of growth. I thank you for being apart of my journey and hope to connect with you and be apart of yours too!
Much Love, stay grounded and strong in your Silence xOx
