11/11/2025
𝐇𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐈 𝐚𝐦, 𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐞𝐬𝐤.
𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐫𝐲. 𝐏𝐮𝐳𝐳𝐥𝐞𝐝. 𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐦𝐞𝐝...
I finally have the day I’ve been longing for: the kind of day I kept postponing because I was “too busy” handling everything else. A whole damn day to create. To write. To dream. To plan. To finally get clear. And yet, here I sit… pi**ed off with myself.
Because as I slow down enough to listen, I’m struck by the truth:
I’ve let so much time slip through my fingers. I’ve handed over too much of myself, like my time, my energy, my goals.
I’ve become aware that again I allowed people and outside circumstances to run my life. And now, the silence is deafening. It’s confronting. Because I see it. I feel it. And I can’t unsee it anymore.
And the irony? I look at my unfinished book - that I've started seven years ago – with the title:
“𝐖𝐡𝐨’𝐬 𝐃𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐅(*$𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐁𝐮𝐬?”
How’s that for irony? The title hits me and wakes me up!
𝐌𝐢𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫, 𝐦𝐢𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐥…
I thought by now I’d have it all figured out. But the truth? The wild, beautiful truth? We never really have it all together. There’s always another layer, another truth, another level of stripping down the BS.
Another version of “getting real.” … and you never know when the old patterns slowly creeping in again through the backdoor! How the heck did they get the keys, I would like to know!
Maybe today, I don’t need to create the perfect post or finish the next business plan. Maybe today is about looking in the mirror and not flinching. Not looking away. Maybe it’s about finally being honest with myself. About where I am, who I am, and what I’m no longer willing to tolerate, from others AND myself.
Well, sometimes being pi**ed off and angry at self is good - if you take time, and have the courage, to look!
𝐁𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧… 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭!
And without that flame burning quietly inside, there’s no real authenticity. Just noise. Masks. Pretending. Showing up like we’ve got it all handled when inside we’re barely hanging on. Life becomes a theatre, and we start collecting roles like costumes.
𝑊ℎ𝑖𝑐ℎ 𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝑔𝑒𝑡𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒?
𝑊ℎ𝑖𝑐ℎ 𝑜𝑛𝑒 ℎ𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑜𝑠𝑡 𝑝𝑎𝑖𝑛?
We stay on that stage, smiling, performing, and terrified someone might boo. Or worse… REALLY see us.
But here’s the plot twist: we’re not just scared of being judged. We’re scared of showing up. Scared to be seen in our vulnerability, our mess, our realness. Because to be real is to be exposed. And being exposed feels like standing in front of a lion called “judgment” and being afraid it will devour us any second.
But what if…
𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐟 𝐰𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞?
𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐟 𝐰𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐰𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐫𝐞?
What if we chose to be bold, not for the likes, not for the recognition, but for ourselves?
Because with time comes more clarity. With experiences comes deeper wisdom. And with truth comes a choice: pretend… or be real.
And as I write this, I feel lighter. Calmer. A little more whole. I created something from deep inside, and yeah, I feel better. It’s not polished. It’s not perfect. But it’s me.
Funny, the word I created for myself this morning was simple:
𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐁𝐨𝐥𝐝. Not bold for others. Not bold as a performance. Not bold as a brand.
𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐁𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐦𝐞! 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐁𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟!
Because sometimes, you don’t need to shout it to the world.
You just need to say it to yourself and mean it.
Sometimes, being bold is looking yourself in the mirror and saying:
“𝐍𝐨 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐍𝐨 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠. 𝐍𝐨 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠.”
So yeah, today… it’s not about changing the world or posting a perfect reel.
It’s about being bold with myself.
It’s about being real. Raw. Honest. Unfiltered.
𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟*&𝐢̂𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧!
Cartoon: Michael Barnes