21/12/2025
Two Houses.
The first year I went to my Dad’s for Christmas lunch was the last.
We were older when they got divorced, which somehow made it harder. I still couldn’t get my head around it. Afterwards, I drove “home” to my Mum’s house, lay down on my old bed, and cried for most of the afternoon.
And I decided, quietly but firmly, that I never wanted to spend Christmas like that again.
Going to two houses when there used to be one.
Trying to pretend it was fine when it wasn’t.
My story isn’t unique or special. This week, a friend told me it was not her turn to have the kids for Christmas.
She said it almost casually. Just a sentence. Just information.
And I just looked at her.
How much pain and complication can live inside one sentence?
To not be woken at 5am.
To not exclaim over what Santa brought.
To not burn the first pancake.
To not watch them jump up and down in front of the tree.
To not be overtired, happy and full of love.
Not.
Not.
Not.
So we both cried.
This year, parents all over the world are living this sentence:
It’s not their turn.
There is a lifetime of hurt packed into those words.
You don’t have to be brave about this one.
No one is asking you to be positive or grateful.
Jesus certainly isn’t.
In fact, there is this moment during the crucifixion when Jesus looks down and sees his mother standing there with the disciple John. He says to his mother, “Here is your son.” Then he says to John, “Here is your mother.” And John takes her into his own home.
Even from the cross, Jesus is still making family where things have been broken.
Still noticing who will be left alone.
Still saying, you belong, and you will be cared for.
Jesus saw his mother’s heartbreak.
And he sees yours too.
In the middle of his own suffering, he looks outward and brings something new into being.
A family formed from brokenness.
This is what Jesus does.
This is his invitation to you.
To belong to his family.
To sit at his table.
So bless you, all the Mums and Dads and Grandparents and Aunties and Cousins whose turn it is not.
Jesus does not leave you standing alone.
He sees you.
And he invites you to his family.
Love from my family in Christ to you,
Rev Jessie
