15/02/2026
As regular readers of these posts will be aware, one of the topics that probably gets mentioned here more often than most, is self-care. I think it is something that in these uncertain times, makes sense. What I see in my counselling room, is that some people are experiencing a lot of anxiety at the moment, whether it be caused by the cost of living rising, the crime rate, the protesters on our streets, the changes in political figures or dealing with anxiety about mortgages and the uncertainty of employment. It stands to reason then, that we need to take any steps that we can to help ourselves. Well I am raising it again tonight because of a conversation that I had with a friend a few days ago.
This woman, is someone who has great presence about her. Although I have not known her a long time, she strikes me as someone who is often happy, and someone who sees the joy in situations. She has had many adventures in life, which she shares with me from time to time. The mother of two adult children, she and her husband have, she tells me, never stayed in one of their homes for longer than five years at a time. Instead they have moved around to different areas in Melbourne, gone to live in London for years on end, and are just in the middle of orchestrating their latest move at almost seventy. This time they have sold their lovely four-bedroom home and moved into their one-bedroom flat in the inner suburbs, while they await inspiration for where they might want to buy next.
Now I appreciate, that it's what to some, sounds like hardly a problem to have at all. Being able to wait for that creative inspiration or to meet the next house which just whispers into your unconscious mind the words "buy me now, I'm the next house for you", is often not the only thing that drives us as we look to buy a house. Instead we are constantly doing sums, worrying how much those rates might rise and what that might mean to our mortgages. Still, to move house every five years? It would be beyond my worst nightmare. Imagine all that packing, let alone negotiating new loans, working out proximity to work or to local amenities, and so on. Then, once it is done, knowing that I'd be doing it all again so soon? As I said, my worst nightmare! For my friend however, it makes her tick, and when I asked how she avoids some of this anxiety, she said simply "well I practise a lot of self-care, and I have a self-care buddy who keeps me on track!"
To her, the self-care does not always take a lot of organising! It might be getting up every day and deciding to take a walk with the dog. It might be setting aside fifteen minutes to meditate. It might be taking time out to read a book which interests her, or setting off with the daily intention of doing at least "this" much packing, to help with the latest moving plans. Whatever daily intensions she sets out with however, she and one of her close friends have gotten into the habit of sending a text to each other each morning, outlining what they will do which is just focused on their own self-care, for that particular day. She says that while of course they are able to hold each other accountable to their plans, just the act of thinking and planning is enough to ensure that she makes time to do it.
Well this struck a chord with me. Although I haven't set up anything quite as formal as my friend has, I have notebooks allover my house, or files in my computer which I have started at one time or another, all aimed at bringing my focus back from feeling negative, towards the positive, which are again just examples of self-care. When I began chemotherapy in 2021 for example I had a ritual of noting down five things from each day which had made me happy. At other times I have noted down things that I am grateful for, or broken goals down into very small, achievable steps. So, if you feel like your mood is low, and like your self-care is either non-existent or not well maintained, remember that sometimes small steps can help us here. If you like my friend's idea, look around for a self-care buddy, remembering that what that leads us too is another regular connection in our lives, and this I believe, is key to our mental health and wellbeing. The other point is that through self-care, we are extending ourselves some self-compassion. We are recognising a need in ourselves, not trying to push it down and out of sight. At different times, we all have these needs!
Have a good week everyone, and try to pay some special attention to your self-care. Take care of yourselves and of each other; stay safe out there, and as always, stay connected.