Schema Therapy Institute Australia

24/03/2026

🧠 What Is Schema Chemistry?

Schemas are entrenched beliefs that develop early in life, often based on our experiences with caregivers and important relationships. Because these patterns shape how we expect relationships to work, we can sometimes feel drawn to people who trigger the same emotional themes.

For example:
- Someone with an abandonment schema may feel strongly drawn to partners who are emotionally inconsistent or unavailable.
- Someone with a defectiveness schema might feel attracted to partners who are critical or hard to please.

💡 Why Familiarity Can Feel Like Attraction

Our brains often equate familiarity with safety, even when the pattern itself is unhealthy. Because of this, relationships that mirror early emotional experiences can create a strong sense of emotional intensity, sparks/excitement, or feeling instantly understood. But sometimes what feels like chemistry is actually a schema being activated.

🌱 How Awareness Helps

Recognising schema chemistry can be empowering. It allows us to start asking different questions about attraction and relationships. For example:

- Does this person feel familiar, or do they feel safe and supportive?
- Are my emotional reactions connected to past experiences?
- Am I responding from my Vulnerable Child mode or my Healthy Adult mode?

In therapy, we can learn to notice when schemas are activated and to make relationship choices that support our emotional needs.

19/03/2026

Fear of abandonment isn’t just worrying someone might leave, it’s a deep-rooted fear that you’re not worth staying for. It can show up as people-pleasing, needing constant reassurance, or pushing others away before they can hurt you. Healing this schema starts with understanding where this fear came from and learning that our worth isn’t defined by whether someone stays 💛

12/03/2026

We're excited to share that Dr Rita Younan will be speaking at the upcoming conference 'Psychology Done Differently'.

This full day conference and networking dinner invites psychologists and mental health clinicians to step away from the usual conference experience and into a space designed for reflection, integration and meaningful learning.

More information: https://psychology.org.au/Event/25872

09/03/2026

In Schema Therapy, modes are the moment-to-moment emotional states and coping responses we experience. Today, we’re focusing on the Complaining Protector mode.

This mode manages vulnerability by focusing on what’s wrong. Nothing is ever its fault. Rather than directly accessing underlying vulnerabilty or unmet needs, the Complaining Protector externalises distress by highlighting perceived injustices or the shortcomings of others. This mode can develop in environments where needs were not consistently met, and indirect expressions of distress felt safer than openly expressing vulnerability.

When activated, this mode can create distance from painful emotions and may even elicit reassurance or support from others. However, over time it can reinforce feelings of helplessness, keep us disconnected from our needs and emotions, and create distance in relationships.

The Healthy Adult mode helps us gently look beyond the complaint and toward the unmet need underneath. Beneath the complaints, there is often a scared vulnerable child part longing to feel seen, heard, and soothed. The healthy adult mode helps us to take accountability and express ourselves in more helpful ways. Over time, recognising the Complaining Protector can help us to feel less stuck and more able to respond in helpful ways.

Interested in learning more? Click here to watch our 7 minute schema episode on the complaining protector: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uQwvMXTYqmE

04/03/2026

In this month's blog post we explore what schema therapy at STIA is like. Schema Therapy helps you move beyond insight and create real emotional change at the core level. At STIA, our work is grounded in science and guided by compassion, supporting you to build a stronger, healthier relationship with yourself.

Check out this month’s blog post below 🔗
www.stia.com.au/blog/schema-therapy-at-stia-grounded-in-science-and-rooted-in-compassion

23/02/2026

Looking to begin or continue your therapy journey? Several of our compassionate practitioners have upcoming availability and are here to support you. Get in touch to find the right fit for you 💬🧠✨

Intake: 03 9331 2878

18/02/2026

Increased distress or emotional pain can be a sign of progress in therapy. This is due to 'emotional thawing'.

We compare emotional thawing to frostbite. When we have frostbite, a body part has usually been overexposed to cold. Consequently, we lose all sensation and become numb in that part of the body. As we come out of the cold, we become aware that the body part is numb and as the numbness fades we begin to feel pain. We understand that the pain is a sign of the body healing.

This is also true for emotional pain. If we have grown up in an environment where our emotions or needs have been invalidated, we often develop a loss of physical and emotional awareness. In Schema Therapy we call this the ‘detached protector’ mode and it creates emotional numbness. Through therapy, as we reconnect with our emotions and needs, we first become aware of the numbness and then begin to feel the emotions and pain beneath the numbness.

Understanding and normalising this painful process can help us to tolerate or accept it. It is still important to have skills or tools to manage these difficult emotions as we begin to reconnect with them.

16/02/2026

Advance Your Schema Therapy Practice: Level Two Attachment-Informed Training

We’re excited to introduce our brand-new Level Two: An Attachment-Informed Approach to Schema Therapy — an advanced, in-person training taking place in Melbourne on May 14–15.

Designed for therapists who have completed Level One, this course supports clinicians to move beyond foundational knowledge and apply an attachment-informed lens to of schema therapy interventions, including limited reparenting, cognitive and experiential techniques, and behavioural pattern breaking.

Please note: Level Two is only open to therapists who have completed Level One.
If you haven’t yet completed Level One, this foundational training is available online, self-paced, with lifetime access.

If you’re ready to refine your attachment-informed schema therapy practice, we’d love to have you join us.

👉 Find out more and book:
Level Two: An Attachment-Informed Approach to Schema Therapy
https://bookwhen.com/schedule-individual-st/e/ev-s4j3-20260514090000

Level One: An Attachment-Informed Approach to Schema Therapy
https://relationshipscienceonline.com/attachment-st-course-2026/

This workshop builds on the foundational knowledge and skills developed in the Level 1 Course, Schema Therapy for Relationship Difficulties – An Attachment-Informed Approach. Delivered over two in-person days, the workshop combines didactic teaching with experiential dyadic learning activities. It...

09/02/2026

✨ Our first workshop of the year is fast approaching! ✨

We’re excited to be kicking off 2026 with Schema Therapy for Chronic Mood & Anxiety Disorders – Certification Workshop 1, starting online on 5 March.

This workshop is part of the Individual Schema Therapy Certification pathway and is designed to support clinicians to build confidence and skills in working with chronic mood and anxiety disorders, with a strong focus on practical application and dyadic practice.

A great way to start the year grounded in evidence-based, compassionate work. We’d love to see you there!

https://bookwhen.com/schedule-individual-st/e/ev-s09q-20260305100000

09/02/2026

Mode Spotlight: Punitive Critic Mode

In Schema Therapy, modes are the moment-to-moment emotional states and coping responses we experience. Today, we’re focusing on the Punitive Critic mode (also known as the punitive parent mode).

This mode sounds like an internal punisher. It tells us we deserve criticism, shame, or punishment. The narrative of the punitive critic is often an internalised message we heard as a child. It often develops in environments where mistakes were met with harsh consequences, or we experienced rejection or humiliation. When activated, this mode uses language that is attacking, shaming, and unforgiving. It can make even small errors feel like proof that we are “bad,” unworthy, and fundamentally flawed.

Living under the Punitive Critic can be exhausting and painful. It often fuels chronic shame, anxiety, depression, or self-sabotaging behaviours. Unlike the Demanding Critic, this mode rarely motivates growth — instead, it keeps us stuck in fear and self-blame.

The Healthy Adult mode plays an important role here. It recognises that punishment does not lead to healing or growth. Instead, we learn to respond to ourselves with accountability without cruelty, offering ourselves understanding and self-compassion. Learning to soften the Punitive Critic is a powerful step towards building self-acceptance.

05/02/2026

We're very excited that our Werribee location is now open and accepting new referrals ✨

If you are interested in scheduling an appointment please contact our intake team at intake@stia.com.au or visit our website.

📍62 Duncans Road, Werribee

30/01/2026

Despite how common substance use is, many people still experience shame, stigma, or self-blame. Understanding addiction as a complex psychological and emotional process helps create space for compassion, recovery, and hope. Read this month's blog post to learn more about addiction and pathways to recovery ✨

Check out this month’s blog post below 🔗

https://www.stia.com.au/blog/untangling-addiction