20/11/2025
Mode Spotlight: Demanding Critic Mode
In Schema Therapy, modes are the moment-to-moment emotional states and coping responses we experience. Today, we’re focusing on the Demanding Critic mode.
This mode sounds like an internal taskmaster. It tells us we should be doing more, working harder, performing better, or meeting impossibly high standards. It often develops when we grow up feeling that approval, love, or safety depended on achievement or being “perfect.” When activated, this mode sounds like an inner voice of relentless criticism. It can make rest feel “unearned,” mistakes feel catastrophic, and accomplishments feel fleeting or easily dismissible.
Importantly, the Demanding Critic isn’t all bad. It can sometimes help us stay focused, responsible, or committed to our goals. But when the all-or-nothing thinking, or perfectionistic rules take over, it moves from helpful structure into harsh self-pressure that leaves us stressed, feeling guilty, or burnt out. This is when we need our healthy adult mode to step in.
The Healthy Adult mode recognises when expectations are unrealistic and invites balance, compassion, and flexibility. We need to identify what realistic expectations look like and remind ourselves that our worth isn’t measured by productivity or perfection. Finally, we need to understand that rest and self-acceptance are essential and not optional.
