Coach Carly

01/02/2026

01/02/2026

Link’s in my bio. I’ll see you there ❤️‍🩹

31/01/2026

NO, YOU'RE NOT OVERTHINKING: YOU'RE IGNORING SIGNALS YOU'VE BEEN TAUGHT NOT TO TRUST

You're second guessing your own feelings. 😔

You feel hurt by the way they treat you, and wonder if you're just overreacting.

You feel uncomfortable with what they've said to you, but tell
yourself you're being too sensitive.

You KNOW in your gut that something is off, and has been for ages... but you gaslight yourself and convince yourself otherwise. 💨💡

So you continue to minimise, justify and rationalise their words, their actions, their lack of integrity, the inconsistencies that keep showing up.

You talk yourself out of what you already know, and stop seeing the mates that confirm what you know. 🥺

You stop trusting yourself over time, and become a confused shell of yourself. 🐚

But you're not really confused. They've programmed your brain to be that way over a long period of time.

You've spent time in relationships where your emotions were dismissed, minimised, gaslit, deflected or protected back onto you, and so your nervous system has had to adapt to survive.

Your body has learned that listening to your own internal signs leads to conflict, withdrawal, stonewalling, punishment... and so you just start questioning yourself instead of them. ❓

When you've been trained to override your own intuition, these signals can start to feel unsafe and even wrong - so the "just trust yourself" advice doesn't work.

Self-trust (or lack of it) isn't a mindset problem - it's linked to an unsafe nervous system and programming in your brain that no longer works in line with your best self. 🤯

And this is what I help people with; this is the work I've spent years immersed in through both professional experience in domestic abuse and coercive control as well as through my lived experience of breaking entrenched toxic relationship patterns.

I've seen (and experienced) again and again that insight alone doesn't change the behaviour; you also need to understand WHY you doubt yourself.

Once you can start to learn to interpret the signals from your body accurately again, the cycle starts to break. 💔

You learn to trust, respect, and love yourself again over time.

If you want to learn how to tell the difference between intuition, trauma responses, fear and genuine red flags - and stop second-guessing yourself in relationships - I'm teaching this in depth in my free webinar, Break The Cycle.

I'll take you through the exact framework I used myself and hundreds of others to stop outsourcing your truth and start trusting your own internal guidance again.

There's nothing wrong with you - you're responding exactly as someone would when they've learned not to trust themselves.

And whatever has been learned, can also be unlearned.

Join the webinar via my link in bio - it's happening on 14 February.

See you there,

Coach Carly xx

c o a c h i n g
t h r o u g h
c h a n g e +
t r a u m a ❤️

31/01/2026

You need safety, understanding, and language for what you’re experiencing to be able to get clear about your next steps.

That’s what this webinar gives you.
No pushing. No fixing. No forcing.

👉 Break the Cycle: register via link in bio.

30/01/2026

If something in you is curious, that’s enough.
Register for the Break the Cycle webinar; link in bio. 🔗

29/01/2026

This is your sign 🪧 Join now 🔗

28/01/2026

Focusing on who someone could be or who you want them to be can keep you stuck tolerating who they’re choosing to be right now.

This isn’t about blame.
It’s about understanding reality.

👉 We’ll break this down live on my upcoming free webinar, Break The Cycle, and explore how to respond with clarity. Link to join in bio.

27/01/2026

BREAK THE CYCLE: A WEBINAR FOR WOMEN READY TO STOP SELF-ABANDONING IN RELATIONSHIPS

There came a moment in my past abusive relationships where something inside me said "not this, not anymore". 🥺

Initially, it was a whisper, and the whisper got louder until I just couldn't ignore it.

If this is happening to you right now too, it may still be a whisper that you don't fully trust yet - and that's totally ok.

But you are feeling it. Thinking it. Knowing it, deep in your bones somewhere.

That nagging feeling that the relationship you're in, or the pattern you keep repeating, isn't bringing out your best self anymore. 🫣

Give yourself grace for where you're at right now, and love yourself anyway.

I created my new Break the Cycle free webinar for this very spot that you're in right now.

Not to tell you what to do, not to push you to leave, not to convince you of anything.

Just to help you understand what's actually happening, why it's so fcking hard to change, and what keeps pulling you back into the same relationship dynamic over and over again, either with the same person or different versions in different relationships.

WHO THIS IS FOR

This webinar is for women only.

Specifically, it's for women who:

😩 keep finding themselves in unhealthy, toxic, confusing or emotionally unsafe relationships
🤯 feel stuck between thinking "this isn't right" and "maybe I'm overreacting
🫩 are exhausted from people-pleasing, over-giving and walking on eggshells
🐚 have become a shell of themselves in their relationships because you've been abandoning yourself to keep the peace
🧘🏼‍♀️ have tried to journal it out, think positive or love their partner harder, but still feel stuck
❓ are starting to wonder if the issue isn't just them, but a deeper pattern

You don't need to put any labels on what's going on, or be ready to leave, or to have all the answers... you just need to be honest and get curious.

WHO THIS IS NOT FOR

❌ this isn't for guys - sorry, just wanting to keep this a safe space for women but you're more than welcome to reach out to me if you want a 1:1 chat about what's going on for you right now
❌ this isn't for those wanting to blame or diagnose their partner
❌ this isn't a "how to fix your relationship" webinar
❌ this isn't for anyone wanting a magic pill for how to fix their situation but wanting to bypass any self-reflection
❌ this isn't about learning how to try harder or tolerate more

This is about YOU, your nervous system, your attachment patterns and the cycles that keep repeating until you learn how to consciously interrupt the loop.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN IN THIS WEBINAR

We're going to unpack:
😍 why unhealthy relationships don't start unhealthy (and why this matters)
🌀 how trauma-bonding, attachment styles and nervous system survival responses keep you stuck
👋🏼 why "just leaving" isn't simple, even when you "know better"
😔 how self-abandonment slowly becomes your new normal
😳 the difference between emotional intensity and emotional safety
💪🏼 why strong, intelligent and capable women end up in these dynamics
💁🏼 what actually needs to change to stop repeating the pattern, regardless of who you're with next

This isn't just surface-level education and I'm not the kind of coach who sugar coats anything, so come prepared and put your seat-belt on!

But I promise you'll get clarity and language for what you've been going through, along with an understanding of why your nervous system responds like it does - without you feeling any shame or blaming yourself.

WHY SHOULD YOU LEARN THIS FROM ME?

This isn't just theory for me.

I've spent two decades so far working with both women and men (perpetrators and survivors or abuse) in the domestic abuse, mental health, addictions and criminal justice space as well as living those patterns myself - emotionally, financially and psychologically, with a bunch of significant, long-term abusive relationships now well and truly behind me.

I've been the high-functioning, intelligent and capable woman who couldn't understand why she kept attracting the same kind of relationship over and over again, despite working in the field herself and knowing all the red flags.

I've also done the work to heal it - and finally attracted true, stable, healthy love into my life.

This is why I now teach other women how to break the cycle at the root cause of it, not just change the surface level bullsht.

IF YOU'RE FEELING THE PULL AS YOU READ THIS... TRUST THE NUDGE

You don't have to decide anything after this webinar, no big moves need to be made.

But if something in you is sick of repeating the same fcking story, let this awareness start to creep in.

Register for my free Break The Cycle webinar via the link in my bio.

Show up exactly as you are, whether it's curious, guarded, hopeful, skeptical - all of it is welcome.

There will be a replay if you can't make it live, but you'll need to register whether you're there live or not.

Life doesn't have to be like this forever.

I've got your back, even if you don't have your own yet.

Let's do this.

Big love,

Coach Carly xx

C O A C H I N G
T H R O U G H
C H A N G E +
T R A U M A ❤️

27/01/2026

Your mind keeps looping
because your body didn’t feel safe enough to stop.
If it was nothing,
you wouldn’t still be thinking about it.
If this feels familiar…
you’re not alone.

Join my upcoming free webinar, Break The Cycle - link to join is in my bio. 🔗

26/01/2026

Incredible: At just 16 years old, Bohlale Mphahlele didn’t just dream of a safer South Africa, she built a device that could make it happen.

At the height of South Africa’s male violence to women crisis, while most teens were navigating high school and homework, Bohlale created a device that could save lives.

She designed a wearable safety device called the “Alerting Earpiece” – a discreet gadget worn like an ordinary earring.

If in danger, you can press a hidden button that instantly sends an alert to pre-set contacts. The device snaps a photo of the perpetrator, pinpoints your location, and shares it. All in real time.

All from an earring. Genius.

Having left school Bohlale founded her own company, Mphahlele Alerts (Pty) Ltd, to focus on refining and launching the Alerting Earpiece.

She’s been studying towards a degree in Information Technology, determined to sharpen her skills and grow her impact.

She also joined an innovation programme that supports young women developing solutions for their communities.

What a SHERO ❤️ I also feel deep
sadness that we live in a world where a 16 year old girl has to think like this - because of men 💔


📸 .in

26/01/2026

I’m breaking this down step by step in my free upcoming Break The Cycle live webinar on 14 February.

Register via the link in my bio 🔗

25/01/2026

If this resonates, it means you’re overloaded and overwhelmed.
Trying to make sense of emotionally charged situations alone often increases self-doubt, not clarity.
There’s a reason for that.
And there’s a way out of the loop.

👉 If this resonates, I’ll be expanding on this live on my upcoming free Break The Cycle webinar - link in bio.